my first and very own...

NOT ME MONDAY!!

so here i go, its my first attempt at a not me monday posting...i enjoy reading the ones posted by others but was never sure i could do it myself...but with the day i had today i think a "not me" is the only way to post about it!

i absolutely did not suggest we pack the boys up and take an impromptu trip to the zoo at 9am this morning. doesnt sound like a bad idea, except for the fact that i thought it would be a really great way to avoid making any/cleaning any messes around the house today! and fortunately everyone had a blast. although i did not promise Tuscan that the next time we go Lucia would be going with us, and they could ride the train and the merry go round together and maybe even play in the sand pit...nope, not me, i didnt say that! (mandy you should maybe send her up here a few weeks sooner!)

i did not take the lazy way out of life today, in prepration for the afternoon i was anticipating, and take a nap while the boys were napping. i would never do that, i am super mom! (thank goodness i really did though, cuz boy oh boy, was it an afternoon!)

i also did not make mac-n-cheese and sausage for dinner, only because i knew it was easier than cooking something the boys werent going to eat. no one feels good, so when all else fails, make them the easiest dinner you know they will love no matter how poor its nutritional value is!

i did not ban taenato from coming in the house because he had poop on his paw and i was to frazzled to deal with it, i wouldnt do that - its almost animal cruelty! but maybe i did do that because maybe i thought he deserved it after all the messes he has made in the house the last few days. he isnt feeling well and has been making us very aware of that since we woke up saturday morning, right before the funeral when we had to scrub the carpet, the kitchen floor and the bathroom floor because he had gotten sick apparently 10 times during the night. then he got sick during the night again last night and while we were at the zoo this morning...

i certainly did not and never would put my kids in the bathtub with the intent of using the time to get things done upstairs. kids in a tub dont make messes around the house! but i wouldnt have been doing things like scrubbing the mess on the carpet from while we were at the zoo...or running up and down the stairs twelve times to check on the kids in the tub, to find that not only did tarzan decide the dinning room floor was a great place to poop while i was bathing the babes but i was also finishing up the transaction with the roofers who stopped by at a not so great time. none of these thing are things i ever would have done.

but certainly and without a doubt, for anyone who really knows me, you know there is no possibility that i killed a spider today, not with my bare hands, but with a baby wipe! thankfully and surprisingly i did muster up the courage to do this one and i will claim ownership to it but only with explaination...the spider was in the twins bedroom, right next to cenzo's crib. i had to kill it, i had to overcome my horrible fear for the sake of my child.

so thats "not" me today...hope your day was a little better! im off to address thank you cards now!

thank you nani...

i am sending out a special thanks to Nani today, not only for all the amazing things she has done for our family and anyone else who entered her life while she was alive, but also for the amazing things she has done in the last few days.

it all started on Monday and maybe somehow we should have taken it as a sign then that something was going to happen, but who knew...sometimes the small things don't stand out quite as much until something bigger has happened. but anyway, frank was on the phone out on the deck, talking with a friend from church on Monday afternoon. he has spent much of his life dealing with his struggles in a less than desirable way and more recently decided to head down a fresher, healthier avenue, an avenue that has brought him closer to God. so he was talking with this friend from church, setting a plan to get together the next day for a nice walk in the park to chat. well while he was on the phone a humming bird was buzzing around in our apple trees! for anyone who does not know, humming birds were a really big thing with Nani, she had all sorts of humming bird nic-naks, etc...so at that moment frank just thought it was pretty cool that something so rare decided to check out our apple trees while he was standing right there! we actually have never seen that happen before! then one day later, just hours after having an amazing life talk with his friend from church, we get the news that Nani has moved on to a greater place, a place we can only hope to end up when our time on earth is through.

driving home from her wake today, i looked at frank and said "do you think maybe that humming bird was Big Papa, checking on you to make sure you were OK before he took Nani home with him?" it gave us a chill. it seems so possible because that is just the kind of people they were. there is a reason that Nani survived as a widow for so many years, she had a lot more people she needed to "take care of" before she could settle down and just be a wife for once!

with that being said, she looked gorgeous today...it may seem like a strange thing to say about someone laying in a coffin, but she truly did...she looked youthful and radiant, not what you would expect a 93 year old woman to look like. she looked peaceful and happy and you could just feel the light and refreshing air about the room. it was a beautiful day here today, just the kind of day you would expect to have when celebrating the life of such an amazing woman. as hard as it may have been to let her go (we have all been holding on for a long time now) there is certainly something peaceful about saying a final goodbye to someone here on earth, with the confidence of knowing you will see them again someday. there is no doubt in my heart that Nani is hand in hand with Big Papa in heaven, looking down at all of us with a warm smile, sending her love through sunshine, blooming flowers (or Christmas cactus for that matter), humming birds and even the rain. rain is in the forecast for tomorrow, not something you want surrounding you on the day of a funeral, but in Nani's case, it will be a different kind of rain. a cleansing rain. a refreshing rain. a rain that reminds you, tomorrow is another day, a day worth living, with a clear mind, a peaceful heart and a refreshed soul.

in so many ways, i wish i would have put forth more effort into strengthening the relationship i had with Nani. but i know she loved me, i could see it in her face every time she held my boys, i knew she was proud of what frank and i have accomplished together. and i knew she understood. time is of the essence and make the most of what you have. nothing is more precious than our children and they wont fit on our laps forever!

so tonight, i thank you Nani, for being the tree trunk of our family for all of these years. you have been the base of such a large family tree and through you we have all remained so close over the years, growing even closer more recently. it was times like your surprise birthday parties (for your 90th, 91st and you 92nd and even your 93rd!) that we would all get together and realize how much fun we all had and my promise to you is to use the birthdays of your great great grandsons to continue those family gatherings. you will always be in our hearts, not a day will go by that we will not think of you, our children will know your stories better than the most famous nursery rhymes and they will sing dominic the donkey at every christmas eve dinner! they may not remember you the way that their dad and uncles do, but they will know your legacy and hopefully through their grandma, they will be able to relive the memories that frankie, dave and dom have in the country. God bless you Nani, the way that you have blessed us. we will love you forever and ever and we'll see you again someday, so until then, enjoy your time with Big Papa.

love, shannon, frankie, tuscan, matteo and vincenzo

a loss to us but a blessing in heaven...

i cant say that i have always felt this way, but since becoming a believer and putting my trust in God, i now feel more content with the idea that the ending of a life here on earth is something to celebrate rather than something to be sad or angry about. and i believe this even more so when you lose someone that you know was also on the right side with God. and that is the case i am dealing with tonight....

around 945pm last night, frank and i were watching the end of a movie when we heard our front door open. we expected my brother and lindsey for a game of cards, but instead we were surprised by my dad and beth, in tears...

approximately 8:00pm last night, our dearest and most beloved Nani peacefully took her last breath, while safely tucked in the comfort of her bed at the erie county home at the age of 93. it had been a day like any other, with one small suspision...she was apologizing to all her nurses for being a "crabby old lady" recently. well for any of you who have had the pleasure to know Nani, you can probably laugh at the idea of her claiming to be crabby...it doesnt happen!

i have had the pleasure of being a part of Nani's life for about 8 years now and in these years i have learned so much about what it means to be a good, honest and pure person. i regret that i never put more time into hearing more stories directly from her about her life, the lessons shes learned and the experiences she has had. but i know, from the stories that i have heard that she was a beyond exceptional woman. she was a wonderful devoted wife, to a man that passed before i became a part of the family. but from what i have heard he was just as amazing. they were able to share life together for a few years more after celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary! that alone is such an accomplishment...50+ together years is something i pray for everyday.

Nani was a birth mother to 4, an adoptive mother 3 and a foster mom to over a 100 more over the years. she was a grandmother, a great grandmother and beyond that...a great great grandmother to 4, with two more on the way! now that is something to celebrate!

i cannot even begin to describe how much it means to me and frank that we have had the opportunity over the last 3 years to share our children with such an amazing woman. i know they may be to young to actually have memories of her, but we have pictures and that is more than enough. we will be able to tell them stories about their nani as they are growing up and keep her spirit alive through the pictures we have taken over the years. it makes me sad to know they wont remember her love like we will but its her love that will prove as an inspiration to us to love our kids more everyday, to love each other more everyday. Nani loved everyone, to everyone she was Nani...it was a true rarity for anyone to call her by her name, Carmella...which was actually even her middle name. i didnt know until more recently, her first name was Mary...but Nani just suited her so much better!

i could probably go on typing forever and ever. but i will stop here, ill keep it simple, because i know that is just the way Nani would have wanted it. she wasnt the fussing type, and thats just one more thing that was so admirable about her!

and the birthday continues...

we had originally planned on taking tuscan and the boys to chucke cheese for dinner on sunday, for his birthday dinner...but we sort of figured that a baseball game and chucke cheese, all in one day, on a day that no one took a nap...not a good idea! so it gave us a reason to stretch his birthday out just a little bit more and we took them on tuesday evening. it was a first time for all 3 of them and tuscan had a blast! the twins were much more intimidated by most of it. they didnt like things that moved to much or made to much noise, obviously they just dont get out often enough! tuscan had a blast in the overhead tunnel system though. he played up there more than he played any of the games! so frank and i got to play like kids for a bit and use up the tokens, then tuscan was more than excited to trade the tickets all in for candy!

on our way home tuscan had the opportunity to enjoy his first packet of pop rocks!! he thought they were pretty amazing...loved the noise they made everytime he opened his mouth...and i was so excited to be able to share with him one of my favorite childhood candies!

saturday was the big day though, the much anticipated bedroom delivery day! tuscan woke up saturday morning chanting a song about his new bed and a big truck. he was clearly extremely excited! so when the truck driver called and said they were 10 minutes away we were quick to put our shoes on and meet them in the driveway!

patiently watching the men put his bed together...

helping me put the dust ruffle and sheets on, because he was to impatient to wait till everything was in his room! (wonder where he gets that from? - me)

the bed all put together...the pics of the rest of the furniture will be posted at a later date, i want to get the thank you cards sent out first! so for many of you, watch your mailbox next week!

but he totally loves his new room, i totally love all the space i have to put his clothes away. seeing him sleeping in such a big bed is a constant reminder every night that he is growing up way to quickly. he is so far from being my baby boy now! but i am loving him more and more everyday...he is so amazing, sometimes i find it hard to believe that he is actually mine!

so thank you again to everyone who was able to join us at tuscan birthday party, and to those of you who also contributed to his new bedroom set. we are so grateful for the wonderful people in our lives who have blessed us beyond belief! we love you all!

happy birthday to tuscan!!

it is beyond hard for me to believe that three years ago from right now tuscan was just a little over an hour old, my body was shaking like crazy from using all my might to push out all 8lb 2oz of him and the epidural wearing off...i remember being so willing to let frank and our parents hold him so that i could finally eat the philly cheesesteak i had been craving all day! i will never forget the joy in my heart the first moment that i saw his chubby little cherub face and heard his newborn cry...

its the same joy i feel when i see his little face everyday! in the last three years he has become more amazing than i could have ever pictured a son to be. becoming a mother is something you can never really imagine until you are finally blessed enough to experience it. yes it has its tougher days, but those arent the days you remember. not to say you forget the fact that there were sleepless nights in the beginning, days when you wondered what to do next or even how to start the day...but you dont remember the details of those days...the details you remember are things like the first time they woke up from a nap and called out "momma" or the day the named their favorite blankie "Nie" or the first time you played in the grass, the first shopping trip, the first time they got to meet your best friend...its the look on their face every time they see you walk through the front door or opening their bedroom door to get them up from a nap. its the way they hug you and say "love you momma" and you just feel in your heart that they mean those words more than anyone else who has ever said them to you. there is nothing in this world that compares to the love shared between a mother and her child. and i feel so blessed everyday that i have been given a chance to feel that love, times three! i dont know what i ever did to deserve three adorable and beyond loving sons, but there must have been something good in my past at some point!

a new game!! yeah...

their first baseball game together...and it was just the two of them!



three candles, for three wishes, for a three year old boy!


and the sweet faces of his amazing little brothers!


can you guess who is who?

come on, leave me a comment, lets see if you can tell these boys apart yet!

so happy 3rd birthday to my baby boy...i love you so much tuscan and i am so proud to be the one that you call "mom" i hope the next 100 years of your life leave behind as many happy memories as the ones you have left this past 3 years. you are an amazing little boy, a wonderful big brother and one of the greatest sons a parent could ever ask for! ( i have to be careful how i word that...there are two more behind him that will one day know how to read!)