its all about me...

well not me in a selfish way, just me in an attitude way. i am starting to notice that my days turn out much differently based on my attitude and how i handle certain situations. on the days i feel i have lost complete control (of my children) are the days i need to take a step back and reevaluate myself and my behavior. if my kids are off the wall then im probably not at my best either...so instead of getting angry with them, i need to settle on the idea of us all taking a short time out.

life is so much easier when you arent angry all the time. but its sometimes easier said than done. i am going to try and live this month with the positive influence of one of my best friends who seems to have used this technique to turn her own life around. i am going to try and wake up everyday with a positive thought and goal for the outcome of my day. this week has been wonderful and i want more than anything for it to continue through the weekend.

i also want to end each day with a reading from my bible. i have had so many struggles in life recently, so many days where im not sure i can continue this way...but everytime i pick up my bible i read exactly what my heart needs to hear, so i guess its something i should do more often. its much easier to read things that lead to the positive in life then it is to dwell on the negative.

so wish me luck for a positive start to this new season in life...and summer of course!

have a great weekend everyone!

my boys...are crazy!!

we attempted to go to the zoo today, but with it being the end of the school year and pretty nice out the parking lot was way to packed and apparently the area was preparing for the corporate challenge, so we turned around and headed to the park instead! who knew that a playground could be way more exciting that the zoo...i honestly think tuscan was more excited about the day ahead when we told him plans had changed...the twins didnt care, they were sleeping in the backseat already!




well the silliness continued after bathtime tonight...its times like these that i truly feel like the most blessed woman ever! my boys, as rotten as they may seem sometimes, are awesome! i love them to pieces and i love little moments like tonight that remind me how amazingly lucky i am to be their mother.

even taenato wanted to be a part of the super cute boy action shots tonight...!

its june - already?!?!

so for the month of june i am going to try and post everyday...even if its just a one liner! i know its been awhile, again, since my last post. i will try and bring everyone up to speed - not that you have really missed much, which could be why i havent posted!

we spent memorial day at darien lake with matt, bridget and the kids! that was a ton of fun...considering we spent the whole day in kiddie land! but i guess at this point in our lives, its all for the kids! we started the day off in the water park. tuscan had a blast dispite the fact that the water felt like there were ice cubes floating in it! the twins on the other hand were terrified. they clung on to me and bridget like their lives depended on it, like they would melt if they got wet! i couldnt blame them though, that water was way to cold for me! tuscan was an animal though, i cant even tell you how many times he went down the water slides! then we headed over to kiddie land, the kids had a ton of fun over there...even the twins enjoyed themselves on a few rides, accompanied by yours truly of course, frank isnt so much a fan of the circular rides! we picnic'd in the parking lot with delicious pasta salad, compliments to frank and some wegmans subs! and then we were back in for a few more kids rides...the motorcycles, the kiddie bumper cars and the ladybug rollercoaster - tuscan braved it, but didnt enjoy it. he was tough, there werent any tears but he was scared and not at all interested in going on it again!

last weekend we had a yard sale. i cant exactly say it was fun, but the weather did hold out for us and we did get rid of a ton of junk! i think my profits by the end of the weekend were somewhere around $175...not bad, its more than i bring home in an average week! what we didnt sell went right into the back of my dads truck and was dropped off at the church for their annual yard sale! so i think i can proudly say my house is currently junk free! strangely it doesnt seem any more organized though - but one step at a time i guess...

this past sunday our dear friends, matt and bridget (i swear they arent our only friends, just our only friends with kids that live near us!) but anyway, they were blessed by the birth of their baby girl! they have gracefully entered the family of 5 club...they have two other sons, zach 11 and chase almost 3. Ava Marie made a pretty quick enterance into our world about 40 minutes after bridget and matt got to the hospital, weighing 7lb 1oz with a full head of hair and chubby cheeks on her precious face! i was fortunate to be their first at home visitor yesterday shortly after they returned home from the hospital! and of course i was more than excited about the invitation and an opportunity to surprise them with some baby girl clothes! it was wonderful to hold such a tiny little baby again...and especially one wearing pink! she is gorgeous! they are truly blessed and we are so happy for them.

we also took a trip to the southern tier and had dessert at aunt millies - a little diner that is becoming a favorite place for us to take a nice drive to. they have the most amazing homemade desserts in the world and although this trip they were out of two of the things we wanted to get, we all still left pretty happy....but mostly Cenzo - he loved his brownie so much that he felt he needed to lick his plate clean!

i have taken up bike riding...i have not rode a bike in about 7 or so years, since before we lived in CO because i left my bike here when we moved. well believe it or not, that bike...my huffy from toys r us for my 12th birthday was still in the basement looking better than brand new! and i have started riding it around the neighborhood. i would love to think that by mid-summer i will have worked myself up to riding it to work for my later in the day shifts (not a fan of riding it in the dark at 430 am) so we'll see. i also have some goals towards losing a few pounds that i havent been able to shed since my precious babies entered the world....a year and a half ago! so wish me luck!

last night we took the kids to red robin for dinner. i had some coupons for free kids meals and free bottomless beverages (non alcoholic of course!) so for a family of 5 to have dinner and share a dessert it cost us less than $30!! awesome. but what was even more awesome was the fact that two seperate sets of people approached us at our table on their way out to tell us how adorable and well behaved our children are! commenting that they usually get so annoyed in resturants when there are little kids because the kids are usually fussing and yelling and just wanted to be sure to let us know we are doing a wonderful job and our children are very impressive! i have to say, it is so nice to hear stuff like that from complete strangers because there are certainly days when i feel like my kids are completely awful and i am doing a horrible job as a mom, i wonder what God was thinking when he chose me for these adorable little boys!

frank and i took the kids to the playground up the street today. i didnt have my camera on me because i rode my bike. but they had a ton of fun. it was the first time the twins have ever played on a playground and they just thought the slides were the greatest thing ever. they werent as excited about the swings but they'll get there!

we have recently been trying out some new recipes - healthy eating for a healthy digestive track - one of which i discovered on a favorite blog of mine...but its for these amazing pancakes! if you are interested, let me know and ill send you the link. i have also been experimenting with healthier ways to make belgian waffles. recently i added minced apples (tiny so the kids wouldnt feel them, they dont like fruit in the waffles/pancakes) cinnamon, flaxseeds and once i poured them into the pan i sprinkled oats on top! they were amazing, you should try them!

tuscan and matteo both got haircuts tonight...cenzo and frank are on the list for tomorrow! but for the first time i have finally given tuscan a real big boy haircut! a #1 fade...just like franks! he looks so grown up and handsome...and he loves it, he loves how soft the back of his head is now! it was so weird for me to because in so many ways i felt like i was cutting my little brothers hair. their hair lines are so similar, their hair texture is almost the same...even the color at this length looks pretty close! my little man...so grown up at just 3 years old...

ok, i guess maybe you have missed alot...tomorrow i wil not only post for the day but i will also post something for the first 2 days of the month that i have missed. i have a few pics that i want to share with you! (mandy one of them is going to be for lucia!)

and with that i am headed to the couch for a glass of wine and movie with my husband. be back in a day - i promise!

my sensitive boy...

as the baby of the family, i think he is trying to tell me that he would be a really good big brother! cenzo somehow managed to get one of my childhood dolls up from the basement and has been carrying her around. he loves her like she is a real baby...well except for the times he drops her to go play with something else! but its to cute and i love the way he and matteo both say "baby" in their sweetest ever voices! they are too cute!

oh and dont worry, this isnt training for anything that we have coming up...not soon anyway! but we should ever be so lucky to have a baby girl some day!

thank you lucia!

tuscan loves getting the mail and opening it, even if it isnt for him! and his birthday conditioned him into believing that anything he gets in the mail will have money in it...if it doesnt then he doesnt really care whats inside. unless of course its something from lucia! then he gets all excited and cant wait to see what it is, no matter what size the package is.

the two of them have developed quite the relationship over the last several months, sending back and forth pictures of themselves, pictures they have drawn for each other...for tuscan's birthday she sent him a new book...smiley shark - its super cute and she also included some handmade drawings that he has insisted on hanging near his fish tank, there was a lobster, a fish and an octopus...all created out of lucia's hand and foot prints!

so "thanks chila" with much love from tuscan!

my first and very own...

NOT ME MONDAY!!

so here i go, its my first attempt at a not me monday posting...i enjoy reading the ones posted by others but was never sure i could do it myself...but with the day i had today i think a "not me" is the only way to post about it!

i absolutely did not suggest we pack the boys up and take an impromptu trip to the zoo at 9am this morning. doesnt sound like a bad idea, except for the fact that i thought it would be a really great way to avoid making any/cleaning any messes around the house today! and fortunately everyone had a blast. although i did not promise Tuscan that the next time we go Lucia would be going with us, and they could ride the train and the merry go round together and maybe even play in the sand pit...nope, not me, i didnt say that! (mandy you should maybe send her up here a few weeks sooner!)

i did not take the lazy way out of life today, in prepration for the afternoon i was anticipating, and take a nap while the boys were napping. i would never do that, i am super mom! (thank goodness i really did though, cuz boy oh boy, was it an afternoon!)

i also did not make mac-n-cheese and sausage for dinner, only because i knew it was easier than cooking something the boys werent going to eat. no one feels good, so when all else fails, make them the easiest dinner you know they will love no matter how poor its nutritional value is!

i did not ban taenato from coming in the house because he had poop on his paw and i was to frazzled to deal with it, i wouldnt do that - its almost animal cruelty! but maybe i did do that because maybe i thought he deserved it after all the messes he has made in the house the last few days. he isnt feeling well and has been making us very aware of that since we woke up saturday morning, right before the funeral when we had to scrub the carpet, the kitchen floor and the bathroom floor because he had gotten sick apparently 10 times during the night. then he got sick during the night again last night and while we were at the zoo this morning...

i certainly did not and never would put my kids in the bathtub with the intent of using the time to get things done upstairs. kids in a tub dont make messes around the house! but i wouldnt have been doing things like scrubbing the mess on the carpet from while we were at the zoo...or running up and down the stairs twelve times to check on the kids in the tub, to find that not only did tarzan decide the dinning room floor was a great place to poop while i was bathing the babes but i was also finishing up the transaction with the roofers who stopped by at a not so great time. none of these thing are things i ever would have done.

but certainly and without a doubt, for anyone who really knows me, you know there is no possibility that i killed a spider today, not with my bare hands, but with a baby wipe! thankfully and surprisingly i did muster up the courage to do this one and i will claim ownership to it but only with explaination...the spider was in the twins bedroom, right next to cenzo's crib. i had to kill it, i had to overcome my horrible fear for the sake of my child.

so thats "not" me today...hope your day was a little better! im off to address thank you cards now!

thank you nani...

i am sending out a special thanks to Nani today, not only for all the amazing things she has done for our family and anyone else who entered her life while she was alive, but also for the amazing things she has done in the last few days.

it all started on Monday and maybe somehow we should have taken it as a sign then that something was going to happen, but who knew...sometimes the small things don't stand out quite as much until something bigger has happened. but anyway, frank was on the phone out on the deck, talking with a friend from church on Monday afternoon. he has spent much of his life dealing with his struggles in a less than desirable way and more recently decided to head down a fresher, healthier avenue, an avenue that has brought him closer to God. so he was talking with this friend from church, setting a plan to get together the next day for a nice walk in the park to chat. well while he was on the phone a humming bird was buzzing around in our apple trees! for anyone who does not know, humming birds were a really big thing with Nani, she had all sorts of humming bird nic-naks, etc...so at that moment frank just thought it was pretty cool that something so rare decided to check out our apple trees while he was standing right there! we actually have never seen that happen before! then one day later, just hours after having an amazing life talk with his friend from church, we get the news that Nani has moved on to a greater place, a place we can only hope to end up when our time on earth is through.

driving home from her wake today, i looked at frank and said "do you think maybe that humming bird was Big Papa, checking on you to make sure you were OK before he took Nani home with him?" it gave us a chill. it seems so possible because that is just the kind of people they were. there is a reason that Nani survived as a widow for so many years, she had a lot more people she needed to "take care of" before she could settle down and just be a wife for once!

with that being said, she looked gorgeous today...it may seem like a strange thing to say about someone laying in a coffin, but she truly did...she looked youthful and radiant, not what you would expect a 93 year old woman to look like. she looked peaceful and happy and you could just feel the light and refreshing air about the room. it was a beautiful day here today, just the kind of day you would expect to have when celebrating the life of such an amazing woman. as hard as it may have been to let her go (we have all been holding on for a long time now) there is certainly something peaceful about saying a final goodbye to someone here on earth, with the confidence of knowing you will see them again someday. there is no doubt in my heart that Nani is hand in hand with Big Papa in heaven, looking down at all of us with a warm smile, sending her love through sunshine, blooming flowers (or Christmas cactus for that matter), humming birds and even the rain. rain is in the forecast for tomorrow, not something you want surrounding you on the day of a funeral, but in Nani's case, it will be a different kind of rain. a cleansing rain. a refreshing rain. a rain that reminds you, tomorrow is another day, a day worth living, with a clear mind, a peaceful heart and a refreshed soul.

in so many ways, i wish i would have put forth more effort into strengthening the relationship i had with Nani. but i know she loved me, i could see it in her face every time she held my boys, i knew she was proud of what frank and i have accomplished together. and i knew she understood. time is of the essence and make the most of what you have. nothing is more precious than our children and they wont fit on our laps forever!

so tonight, i thank you Nani, for being the tree trunk of our family for all of these years. you have been the base of such a large family tree and through you we have all remained so close over the years, growing even closer more recently. it was times like your surprise birthday parties (for your 90th, 91st and you 92nd and even your 93rd!) that we would all get together and realize how much fun we all had and my promise to you is to use the birthdays of your great great grandsons to continue those family gatherings. you will always be in our hearts, not a day will go by that we will not think of you, our children will know your stories better than the most famous nursery rhymes and they will sing dominic the donkey at every christmas eve dinner! they may not remember you the way that their dad and uncles do, but they will know your legacy and hopefully through their grandma, they will be able to relive the memories that frankie, dave and dom have in the country. God bless you Nani, the way that you have blessed us. we will love you forever and ever and we'll see you again someday, so until then, enjoy your time with Big Papa.

love, shannon, frankie, tuscan, matteo and vincenzo

a loss to us but a blessing in heaven...

i cant say that i have always felt this way, but since becoming a believer and putting my trust in God, i now feel more content with the idea that the ending of a life here on earth is something to celebrate rather than something to be sad or angry about. and i believe this even more so when you lose someone that you know was also on the right side with God. and that is the case i am dealing with tonight....

around 945pm last night, frank and i were watching the end of a movie when we heard our front door open. we expected my brother and lindsey for a game of cards, but instead we were surprised by my dad and beth, in tears...

approximately 8:00pm last night, our dearest and most beloved Nani peacefully took her last breath, while safely tucked in the comfort of her bed at the erie county home at the age of 93. it had been a day like any other, with one small suspision...she was apologizing to all her nurses for being a "crabby old lady" recently. well for any of you who have had the pleasure to know Nani, you can probably laugh at the idea of her claiming to be crabby...it doesnt happen!

i have had the pleasure of being a part of Nani's life for about 8 years now and in these years i have learned so much about what it means to be a good, honest and pure person. i regret that i never put more time into hearing more stories directly from her about her life, the lessons shes learned and the experiences she has had. but i know, from the stories that i have heard that she was a beyond exceptional woman. she was a wonderful devoted wife, to a man that passed before i became a part of the family. but from what i have heard he was just as amazing. they were able to share life together for a few years more after celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary! that alone is such an accomplishment...50+ together years is something i pray for everyday.

Nani was a birth mother to 4, an adoptive mother 3 and a foster mom to over a 100 more over the years. she was a grandmother, a great grandmother and beyond that...a great great grandmother to 4, with two more on the way! now that is something to celebrate!

i cannot even begin to describe how much it means to me and frank that we have had the opportunity over the last 3 years to share our children with such an amazing woman. i know they may be to young to actually have memories of her, but we have pictures and that is more than enough. we will be able to tell them stories about their nani as they are growing up and keep her spirit alive through the pictures we have taken over the years. it makes me sad to know they wont remember her love like we will but its her love that will prove as an inspiration to us to love our kids more everyday, to love each other more everyday. Nani loved everyone, to everyone she was Nani...it was a true rarity for anyone to call her by her name, Carmella...which was actually even her middle name. i didnt know until more recently, her first name was Mary...but Nani just suited her so much better!

i could probably go on typing forever and ever. but i will stop here, ill keep it simple, because i know that is just the way Nani would have wanted it. she wasnt the fussing type, and thats just one more thing that was so admirable about her!

and the birthday continues...

we had originally planned on taking tuscan and the boys to chucke cheese for dinner on sunday, for his birthday dinner...but we sort of figured that a baseball game and chucke cheese, all in one day, on a day that no one took a nap...not a good idea! so it gave us a reason to stretch his birthday out just a little bit more and we took them on tuesday evening. it was a first time for all 3 of them and tuscan had a blast! the twins were much more intimidated by most of it. they didnt like things that moved to much or made to much noise, obviously they just dont get out often enough! tuscan had a blast in the overhead tunnel system though. he played up there more than he played any of the games! so frank and i got to play like kids for a bit and use up the tokens, then tuscan was more than excited to trade the tickets all in for candy!

on our way home tuscan had the opportunity to enjoy his first packet of pop rocks!! he thought they were pretty amazing...loved the noise they made everytime he opened his mouth...and i was so excited to be able to share with him one of my favorite childhood candies!

saturday was the big day though, the much anticipated bedroom delivery day! tuscan woke up saturday morning chanting a song about his new bed and a big truck. he was clearly extremely excited! so when the truck driver called and said they were 10 minutes away we were quick to put our shoes on and meet them in the driveway!

patiently watching the men put his bed together...

helping me put the dust ruffle and sheets on, because he was to impatient to wait till everything was in his room! (wonder where he gets that from? - me)

the bed all put together...the pics of the rest of the furniture will be posted at a later date, i want to get the thank you cards sent out first! so for many of you, watch your mailbox next week!

but he totally loves his new room, i totally love all the space i have to put his clothes away. seeing him sleeping in such a big bed is a constant reminder every night that he is growing up way to quickly. he is so far from being my baby boy now! but i am loving him more and more everyday...he is so amazing, sometimes i find it hard to believe that he is actually mine!

so thank you again to everyone who was able to join us at tuscan birthday party, and to those of you who also contributed to his new bedroom set. we are so grateful for the wonderful people in our lives who have blessed us beyond belief! we love you all!

happy birthday to tuscan!!

it is beyond hard for me to believe that three years ago from right now tuscan was just a little over an hour old, my body was shaking like crazy from using all my might to push out all 8lb 2oz of him and the epidural wearing off...i remember being so willing to let frank and our parents hold him so that i could finally eat the philly cheesesteak i had been craving all day! i will never forget the joy in my heart the first moment that i saw his chubby little cherub face and heard his newborn cry...

its the same joy i feel when i see his little face everyday! in the last three years he has become more amazing than i could have ever pictured a son to be. becoming a mother is something you can never really imagine until you are finally blessed enough to experience it. yes it has its tougher days, but those arent the days you remember. not to say you forget the fact that there were sleepless nights in the beginning, days when you wondered what to do next or even how to start the day...but you dont remember the details of those days...the details you remember are things like the first time they woke up from a nap and called out "momma" or the day the named their favorite blankie "Nie" or the first time you played in the grass, the first shopping trip, the first time they got to meet your best friend...its the look on their face every time they see you walk through the front door or opening their bedroom door to get them up from a nap. its the way they hug you and say "love you momma" and you just feel in your heart that they mean those words more than anyone else who has ever said them to you. there is nothing in this world that compares to the love shared between a mother and her child. and i feel so blessed everyday that i have been given a chance to feel that love, times three! i dont know what i ever did to deserve three adorable and beyond loving sons, but there must have been something good in my past at some point!

a new game!! yeah...

their first baseball game together...and it was just the two of them!



three candles, for three wishes, for a three year old boy!


and the sweet faces of his amazing little brothers!


can you guess who is who?

come on, leave me a comment, lets see if you can tell these boys apart yet!

so happy 3rd birthday to my baby boy...i love you so much tuscan and i am so proud to be the one that you call "mom" i hope the next 100 years of your life leave behind as many happy memories as the ones you have left this past 3 years. you are an amazing little boy, a wonderful big brother and one of the greatest sons a parent could ever ask for! ( i have to be careful how i word that...there are two more behind him that will one day know how to read!)