what a wonderful morning...

it may have been short lived, but i had a great morning with tuscan today...when we all got out of bed this morning we realized we were almost out of milk and only had enough formula to get us through today (2 quarts) so we ate breakfast and then tuscan and i headed out for some "me and mommy" time together. we only had an hour, but it sure was fulfilling. we went to tops, got the essentials, ran to target for some baby food (that was marked down!! - gotta love it) and he got a box of fruit loops, his only request, how could i say no...he was chatting away with the lady cashing us out about the "monsters" that were hanging all over the store for halloween. then because he was such a good boy, we spent our last 10 minutes together at starbucks, me sipping a chai and him chugging his hot chocolate! crazy kid, im not even exaggerating when i say his hot chocolate was gone in 2.5 minutes!! then he liked his lips, said "mmm..good" and waved to the ladies ("bye ladies" - in tuscan voice) and we we're home just in time for frank to leave for work.

i also was able to pay off two of our credit cards this morning - major accomplishment, they will be cancled tomorrow as soon as payment posts. the twins just went down for their nap, tuscan and i are off to eat some lunch (peanut butter and fluff sandwiches!!) and when everyone gets up i think we're going to take a walk to the bank.

i got some good news yesterday - hopefully anyway - we might be able to get our camera fixed for about $30. one of the guys frank works with said his mom might be able to get it fixed for us, she is the manager or something over at stereo advantage...so hopefully we will get a break on that one - because who seriously has $100+ laying around to just unexpectedly buy a new camera?? not me! im trying to pay off our debts, not create more...but with 3 adorable and amazing kids, not having a camera is like not having food in the house!! its a necessity in our life right now! replacing that would be more urgent then getting a new appliance!! so we'll see what happens...

jess came over last night for our thursday night ritual...i gave her a new hairstyle...bangs!! she looks amazing, of course...so the next chance we get we are going to put some real dark chestnutty low lights in her hair. hopefully she will be my walking model and i can start doing more hair at home - it would be a great way to make some extra money while doing something i have always truly enjoyed. (anyone need a haircut?? color??)

second color in the living room is complete, as of yesterday morning. so that was a big stress reliever...tomorrow when i get home from work i plan to start (and maybe complete depending on how many coats it takes) the 3rd color in the livingroom...then we just have to touch up a few spots on the ceiling and the living room will be done, well at least as done as its going to be for now... new carpet and baseboards is something for the future.

oh and i forgot to post about this last week...we got an amazing deal at our neighbors garage sale last weekend...a deal that we just couldnt pass up! i would love to post a picture, but i cant take one! anyway, a big screen hitachi tv (not flat screen but still, its huge and its hdtv compatible, engerystar) and sony surround sound in amazing condition for...are you ready??....$200!!! its franks christmas/birthday present, a few months early and we are super excited about it. it was just what we needed to complete our new livingroom. it was something we planned to get sometime in the very far future because we new we couldnt afford it right now....but for $200, there was no way we could pass that up!! so anyway...off to eat lunch with hopes that the rest of my day is as good as my morning was!!

love to all...

much better day....

after a long talk with frank last night, we were both able to get a few things off our chest. i think he now has a better understanding of where im coming from when i have days like yesterday. and i think i have a little more patients for his - well him just being him. he said he doesnt understand why he hasnt figured out a routine for himself and the kids at home because he is so good at being organized and having things under control at work. so i think he understands and realized that its an area he needs to work on. and for the whole 2 hours that he was home today, i saw an improvement. i think yesterday was just one of those days when life got the best of us, weeks of barely seeing each other and lack of communitcation in those weeks just took a turn for the worse and we were lost with each other. we forgot how to interact together as a team and we were at each others throats all day.
it gets hard sometimes, really hard, because more often than not i live my life like a single mom would. i am 75% mom, 20% starbucks barista and 5% wife - i hate that thats my ratio but thats where life is at right now. frank and i maybe spend 10 hours a week together so when we have to spend a whole day together, we sometimes forget how!! he has his morning thing that he does with the kids (consistant or not) and i have my whole day...trying to mesh the two of them together while keeping everyone happy can sometimes be a challange - thats where we were at yesterday. but by the end of the night my blood pressure was back down into normal range and i was snuggled closely in franks arms when we went to bed - a good ending to a horrible day.

i never would have thought that being a "stay at home" mom would get so lonely, if it wasnt for my job 20 hours a week, i would lose my mind!! i love my kids more than anything but i would love them so much more if i actually had the time to enjoy them and someone around more often to share them with. parenting was meant for two people and it sure is hard when your the one doing it 12 hours a day by your self. frank is an amazing dad when he is around but his job doesnt allow for that very often and even though i know there is nothing we can do about it, its still hard. i know he would never chose for it to be this way, but i just miss him. days can go by without us having a real conversation about anything of importance. and certain things will come up that i sware i told him about, but in all honesty, i may not have because i just havent seen him. this life was easier when it was just us, no kids, and when i had more friends around me to spend my time with, but trying to find friends who want to venture out of the house with you and your 3 kids, not easy...i can barely find family who wants to participate in that one...so im here everyday, so grateful for those i do have to "hang out with" via the internet! you guys are my saviors some days and i want you to know how much i value our friendships. you help keep me grounded somedays and you remind me that im not alone in this venture of life!!
i have a lot of fun and exciting things coming up in the next few weeks, things that will help me feel like "shannon" again and not just mom...i love being mom, but i miss being shannon...so off i go to end my evening as mom with hopes of finding an hour before i passout to spend scrapbooking as shannon! love to all and many thanks to all of you who let me vent so openly - i really need to get frank on the internet more often so he also has more insight as to what goes through my mind on a daily basis!!

i just cant explain it...

please dont judge me or read into this to much, but i am having a horrible day and just need to vent in a way that no one will get mad, take it to personally or fight back.

i woke up today with great plans, prime the dinning room, paint the living room and then paint the dinning room after the kids go to bed...right, i think i should have ended that dream as soon as i put my feet on the bedroom floor! we did accomplish a lot, but not nearly enough and i am very angry about it for some reason.

the kids are all in bed, without a problem tonight...i should so be painting away at the livingroom walls right now, between me and frank we could have the living completed in two hours. it really wouldnt be a big deal, but i am so aggrivated with him tonight that i dont even want to try to pretend that i am having fun doing a house project with him. so that is just making me even more angry - i am in to bad a mood to paint and thats putting me in a worse mood because i am waisting time instead.

i think the real bad mood stems back to last night when my camera fell off the kitchen table and broke - again...i just got this camera in april because my last one fell off the kitchen counter at my parents and broke. this one wont turn on at all, canon wants either $150 for a refurbished upgraded model of the one i have or a minimum of $99 to try and fix it... what the @*&#!!!!!!!!!! i am so pissed..i only spent $100 on it the first time around, but now that its the upgraded model of this one, its another $50...i have to call them and see if there are any other options, because none of those are going to work for me...but i think the phone call should wait until im in a better mood.

anyway, we did get the last wall of the livingroom and going up the stairs primed today, so thats ready to paint and 3 walls of the dinning room are primed, two of which need one more coat (raw drywall, it needs a little extra love) so i think for sure i will meet my original goal date of nov 13th completion, but i was really hoping for oct 25th because mandy will be in town and i would have loved to show her a finished house!! she was here in july right before it all started, so it would have been exciting...but i need to be realistic.

oh, but back to the venting...do any of you ever have days when you wish you could pause your real life and live your dream life, even if only for a few minutes. im not even sure what my dream life would consist of because 98% of the time i love my life just the way it is. but sometimes there are days when enough is enough and i just want it to end. everything bugs me, nothing is going right and for what ever reason there only seems to be effort from others at making it worse.
my kids were great today, i cant recall a single moment when they actually got on my nerves. my husband on the other hand, i wish he would have been at work all day!! frank and i are so accustomed to not seeing each other often that sometimes when we spend a whole day together, its almost like we dont know how to communicate. i have such a set schedule with the kids, and he knows it, he's here twice a week to live it with me, but for whatever reason he thought he would just follow his own schedule today instead of the one they are used to....that is a set up for disaster in this house. then while he was trying to help me get stuff done, he did things that were not very smart...leaving pliers and hammers and screws on the floor, which the babies of course found and wanted to play with...and he wondered why i was so upset about it! to me pure laziness, if u want to help me dont be half assed about it...and the one that totally killed any chance of forgivenness tonight...matteo was overtired and being silly at bed time, so instead of taking the time to give him the undivided attention he was obviously craving, frank took the easy way out and put him in his bed with a bottle. that was it for me - we learned the hard way about bottles and babies at bed time with tuscan, it is not something we do in this house anymore and it made me so mad that he would deliberately do something that he knows i am not ok with, something that could totally ruin the bedtime routine i have set up with the kids to keep my life simpler and lower on the stress level. it was like a huge slap in the face to me, i have spent months getting to where we are today and he doesnt even care enough to spend 5 more minutes of his effort to keep everyones lives easier....aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im sorry, i totally understand if u have already stopped reading by this point. but i had to get it out - sadly, i dont think i feel any better!
tomorrows another day - but im not even looking forward to it - i wish i had to work!

nap time = better afternoon!!

thankfully my day wasnt quite as traumatic once the kids all woke up from their much needed naps. tuscan spent the night at our parents house last night and i cant help but think that he didnt get much sleep, cuz man oh man, he sure was cranky today! but his spirits seemed much better when he got up and we made a "deal" and even shook on it. the deal was if he was a good boy and ate a good dinner, we would make peanut butter cookies together! so low and behold, he ate an amazing dinner and asked for more several times! we had a homemade turkey pot pie that was leftover in the fridge and he kept asking for more corn, potatoes and turkey! so i kept digging through the pie until i could find what he wanted - unfortunately for frank, the piece that was left for him doesnt look much like a piece anymore...its sort of chopped up already!!

so to keep my side of the deal, we pulled up tuscan's cooking chair and got to work. he did a great job pouring all the ingredients into the bowl, but an even better job at licking the spatula when we were all done!! and i must say, our cookies are amazing!! crunchy peanut butter, peanut butter chips, chocolate chips and white chocolate chips (only because i didnt have enough of any of them!!) but it is the perfect combination! when they were all done, me and the 3 boys sat in the middle of the kitchen floor and shared a few of the warm cookies and ended our night with the normal routine - watching curious george!!

that is a face of someone hard at work, creating a masterpiece!! (he's a better baker than frank!!)

"just checking things out!"

"those cookies sure smell good!"

when it rains, it pours... (this blog entry is not intended for the weak stomached)

or in my case, when they poop, its a massive blow out!! fed all the kids lunch today and decided to use their snack time to vacuum and wet swiffer a few of the floors...it was about 15 minutes in all that the twins were sitting in the high chairs with their sippy of juice and some puffs on their tray. they were starting to get fussy so i decided to wrap up the cleaning for the afternoon and tend to their needs! well little did i know that matteo's needs were creaping up his back every second that he was sitting on his butt. by the time i picked him up there was a smooshy wet spot half way up the back of his shirt! so i got him and cenzo upstairs - who also smelled like poop - with tuscan trailing up the stairs behind us. i felt like a poop parade! matteo went straight into the tub, which he did not enjoy very much - no water + bath tub = very cold!! i stripped him down, thankfully without spreading this surprise all over the rest of his body...wiped him down best i could with 3 wipes and then sat him in the now warm water and rinsed and rinsed and rinsed...then washed him all up! got him dressed, meanwhile tuscan and vincenzo are playing together in cenzo's crib (i think its tuscans way of trying to connect on his brother's level!) then it was cenzo's turn for a new diaper and i was off to rinse out matteo's shirt (i contemplated putting it right in the trash with his diaper, but it was a shirt that i actually really liked!) rinsed out the stink, scrubbed out the tub and then tuscan walks up to me to tell me that he has a poopy diaper too! aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate dirty diapers!! i think i might start picketing outside my house with signs that say "no more poopy diapers" "poop on the potty!" i dont know how effective i will be and the neighbors might think im nuts, but im not sure how much more of this i can stomach. i can still taste it in the back of my throat - thats how the smell is stuck with me!
i am so sorry to write about this, as i am sure none of you really wanted to know, but this was my therapy session for the afternoon, the only way i knew how to deal with this past hour of my life. all my mom friends, especially those who have more than one poop machine, im sure u can all relate and are probably laughing at a similar experience that u had in the past or that you fear for the future!! so i thank you, for letting me vent...
and i must go, continue on with whatever my day may bring!
oh and im having major hair issues this week, i have been cutting more and more bangs everyday, trying to get them right and now i feel like i dont want them at all - but i dont really have a choice anymore, unless of course i cut the rest of my hair really short (like jon and kate plus 8 kate short) or for those of you who have known me long enough, like way back when when my hair was short and kind of spiky...do i dare?? or do i just shorten the bob and let the stupid bangs grow back in?? i have no idea - opinions please!!

boycotting baby food...

and moving on to bigger and better!! or wanting to anyway. the twins are starting to realize, now that they have teeth (matteo almost 5, vincenzo almost 6) that there is a lot of food out there that tastes way better than baby food!! tonight for instance...they were screaming at me for bites of my burrito...rice, shredded pork, beans, lettuce and salsa on a whole wheat tortilla, and they were loving it!! they had the biggest grins on their faces every time they took a bite!
after dinner i had the luxury of putting them in their stroller and taking them for a nice walk around the block! tuscan, to my surprise, got picked up by "nonna" on her way home from work and is spending the night there, so here i am - blogging, after playing a stupid computer game for a few minutes and catching up on some facebook gossip...when i could be doing something way better, like painting or even scrapbooking!! maybe that will come next!
but it was a nice night, only having two of the kids here. i was really able to spend some quality time with the twins. they are becoming very smart little boys recently and i have really been enjoying the moments when i actually get to play with them. they have recently realized the concept of playing cars and we "race" them back and forth...they are also starting to understand how to play catch... nights when i get to play toys with all 3 of the boys are fun, but i love moments when i get to love each child as an individual without having to immediately divide my attention between the other two. my boys are all so amazing and all in their own little ways! i am a very lucky mom and i feel so blessed everyday for all that i have in my life! now if only the world in which we live could become a more positive place, i may be able to find a way to enjoy life 110% - but what are the odds of that happening any time soon!?? i believe that God has a plan and i pray that part of His plan is to give me the strength to get through whatever it is thats coming. the world is a scary place right now and i just want to be able to provide for my family and keep everyone healthy. God, please bless America!

the reasons why...

i havent blogged much again this week, but there is good reason behind it! we have completed two areas in our house this week!! yeah...finally i can say one whole room is complete (aside from the closet organizer) so here's some pics of what we have recently accomplished...

the foyer...

the front half of the living room!

the twins also got their first hair cuts on friday...it was about time to trim off the comb over...it wasnt curling into a tidal wave nearly as cute after their baths anymore, so i decided to let go and let them become little boys - they will be a year old next month already!!

they were both very good about it, but also very curious!! and yes i saved some hair...have to put it in their scrapbooks - some day when i find the time to scrapbook again (like every night you are here kellie!! we will go through a lot of wine and be very successful scrappers!)

it doesnt seem like much, but it has kept us very busy...this weeks big plan, priming the second section of the livingroom and maybe the dinning room - while we have the primer on the roller! stay tuned!

in syracuse...

ok, so here i am out of town for the night and im actually finding time to blog!! amazing the things you can do without kids around. so here's whats been accomplished today...
i left the house at 820am...stoppped at starbucks and got my grande soy no whip 3 pump white mocha with caramel drizzle on top. got on the thruway by 845...
stopped at the outlet mall in waterloo to get some winter jammies for the babies - i had a 25% off coupon for carters...and yes i did stop in the children's place, was tempted..but resisted! and by 1055am i was headed for the northern lights plaza where i was meeting kelly at the christmas tree shops ( www.christmastreeshops.com ) awesome store, i love it!! got all the paperware for the twins bday party out of the way...then we grabbed some lunch and got really great pedicures...and they were only $25!! the best part was that while your nails are drying, they come over with a hot towel and massage your shoulders! it was awesome...something i havent done since last summer when my parents got married! i was over due!
then we stopped at starbucks, for my round 2...i had to use my treat receipt!! im never out of the house after 2, so i have never had a chance to use one before...stopped at wegmans for shower last minutes (lunch meat and cheese) and came home to finish preparing.
since arriving home we have rolled 25 ham and cheese roll-ups and 25 beef and cheese roll-ups, finished the shower favors, i painted wooden signs for the baby's nursery, we re-arranged furniture for tomorrow...its been a pretty busy day!! but awesome, lots of chatting, reminiscing...just really great girl time for both of us.
and i have heard that my parents had a great day with the kids. beth said they are like clock work and everything happened exactly when i told her it would!! good news...maybe it means they would be willing to do it again (like on oct 25th when mandy is in town??) anyhow...tomorrow will be fun, the whole weekend will go by way to fast, but its nice to know that i will see kelly again on oct 26th for my lia sophia party (her aunt is the consultant) and again the week that kellie is in town, we are already planning a day up here whether the baby is born yet or not..(keeping our fingers crossed that "he" is...)
pics to follow of pedicures and other shower weekend festivities!

painting, painting, painting...

i apologize, i havent blogged in a while, again! but i have been very busy, painting!! i can now say that the foyer closet is complete, as well as the front half of the livingroom....finally - something is complete!! my dear friend andrea came over last night and helped me get the second coat of keoki coffee on the walls in the livingroom. with her help we were able to get it done in an hour!! amazing timing i must say...then i finished the trim and crown moulding when i got home this morning. i painted the closet during nap time and tonight i might work on scraping off some more border...but we'll see how much energy i actually have after i type this blog!! it might turn into a a bowl of popcorn and movie kind of night, something i havent done much of recently! i promise to post some pics of the livingroom after i get the mess cleaned up!

i have recently received some amazing news too...not only am i going to spend this weekend in syracuse for kelly's baby shower, but mandy is flying up from florida for a weekend at the end of october and there are already plans in the making for a girls night that weekend!! i am super excited!! and kellie is flying in from colorado on the twins 1st bday to spend 8 days with us!!!!!!!! i cant wait - it has been a year and a half since we last saw each other...i cannot wait to spend a whole week with her!! and how amazing that she gets to meet the twins for the first time on their first birthday!! i dont know if she will ever understand how absolutely amazing that is to me!! and the best part is, the whole week was a big surprise for her! obviously she knows now...but i knew about it long before she did - the date just hadnt been set in stone until recently. we are planning on taking a drive up to syracuse while she is here, really really hoping that kelly will have had the baby by then, but otherwise just to hang out with kelly for a day. kellie and kelly have only met once, the week of my wedding, but over the years through me and the internet they seem to have developed quite the relationship! so it will be fun to spend a day with both my kelly-ie's!

so many things to look forward to in the next few months! i just hope i can have most of this work done around here so i can really feel comfortable relaxing and enjoying the mere moments that i'll have with some of the most important girls in my life!

nothing much else new around here...the boys are good, getting more bumps and bruises everyday as they try to become more and more adventerous. frank has been spending a lot of time in the yard this week trying to get things cleaned up for fall. we have spent a lot of time picking apples and pruning those trees...hopefully soon when the temps drop we will have a day to devote to pie baking!

heres a few recent pics of the kids, incase you forgot what they look like!!

a very happy mr. matteo!

a big mouthed grin from mr. cenzo!
sexy italian boys showing off their baby bodies!! and vincenzo's amazing standing abilites!

and the biggest stud of them all, tuscan -

with his hair all done and his nice shirt on for uncle dom's wedding!!

summer is over...

so we went on our vacation...it was a vacation...it was nice to get away.
the construction was 98% done when we got home, so that was even better!! now we just have a lot of painting to do...but thats the fun part, when we can find the time!
the twins went to their 9 month dr. appt on the 2nd.... vincenzo weighs 20lbs...and matteo weighs 19, but he also had a temp of 103! not good, we were relating it to teething at first, it started on sunday and was that high by tuesday, so we knew something was wrong. they tried, unsuccessfully to draw blood at the dr. office and ended up sending him home with a script for motrin. he took the motrin around the clock and by wed morning his temp was even higher. back to the dr. we went and from there they ended up sending us to the hospital because his temp had gotten up to 104.6 - very scary, especially since he hadnt been showing signs of anything...no ear infection, no sinus infection...nothing. i spent the day with him in the hospital, beth spent the evening so i could go home and take care of tuscan and cenzo and then when frank got out of work he went up and spent the night. by thursday morning matteo had broken out in a rash and the fever dropped immediately. apparently he had roseola...we were very grateful that it ended up being something diagnosable before we had to run anymore tests and by friday at his follow up appt. he was given a clean bill of health, so thanks to those of you who were praying for us....needless to say it was a very stressful way to spend our first week home from vacation!
im happy to be back to work, i actually missed it, a lot!! and frank was able to admit the same thing! we have gotten the new closet in the new foyer primed, but thats about it so far.
matteo has 3 teeth, cenzo has 4...they have started stage 3 baby food and they arent sure whether or not they like the chunks!!
my brother in law dom got married on labor day (my dad and beths 1st anniversary) we had our parents over on the 7th for dinner - happy grandparents day!! and today vincenzo decided to climb up a stair...looking at me the whole time with a look on his face that said he knew he was doing something he shouldnt be! that i am not ready for yet!! crawling is one thing, but they all need to stay in the same room!
thats all for now, time to get the little ones to bed - hopefully i will be able to get back on track now that the craziest month of my year is over!