6 weeks and the secret is shared!

Oh how the excitement can build in just a week...although your dad and i are chosing to be cautious with how quickly we spread the word of your presence in our life, there were just a few people that we needed to tell sooner than later.  Three of them being you big brothers.  Several months ago the idea of us bringing another baby into the family came up, by them...votes for a brother vs. a sister, specificatation of just one, not twins and the big question - "how do babies get in your belly, mom?"

my answer was simple - "God puts them there!"

   "When mom?"

   my answer - "While i'm sleeping!"

so today we sat your brothers down after their nap and told them we had a surprise to share with them.

"Boys, mommy and daddy have a surprise we want to share with you."

responses..."is it new toys? a new puppy? a bear?"

well since we certainly dont need anymore toys, we just recently got two puppies and a bear is just a little on the silly side...this was what we had to say:

"Remeber that one time when you guys were asking how babies got in my belly and i told you that God put them there?  Well, God has put a baby in mommy's belly!  But its a secret so you can't tell anyone until God tells us that its ok.  Because sometimes when God gives you a baby you cant always keep it, sometimes he has to try again and give you a different one.  So once mommy goes to the doctor and God tells us we can keep the baby, then you can tell your friends about it.  But for now, it is very important that we pray for the baby everyday."

By this point the only one really listening to us was Tuscan and he was quick to respond, "Oh dont worry mom, i will pray as soon as i get in the car! (we were leaving to meet Nonna and Poppa for dinner!)  This makes me so happy mom!"  and he crawled next to me on the floor, lifted my shirt and sort of bounced my belly around like he was just amazed by the whole idea!

Then we went to dinner.  I already wasnt feeling very well - you have been doing a good job at staking your claim in my body and making my stomach pretty uneasy much of the day this week!  But know that i am grateful, because i take that as a sign that everything is as it should be.  Although, you add nervousness to that and it makes it a little harder to enjoy a meal!  So it wasnt until dessert - after about 15 trips to the bathrooms with your brothers, that i finally had the courage to bring it up!

    "so, you guys are possibly going on your cruise in june, right?  because frank and i were talking about our vacations for next year, and i think we will be taking one towards the end of may and we may need your help with the kids for a day or so..." 

     with bewildered looks on Nonna and Poppa's faces, i continued..."because we are having another baby!"  :)

it definitely took a minute for it to sink in for them, they looked a little surprised to say the least, but i think by the time we left they were both pretty excited!  You see baby, you are the missing link to our family.  May you be a boy or a girl, you are #4.  The final piece, the one that will tie us all together and make us - complete!

As this week went by, not only did we share the secret with some pretty important people, but you were pretty busy yourself!  You now have the beginning of your facial features and little buds that will soon become your arms and legs.  Your heart is starting to beat - although i wont be lucky enough to see it or hear it for a few more weeks, but it is reassuring to know that your blood is flowing!  You are about the size of a lentil but you already have the developments of a brain, muscles, bones and lungs!  it really all is truly amazing!

I am holding up well, although i am still beyond tired by the time it gets dark every night. I'm not the greatest company on the nights that your daddy is home because i fall asleep about 20 minutes in to any movie!  But he's a good sport about it!!  I have indigestion, no matter what i eat, from the time i wake up until the time i go to bed!  But dont think of this as complaining.  I will take on whatever i have to as long as it means you are safe and growing healthy inside me.  I'm your mom, and i am proud to say that thats my job - to take care of you!

next week, we go to the doctor! i can only pray that maybe we can catch a glimpse of you, if for no reason other than checking in the possibility of twins status!! Oh My!!  :)

i love you millions baby!

waist = 33.5 inches

weight = 127.5lbs

5th week of growing, 1st full week of knowing!

Its 5 weeks today that you have been growing inside me and although you are only about the size of a sesame seed, i am definitely feeling the changes you are bringing upon my body!  I wake up with a very sore back and the first thought in my head every morning is "Oh my, i have to go to the bathroom!"

 waist = 32inches

 weight = ?

Scientifically, this week you have developed from a small mass of cells into something moreso resembling a human tadpole! You have been divided into three layers which soon enough will be the beginning formations of all your major organs, neurological systems and circulatory system.

Although we are still weeks away from hearing your tiny heart beat, you should know that the thought of you and your development make daddy and I's hearts beat faster!  we cannot wait to see you on that tiny screen for the first time, to see your little heart beating and the first formations of your beautiful little body.  But until that day comes, we will continue to pray...we will pray that everything about you is as perfect as God can create.  We know that every piece of you is in his hands until the very first moment you are placed in ours, so until then we will trust Him.  we will trust Him to take care of you and to help me take care of myself while you are growing inside of me. 

To everyone other than me and Daddy your presence in our life is still a secret.  But that doesnt mean i havent noticed other changes in myself.  I am hungrier than usual and thankfully for us both, i am craving healthy foods like fresh veggies more than anything else! I am also feeling pretty tired these days, more so than usual anyway, so i've been going to bed about the same time as your 3 older brothers!  I've noticed my sense of smell has increased a bit, making some of the girls at work look at me like in kind of crazy sometimes! and i think it would be fair to claim that your dad thinks im kind of moody!  but thats just a matter of opinion!  I am also noticing myself taking a step back to enjoy your brothers, to watch them play and interact with each other...to take a deep breath soak it all in because i am really starting to notice how quickly it all goes by and i dont want to miss another moment!

i love you baby...and i will make it my daily duty to take care of you to the best of my ability!!

millions,

mommy

ps - yesterday your brother Vincenzo asked me if there was a baby in my belly when he was pushing on my boobies...all i could tell him was that there wasnt one in my boobies!!  :)

could it be?

there could never be enough words to describe the joy, excitement, nervousness and anticipation that goes along with the ideas of bringing a new baby into your life.  sometimes its an experience that you get to plan, other times it may catch you by surprise, but i must say that for me the most peaceful way to experience it was when i made the decision to leave it all in the hands of God.  opening your heart to his plan is sometimes the most challenging thing you can do in your life, but ultimately it is also the most beautiful and rewarding.  it comes with a certain sense of peace, a peace that assures you that everything is where its supposed to be and thats how you have come into our lives!
the suspision started about a week ago, the thoughts that maybe it could be true...the thoughts that maybe there could be YOU!!  by wednesday morning i could no longer stand the not-knowing and i took a test.  Maybe there was a plus, maybe it was just my imagination.  i wasnt sure and i didnt want to say anything to your dad until i felt certain. 
last night i was reading some other moms stories on the internet and i knew what i had to do...this time it was perfectly clear, there was no mistakening the two blue lines that crossed each other in that little square.  it was the first real sign that you were already growing inside me!  a smile spread across my face that i couldnt control and i dropped to my knees and started thanking God for the miracle of you, asking him to protect us both, to keep us healthy and to guide me to being the greatest mother i can be to you and your 3 brothers.

my first real "could it be true" thought happened last week when i indulged in my first "i have to have it" cheeseburger from burger king - a craving i  had experienced early on with my pregnancies with your brothers! i've been getting weird bursts of energy, intensely cleaning the house, taking the puppies for "runs"...(let it be known i have never voluntarily taken a run in my life!) but  i also have been much sleepier than usual, heading up to bed long before your dad gets out of work.  which is why i wasnt able to share the news of our newest blessing with him until i got home from work today! 
he was laying on our bed when i got out of the shower, with toben...i asked him to scooch over so i could sit with them...
"Frank, i think i have decided to let my hair grow long for awhile." - me
"Oh yeah" - dad
"yeah, at least until May" - me
your dad had a small smile forming on his face at this point. 
i handed him the first pregnancy test from wednesday and said i hadnt been sure, then handed him the one from last night and said that i was definitely certain! 
"we're going to have a baby!! but you better not tell anyone until i give you the ok - you hear me??!!" - me

so here you are, a small mass of cells, no bigger than a poppyseed and already we love you more than we could ever imagine possible.  you are a miracle from God, a product of our love and a piece of the puzzle that will only make us feel more complete!  i love you baby and i am looking forward to everyday of our adventure together.  the first sound of your heartbeat, the first glimpse of you in black and white, your first tiny kick...all moments that i am preparing my heart for, knowing full well they will all bring me to tears! and i will wait for that magical moment when i get to hold you in my arms for the first time, to kiss your tiny head and feel you grasp my finger in your tiny fist!  i hope you will always know what a blessing you are and how much we love you, even from the very start!

love you millions,
mommy

our FL trip in a nutshell...

cuz thats what we were, a bunch of nuts in one shell!! 

i can honestly say, i wasnt entirely sure what to expect going into this trip...10 people under one roof, 5 of them under the age of 5...for 5 nights!!  are we crazy??!!  YES!!  mandy and i have always been a little crazy....but i can honestly say that the week didnt fall into that category! what it did turn out to be was TOTALLY AMAZING!! Frank and i have by far declared it one of the best weeks of our life!  and i think our boys would totally agree!!  we went into this trip without any plans or expectations and i think that helped make it as successful as it was. 

we pulled out of our driveway around 10pm saturday night and drove...all night long...to Dave & Enna's house, where we pulled in a little before lunch.  Dom and Dana met us there, we had some awesome subs for lunch and then frank and i laid down - for what turned out to be a 4 hour nap!!  meanwhile, dave and enna bravely took our 3 boys, plus Nico, to an indoor bounce house place!!  what a blessing that was for us!  not only did it allow us to get enough rest to make it through our next night of driving, but it also tired the kids out so that our night of driving was a big success!!  and we were back on the road around 9pm...

first stop, Dad C's house, where we spent the day swimming with Frank's dad and his fiance and her son... it was such a wonderful visit!  my boys all got a good swimming lesson in with Grandpa Frank.  we ate a wonderful lunch and just enjoyed some good quality time together!  back on the road around dinner time, we had another 40 minutes or so until we reached our final destination, the Inglese house!!

when we got there monday night we were showered with surprises and we were just in time to order some pizza and hangout for a bit before we totally crashed for the night!

Tuesday - the day that set the tone for the whole week!!  mandy let her kids stay home from school which gave us the freedom to do whatever, without any time constraints...so our first stop, the pool! we packed some snacks and headed to the pool until lunch time and it was awesome!  we had the whole pool to ourselves and i was finally able to meet mandy's good friend heather! 

that evening we packed everyone up and headed up to Ft. Meyers Pier, with mandy's parents as well. we walked into a few of the shops, where my boys acquired their first package of Silly Bands! then headed toward the beach where we first spotted a school of small sting ray, followed by a living sand dollar,  sea star and a sea urchin.  in all my amazement with the sea life surrounding me, i made it perfectly clear that the two things i wanted to see most while in FL were manatee and dolphins!  the dolphins were quickly promised, but i was told the manatee would be a tough one.

we headed up to the pier and as i was about to buy the kids some suckers, everyone started shouting "shannon, theres manatee, come quick!!"  and much to our surprise, sofia spotted a clan of 4 manatee swimming right under the pier!!  it was breathtaking!

we ended the night with an awesome dinner and a pitcher of margaritas, ice cream and a God sent sunset!!

 

Wednesday - Kolby and Lucia were off to school and we were off to Vanderbilt beach for some fun in the sun!  and a giant sting ray spotting of course!!  about 5 feet wide, brown with white spots, just like Mr. Ray from finding nemo...and he was about 4 feet from the shore!  for a second he looked to be swimming right at me, but he made a quick turn and ended up about a foot and a half away from frank!  what a sight!!  playing in the sand was pretty awesome too, but seeing the bravery of my boys, splashing in the ocean waters...thats something i will never forget!

that evening we headed to downtown naples where the kids (+ mandy and i) had a blast on the playground!  we walked the naples pier and had some quickly melting ice cream after we watched some dolphins put on a pretty good show for us!

that night was officially declared "adult night"!! we got all the kids to bed and Bartender Anthony got the night going for us...the rest is history!  and it was just like old times...its always so reassuring to know that no matter how much time goes by, with true friends, you can always pick up right where you left off!  mandy and i have been friends for 13 years and you would never believe that we have now spent more of them in seperate states than we have together!

forever young (and crazy) at heart!!

to be continued....

my blessed life...

work work work, often i feel like thats all i ever do...i say that as i sit here working for the 3rd time today (2nd time from home)  and i know often i seem to gripe about how "its all i ever do" but deep down i am so grateful!  i am grateful for the opportunity to work from home, at my leisure, with total control over how much or how little money i make!  often i sit here in my jammies, with a cup of tea and a snack...my christian music playing on pandora, my kids giggling themselves to sleep in the baby monitor...i mean seriously what more could i ask for! (other than of course, for the debts to be paid off and the knowing that i really am working JUST for the fun of it!)

but i know that time will come, i just need to be patient and appreciative of all the blessings that surround me day after day.  i know with enough hard work now, when my kids are still at an age when they wont really remember...my time will come to be a stay at home mom and i am grateful to know that it should happen during the years they will really need me around the most!

frank and i have been so blessed...we swore when we got married that daycare/regular babysitters were something we didnt feel comfortable with for our family-and by the grace of God our plan has worked out...we might both work, but everyday frank is here when the boys wake up and i am here to tuck them in at night and somewhere in the middle it all overlaps. 

it often feels like chaos because one of us is always coming and going, but really, what parents life isnt full of chaos??  and i know...the best is yet to come! "wait till one has football and the other soccor all at the same time, etc..." i hear it often!  but with every stage in life comes its own handful of experiences that we can learn and grow from and i have learned through my own life that God will never give me more than He knows i can handle...and i trust that, with great comfort!

so please just know, whenever you may catch me complaining that "all i ever do is work" know that i am saying that with more appreciation than irritation...the frustration is only on the surface because i know i have a choice...but the gratitude is as deep as my soul - my "desk job" was a bigger blessing than i ever would have known to pray for.  it has provided a whole new lifestyle with so many opportunities and given me yet one more reason to feel proud of my family and who we are becoming.

frank and i are such a good team.  he is certainly my soulmate and i couldnt imagine sharing in this wonderful life with anyone else.  God sure does know what He's doing!

and the best is yet to come...   :)

the 2nd dash...

to make a long story short - our pastor got into his reasoning for chosing to follow Christ when he did, verses any other religious leader out there...it was such a breathtaking, Gods hand in the works, kind of story that he opened our Easter Sunday sermon with, but the one line that stuck with me the most today was this...(forgive me that i will never be able to type it with the same power that he spoke it with...)

"when i was on my spiritual journey, searching for what fit for me there was one thing that stood out the most about Christ...the second dash...he has a birthdate, followed by a dash, followed by his death date and then a second dash..."

Jesus is the only one, out of all the other religious leaders to ever exsist that has an empty tomb.  He is the only one that was able to conquer death...even the tomb could not hold him...

As Pastor Chris said this morning..."its that second dash that gives us Hope"

and really, i had never thought about it that way before.  i can honestly say that growing up i believed in God and the story of Jesus, but it wasnt until about 8 years ago that i really accepted Christ into my life and called myself a Believer.  For the last 8 years i can honestly say that i understand what it means to have a relationship with God and its AMAZING!  what a difference it has made in who i am, how i view life, my marriage and the way i parent.

so today i celebrate my Lord and Savior and i want the world to know how eternally grateful i am for the life He has given me to live here on earth and even more so, i look forward to the days that will follow this life once i arrive in heaven.  I dont fear death because i believe in the one and only God that has proven there to be something better when our time here on earth is over

...the best is yet to come :)   (and on such a greater scale than you and i could ever understand!)

day off?!?!

a day off...what is it exactly that a working mother does with a day off?? 

well today for me...

~i was up by 730am to see Frank off to his mens breakfast with the church

~fed our 3 guys and had myself showered by 830am...

~by 900am the 3 of them were dressed and we were backing down the driveway on our way to party city - spiderman birthday party supplies were on the list!

~by 1030am, the van was gased and we were on our way out to meet Frank at our parents house for an easter egg hunt by 11am.

from there it was back to Nonna and Poppa's house for lunch, coloring eggs, digging up rocks in the lawn, cleaning up Cenzo after he fell in the mud...

by 330ish we were back in the van, where 2 out of my 3 took full opportunity for a nap, which in turn detoured me into the drive thru at my work - i needed a coffee...even if it was decaf!

from there i stopped home to grab bowls and forks and headed to Frank's work for a "picnic dinner with daddy" in the van!

back home by 530pm to bake Easter cutouts, give the boys a bath and get them to bed by 8pm after watching a bit of Cars and reading them a story.

a shower for me, a few minutes on the computer and i was back to the kitchen frosting pink tulips, blue eggs and chocolate bunnies!

somewhere in there i also managed to wash/dry 2 loads of laundry and get two other loads folded and put away.

needless to say, by the time frank got home around 11:15pm - i was more than ready for bed but told him my hope is that one day i will be able to not work at all and have the time everyday for the things that mean the most...my kids, my husband and my house - when there is balance there is pure happiness - someday ill find consistancy in them both!!

...the best is yet to come :)

FREEDOM!!

Today is truly an amazing day. Its Good Friday - i am eternally grateful to our Lord for the way he graciously gave his own life so that we could be free!


But today, this gorgeous sunshiney day, i am also grateful for a new freedom - freedom from credit card debt! Logging in to our bank account today and discovering that our tax return had finally arrived gave me such an overwhelming feeling of excitement. The ability to pay off our last credit card is something we have been looking forward to for over a year now.

Christmas 2008 our parents gave us a copy of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover...i read it and i was hooked. i wanted to know what this financial freedom was that he spoke of. Fortunately we had our tax return last year to give us a kick start at paying off our debt and by the end of Feb '09 we had paid off 5 of our 9 debts - a hospital bill, 2 student loans and 2 credit cards! it was so refreshing! we spent last summer spending smarter, although we had been trying to do the Dave program our own way - it didnt work...using the credit card at all, no matter when i planned on paying off what i had just spent - it just wasnt working. it really is true, you spend more money without thinking when you arent handing over your hard earned cash!

So for Valentine's Day this year, i attended the first of our 13 week Dave Ramsey class, instructed by our parents at their church and it has really been life changing! For the first time ever Frank and i sit down and do a monthly budget together. We talk about where our money is going and we have it spent on paper before it ever reaches our hands! It's amazing! We have learned so much in just these first few weeks about how to spend, save and give...we are depositing into our savings on a weekly basis for the first time in our lives. we are giving more to our church than we had ever imaginged possible and we actually have enough money every week for all of our life's expenses! There is no more money stress because we know full well that there is enough...but just incase, we even have our emergency fund set up incase we get hit with some sort of surprise that doesnt fit in the budget!

For the first time in my life i feel like a real grown up and for reasons so opposite of what i used to think it meant to be "grown up". I remember a time when i thought credit cards were a necessity and i had quite the collection of my own! I remember a time when i thought that savings accounts were a nice thought but not something practical for our life and now here i sit, almost ready to start learning about IRA's and mutual funds so that i can start saving my money with intensity!

I so look forward to being that couple, in our early 30's with a few little kids, our cars and mortgage paid off, college funds set up and saving and a good retirement plan underway. I only say this because i know it will happen and i look forward to the excitement i will be able to share with all of you when that day comes!

Today is a new day...and i know i started it off on the right foot!

we are blessed in millions of ways and forever grateful...

just for proof....i really did do it! 

and i will NEVER open another credit card ever again!!

 
and the best is yet to come :)

the most special bond...

Until you have had the pleasure of experiencing twins in action, its hard to understand the truth about the special kind of bond they really do share.  When i was pregnant with them people would tell me about stories they knew of special things twins did together, particularly identical twins...some of it was touching, but some of it went in one ear and out the other like it was no big deal, just a silly story.

well it is a big deal!  the relationship these to share is something of pure amazement.  they cannot go more than a few minutes being away from each other. they typically share better with each other than i have ever seen two toddlers share.  they speak for each other, they really do seem to share each others pain and emotions.  the love and concern they share for each other is unmeasureable!  if only we all had the opportunity to know what they feel for each other!  they are the true definition of brotherly love!!

and they proved that to me yet again when i went in to check on them last night...

i had to run downstairs to grab the camera!!

"Brothers may fight; but woe betides the one who dares to come between them!"

~ carl joseph vonnoh

matteo had fallen sound asleep on vincenzo's chest!

absolutely precious!! 

i'd be lying if i said there wasnt a tear in my eye when i saw this..these two are just amazing to me!  everyday i am more and more grateful that i was chosen to raise them in this world.  i look forward to being the one that gets to sit back and watch them grow into boys, young men, husbands and dads... it will be such an adventure to see how being twins plays into all the other aspects of their life!

oh...the best is yet to come :)

for the love...of Ladybugs!!

There are so many things that Nonna's and Poppa's are good for...to these 2 two year olds, its treats!!  These guys LOVE when Nonna stops by on her way home from work with treats!!  last week it was ladybug cookies.  today it was Timbits.

I know many of you have shared in the wonderfully annoying invasion of ladybugs at some point in the last several months.  and here in our house they have remained a pretty constant thing all winter, particularly in the twins bedroom!  several times a week we find ladybugs in their room, crawling on the wall, the window - occassionally chasing them around their room during naptime...its quite entertaining sometimes!

but i can tell you, the satisfaction on their faces when they were told they could eat Ladybug cookies...lets just say they felt victorious!  Teo and Cenzo finally felt as though they had defeated the ladybugs!  and strange enough, we havent seen any in their room since!  Karma maybe??

mr.serious matteo showing off his ladybug cookie face!

mr. goofball cenzo showing off his red and black tongue!

"there is no love sincerer than the love of food." -george bernard shaw

if there was ever one certain thing about these boys, they sure do live up to the italian stereotype of living for food!  my guys LOVE to eat.

lets see what tomorrow cooks up - the best is yet to come :)