13 weeks... of pure thankfulness

ironicly i have hit the 13 week "safety" zone the same week as Thanksgiving!  crazy the things that will happen when you make that choice to leave life in the hands of God!!  and as im sure you can guess, i have millions of things to be thankful for this year...many of which come in fairly small packages.

    first and formorest i am thankful for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and for God our Father who have together made the life that i am living possible.  in so many ways, both big and small, my life would be nothing if it wasnt for the faith and belief i have and the relationship that i have developed with our Creator. 

    Secondly is your Nonna and Poppa, they have in so many ways guided your dad and i into this wonderful life we are living. they have taught us so many important things, from traditions, to patience and the pure essence of love and family!

    then there is your dad, life hasnt always been an easy road for us, but with love, determination and God by our sides we have made it through all of lifes fires and we are better people for it now that we are safely on the other side!  i know i am not always the easiest person to live with, and im sure as you are growing up there will be days when you completely agree, but your dad puts up with my 'craziness' with such love!  he certainly is my match made in heaven and with him we have been blessed by the gifts of you and your 3 brothers!

     and oh, your 3 brothers....where to even begin with them!  right now, they are my life...they make me laugh, cry, they make me angrier and happier in ways i would have never imagined!  tuscan so often forgets that he is one of the kids and not the 3rd parent.  matteo is so moody sometimes that we cant help but to call him "mini poppa" and vincenzo is such a sensitive little lover...three boys knitted together with the same blend of DNA and have all turned out to be such complete individuals.  it only makes me that much more anxious to meet you, my dear little one, to see who you will be and what your personality and interests will be!

and that brings me to you...making it safely to the 13 week mark is usually considered a good sign, a sign that you and i are both in this for the long haul.  in the past week you have developed fingerprints - a sure sign of your own individual identity!  you are nearly 3 inches long, about the size of a medium shrimp - the kind that are just too big for me to eat! and your little body is starting to catch up with the size of your head, making you look a bit more proportionate!  you have developed the ability to taste and smell, although im sure it will still be a while before you are using either of those senses!  but dont worry, i will try my best to eat the yummiest foods just incase you can taste whats being fed to you now!

i love you baby and i am so glad we are taking this journey together!

millions,

  ~ mommy

not the greatest of our pictures, but you get the point!

waist =  36 inches (we've grown an inch this week!)

 

12 weeks...one giant milestone behind us

i can not believe that i am already leaving the first trimester of this pregnancy behind me!  its such a bittersweet feeling.  in so many ways (all the ways i havent been feeling well) i am so grateful and knowing what the future has in store for me and my growing baby makes me excited to be entering the next step!  i am becoming very anxious to start feeling some real movements, to lay in bed at night and see my belly bouncing around, to have the boys tell you stories so their voices are familiar to you when you finally join us on this side!  but it also saddens me because i know i am saying goodbye to the first step of something i love so dearly.  sick or not, i LOVE being pregnant!  it is such a wonderful feeling - its not everyday you are blessed enough to have a miracle actually growing inside of you, and for that very reason, i try very hard everyday to savor at least one moment alone with you baby.  for i know that our personal, one on one time together is going to pass by all too quickly and that soon enough i will be sharing you with everyone around us!  i know, selfish...but what can i say, right now you really are all mine!

they say that right now you are about the size of a lime...its amazing to me how much you have grown in such a sort time!  you kidneys have started to function, as well as your pancreas and liver.  your brain has obtained its basic structure and will continue to grow and develop.  and your tiny little body is nearly covered in fine baby fuzz (they say it should be transparent, but that hasnt been the case with any of your brothers, so we'll see if it holds true for you or not!)

i have been having equally good and bad days, which i guess is a good thing.  but even on the good days, the exhaustion sets in pretty heavily.  my mood swings still have some out of control moments, moments that leave me disappointed in myself - i try not to be to hard on myself, i know that hormones and lack of sleep have a lot to do with who i am much of the time.  but there are nights after your brothers go to bed that i sit back and reflect on the last 45 mniutes of the day and im not always proud of the way it ended.  i am grateful to be forgiven and to be given the chance to try for a better tomorrow, but it isnt always that easy!  and with the hormones being an issue, sometimes i just want to cry!  one of my biggest wishes is that you and your brothers all grow up and remember me as being the best mom i could be.  i love you all from the depths of my soul and all i want is the best for each of you.  you are my angels, entrusted to me from God, a blessing that not everyone is given in their lifetime and i never want to let a day go by where i may have taken that for granted.  you are my life, my everything and for you i just want to be my best!

baby, i love you and your brothers with all my heart, forever and always....

millions,

  ~ mommy

my baby bump sure is growing!!

waist = 35 inches

11 weeks...a beautiful sound!

well, we had our second doctors appointment today and it was a wonderful visit!!  not only did i find out that i have actually lost 3 pounds since i was last there (4 weeks ago) thanks to my 4 weeks of nausea and indigestion but we were blessed with the opportunity to hear your tiny heart beating!  160 beats per minute and it was such a beautiful sound.  your littlest big brothers were there with us and when i looked over at them once the doctor found your heart beat, it took everything in me not to burst into tears!  even your brothers looked totally amazed at what they were hearing! 

our doctor does feel 100% certain that there is only one of you growing in there, so that was a nice piece of mind! not that we would object to another set of twins, but knowing there is only one baby gives us a certain sense of peace.  it means that although we will be welcoming a new member into our family, other things wont have to change, like the kind of vehicle we drive or sleeping arrangements within our house!

with a party planned for this weekend and a houseful of guests on their way, i was overly excited to get the nursery cleaned up a bit today and get the brand new crib out of its box!  we really lucked out with our baby #4 planning and ended up with a nice handful of brand new baby gear.  when your brothers were nearly ready for their toddler beds, we were notified of a recall on the crib we had originally purchased, we acted on the recall and were given the ability to replace our crib for a very minimal cost!  so now you baby, get a brand new crib!  in addition to a brand new stroller because of defective parts in the one we had for matteo and vincenzo and even a new baby monitor, because the one we had prior to you came close to burning our house down!  what can i say, we are truly blessed and in so many ways God continues to have wonderful plans for us!

You, my little dear, are about an inch and a half long now - comparable in size to a fig! your teeth buds are starting to form and your bones are hardening.  your hands will soon be opening and closing to form tiny fists, which i am sure you will have no problem using to give me little jabs in the ribs as you get bigger!  although i still have at least 4-6 weeks before i can hope to really feel you moving in my belly! 

i am feeling a little bit better everyday and that in itself is a blessing!  the better i feel, the better i can care for the both of us and your brothers and even your dad. you will be entering this life into a wonderful loving family baby and we are all so excited to meet you!  keep growing, stay healthy and know that we all love every inch of you!

millions...

   ~mommy

waist = 35 inches

weight = 130lbs...according to the dr.'s office

10 weeks - almost there...

almost to the end of the first trimester that is!  crazy how quickly time is flying by!  although many of my days still seem to take an eternity because i am often not feeling well.  the nausea has subsided quite a bit, unless im having severe "other" issues, then that in itself makes my whole being not feel well.  so i sit here eating grapes, drinking water, hoping and praying that something, anything will help my body remember that it needs to take just as good care of itself as it does you!

many comments have been made lately in regards to the possibility that there could be more than one of you rapidly growing inside me!  although at 7 weeks, that didnt seem to be the case, i have to say until our next sonogram i am staying open minded to the idea!!  what a crazy blessing that would be, to be the mother of not one, but two sets of twins!  God sure would have my fully undivided attention after that!  i dont think i would be able to survive a second of multiples without him by my side!

and you my little baby, have been quite productive this week!!  you are nearly the size of a kumquat - about an inch or so in length from the top of your head to the end of your little bottom.  you weigh less than a quarter ounce and the most critical portion of your development is nearly complete!  from here on out you will just be growing and growing and growing! and your body will be figuring out how it works, how to use all its important parts, like your kidneys and your liver.  your fingers and toes arent webbed-like anymore.  you are starting to develop tiny little nails and some "peach"-fuzz is beginning to cover your soft sweet skin.  just a warning, if you are anything like your brothers were, that peach-fuzz wont be so peachy...it will be more like baby gorilla hair!  :)  your arms and legs are starting to bend and your head is about half the length of your body!  amazing, already you completely amaze me!

thankfully my uterus is apparently measuring about the size of a grapefruit this week.  knowing that makes me feel a little better about the fact that my clothes are shrinking and the maternity bin will be pulled out of the crawl space sooner than i expected!  i've definitely regained a bit of my energy and my appetite, both of which have their down sides. my moodswings seem to have calmed a bit too, now my crabby nights just seem normal, not hormone induced! 

a few more weeks and we will be blessed with the chance to see your tiny body and beating heart on the monitor and i cant wait!  a few more days and we should have a chance to hear your heart beating - just the thought makes my heart race a little!! 

i love you millions baby,

   ~ mommy

waist = 34 3/4 inches

weight =