7 week check-up!

Today was a day for celebration and a day of sadness...Sicilya had a doctors appointment today, her 2 month well visit, even though she is only 7 weeks! 

 the great news is, she weighs 10lb 8oz (up 3lbs since birth and in the 65%), and she is 22.5 inches 'tall' (up 2 inches since birth and in the 75%).  she appears to be growing and developing wonderfully!! 

the sad part was, she needed 3 shots and an oral vaccination today.  she did so well with all 3 shots, crying just a few seconds with each poke, although the cry got a bit more intense as the poking continued!  we made it home, quiet the whole ride in the car and for the first hour or so we were home.  then my poor girl turned into a baby i baby i barely recognized.  she appeared to be in so much pain, although she wasnt feverish (yet).  she curled her quivering lip and cried in a way i have never heard her cry.  my heart was breaking for her!  needless to say, i spent 4 hours just holding her in my arms. she slept soundly on my chest, unless i moved the slightest bit, breathed on her the wrong way or got anywhere near touching her little thighs.  then the saddest cry i've ever heard would start all over again!

by dinner time i had to call out for help. i had no idea how i was going to cook anything, since she barely made it through my putting her down just so i could run to the bathroom.  i knew she wouldnt be ok with me strapping her in the carseat to run to the store for tylenol...so i called frank, who sent jerry over on his way home with infant tylenol and a little ceasars pizza!!  i was beyond grateful...he saved our night in so many ways!!

thankfully the tylenol kicked in quickly, Sicilya was finally comfortable enough to nurse - for the first time since we had gotten home and the boys and i all had food in our bellies!  i feared it was going to be a long night with her, but another dose of tylenol before bed and we all slept like babies - only after staying out in the backyard till 11:00pm with the neighbors, a bonfire and smores! but hey - thats what summer is for, right?

i am truly grateful for this life i have been given and i would not trade it for anything!!

locked and in love...

there was a moment in my day today that brought a tear to my eye...not a tear of sadness, but one of complete and utter joy!  for the first time today my baby girl really looked me in the eyes.  that in itself was more than special!  its so exciting to watch Sicilya grow.  She is really starting to fill out, clothes are starting to fit a whole lot better, which is making it that much more fun to dress her everyday!  I am beyond grateful for her extensive wardrobe because if she spits up on something or has a massive blow out, we just put something new on! 

but not only did she look me in the eye today, she held the gaze and smiled at me - more than once!!  it was amazing!  my heart completely melted in an instant.  the sparkle in her eye is enough to make me smile, but seeing her smile in response made it a moment to remember forever!

todays milestones: made eye contact and smiled at mommy!

just 6 weeks, or a lifetime already...

My dear sweet Sicilya, it is beyond amazing to me that you have already been a part of our life for 6 weeks...but at the same time i feel like you have been a part of us forever!  my heart has longed for a baby girl since i was a little girl myself, and now that you are actually a reality, i have a sense of peace in my life that i have never experienced before.  everything just feels right now, life has just fallen into place and i feel a greater sense of purpose! i honestly cannot think of anything else my life could possibly need.  you have truly completed this family in ways you yourself may never understand!  your brothers adore you, without doubt, you are their little princess!  and your daddy can barely talk about you without getting all choked up!  he looks into your beautiful little face and gets tears in his eyes almost every time!

Since your birth:

5/16 - we welomed you home, only after a quick stop at starbucks to let everyone know that "the baby" was actually a baby girl!!

5/17 - Great Grandma Janet came over and spent the day with us and to bring you your very own "grandma janet blankets".  seeing you in her arms made the bond i feel toward her just a bit stronger!  jess and jake stopped by for a visit and you were also tremendously spoiled with beautiful clothes, blanekts and jammies by our wonderful neighbors Andee, Jaycee, Carol and Bradley!  everyone is just so excited about your birth, you have been showered in so many beautiful gifts!

5/18 - you had your first doctors office visit today.  you weighed 6lb 10oz...a little less than they were hoping for, but ill take the blame for that - you are just patiently waiting for my milk to come in!  We also introduced you to Subway Dave today, your brothers would agree that is a pretty big deal - he gives them cookies if they eat their whole sub!  You made a quick appearance at your brothers preschool, where all the moms oohed and aaahed over you - i cant lie, i was loving every second of showing you off!  we made a quick stop at Nonna's office, where she so proudly showed you off to everyone working and you even met our other neighbors, Lee, Paul and Mr. Nichols.  after all the activity we happily ended the day with your first sponge bath!

5/20 - you had a follow up doctors appointment today, just to check your weight progress - thankfully you were up to 6lb 12oz, having gained 2oz in two days, the doctor seemed very pleased with that!  Nonna went with us (and your borthers) and then treated us to lunch at Chipotle!  not even a whole week old and you are having lunch at the family hotspot!

5/22 - you made your grand appearance at Fellowship where Nonna and Poppa proudly introduced you to all the people they have been sharing in their faith with, a church that we are starting to transition to. 

your cord also fell off today -although it looks a little sore, so i think we will wait a few more days to give you your first real bath!

5/23 - Tuscan graduated from preschool today and you were a very good girl during his ceremony!  then we headed to jess and jakes house for jazz's birthday dog party and dinner later that night.

5/27 - Today was your two week doctors appointment - you made it back to your birth weight (7lb 7oz) in just 13 days, one day sooner than the doctors were hoping for!  you also managed to pee on the scale again today - that makes 2 out of 3 times - silly girl!!  tonight also marks your first night out to dinner with mommy, your brothers, nonna and poppa at the Elma Town Grille, and you graciously slept through the whole meal!

5/29 - Today was a pretty important day, it was your first visit to Nonna and Poppa's house and we even spontaneously decided to spend the night!! you also made your grand appearance at our other church, The Vine, where many people were so excited to finally meet you.  our vine family have all watched your brothers grow in my belly and grow up in Christ, so it was pretty exciting to introduce our newest addition!

5/30 - Memorial Day parade in Marilla - turned out to be a flop of a parade, but it was still your first.  then we headed back to nonna and poppa's house and skyped with Uncle Dave, Aunt Enna and Nico!

6/1 - today was your due date...and i am so happy to have been able to hold you in my arms these last 2 weeks instead!

6/2 - Our dear and wonderful friend Jess came over tonight and did such a beautiful photo shoot with you!  I can not wait to see the final outcome.  you were so cooperative, giving us a chance to get so many precious photos of you.  its amazing to me that you are already two and a half weeks old!  slow down baby girl!  i was so glad that jess was able to come over tonight because you are starting to "unravel", you are losing your womb shape and stretching out a bit more everyday!

6/6 - Daddys week of vacation started today!  Finally we get to have him home with us everyday for a whole week!  we spent the whole day outside (mommy and daddy were spreading mulch in all the flower beds!)  when we finally finished we headed over to jerry and debbies house for a late backyard dinner!  its such a blessing to have such wonderful people in our life to share you and your brothers with!

6/7 - Today was your first trip to the zoo!!  we met the Schwab family there, you mananged to nurse while we were walking around the zoo and we stayed until the zookeepers were ready to lock the gates.  then we grabbed Chipotle for dinner and headed back to their house to eat and hang out for a bit!  crazy to think that in just about a year you will be running around with the rest of the kids.  i sure hope the time doesnt go by too quickly!

6/8 - tonight you accompanied mommy and daddy on our dinner date night to Mangia!  i'm not going to lie, it was pretty special having you out with us, dressed up in a pretty little outfit!  i just love you so much baby girl!!

6/9 and 6/10 - yardsale...you spent much of the day hanging out in your swing in the front yard, getting complimented on your beauty by so many of the yardsaling women that came by!  you and mommy also took a trip out to meet your newest cousins, Carson and Parker, who are just 6 days younger than you!!  although the 3 of you are nearly the same size, you are so much darker than them - it was like day and night...there is no doubt, with the color of your skin and your thick dark hair that you are a little italian princess!! 

6/11 - your very first roadtrip, at just 4 weeks old!!  we headed out to Cleveland today for an overnight, for Grandpa Frank's wedding!  you were wonderful in the car for the whole ride out and you were perfect all day!  you looked absolutely gorgeous in your little yellow and white dress and it was so wonderful  to be able to introduce you to so many members of our family.  you were able to meet not only Grandpa Frank and the new Grandma Kathy, but there was also Uncle Dave, Aunt Enna, Nico, Uncle Dom and Aunt Dana and all of Daddy's aunts and uncles!  i was happy to have stollen a few moments with you and Vincenzo out on the dance floor - it was a very precious moment!

6/12 - Cleveland zoo!! i dont know what it is about being at the zoo, but you nursed while we walked through much of this zoo too!  and then you slept the whole drive home from Cleveland!

6/17 - today i was able to introduce you to one of my oldest and greatest friends, Mandy!  she flew up from Florida to meet you and brought you your very first bathing suit!

6/18 - first Massino family experience - lil Mandi's surprise 8th birthday party!!  and our attempted trip out to the drive in, where the movie ended up being sold out!  thankfully you slept the whole drive there and back!

6/19 - Fathers Day!!  we spent the day at my Uncle Marty and Aunt Nancy's house, where we were able to finally introduce you to them and Grandpa Jim and mommy's cousins.  they also showered you in some adorable clothes and a blankie and bath towel!  its amazing how much you are loved little girl!!

6/23 - today we brought you to Thorpes Farms to go strawberry picking!!  although you cant taste the berries this year, it excites me to know that you will eventually be able to taste the jam from your first picking experience!! i look forward to the photo ops i should get when we take you again next year, with strawberry juice dripping off your chin!  oh, how i look forward to a lifetime of watching you grow up!

6/24 and 6/25 - yardsale at Nonna and Poppas house and another sleepover!! but the most special part of today, for me anyway, was taking a bubble bath with you.  holding your tiny body close to mine, in such a relaxing and intimate atmosphere, it was by far one of the most special moments i have ever shared with one of my babies!! 

6/26 - today was another day of meeting many family members for the first time.  we had a family bbq at jerry and debbies house...it was awesome to see all the babies "floating" around!!  and then you had a massive blow out on my lap and got more poop on my clothes than you did your own, but i guess thats just one of the many 'joys' of being a mommy!!

all in all, what i am trying to say baby girl, is that bringing you into our life has been such an easy transition.  you just fit right in, with no effort at all!  and because of that, it seems as though you have been a part of us for as long as there has been an "us".  you are so mild tempered and easy going.  you sleep when you need to sleep, you eat when you need to eat (and every feeding is followed by a good case of the hiccups, which makes you pretty mad!)  you are just an awesome baby and we couldnt be happier!  we love you even more than we would have imagined and everyday we wake up feeling more blessed than the day before! 

millions,

  ~  mommy

on the day you were born...

Sicilya CarmellaMarie

born May 14, 2011

at 12:30pm

7lb 7oz

20.5 inches long

A week prior to your birthday, we spent the night in the hospital for observation because i was having fairly regular contractions and they thought you would be born that night...but you and God had other plans All it took was a bendryl (to help me breathe) and a two hour nap for all the labor activity to end and we were sent home at 5am on Saturday, May 7th. 

The coming week was like any other, i timed contractions many nights, but none of them turned into anything worth calling about. i even went to work one day that week!  for several months i had joked around that Friday, May 13th would be your birthday just because that was how the pregnancy had been going.  your brothers had a field trip to the zoo that day and i just figured that would be enough to put me into labor...but your brothers and i were all sick that morning, so we decided to stay home and you decided to stay put!  but only until the wee hours of the next morning!

My contractions started at 3:30am and i believe they were brought on by my horrible cough.  in order to not wake your dad, i grabbed my phone, my pen and paper and my pillow and i headed down to lay on the couch.  sleep was no longer an option, i was coughing to much and my nose was to stuffy, so i sat there and tried to relax and wrote down the time for every contraction i was having.  they started off about 6-7 minutes apart but by 5am they were nearing five minutes apart.  i was expected to be at work at 6:30am, so i figured i would jump in the shower. if it was real labor i expected the contractions would only continue, if it was false labor they would likely stop.  well i had five contractions in the 15 minutes i was in the shower, so when i got out, i decided it was time to call into work!

My next call was the doctors office.  i had a feeling they were going to send me in to get checked and hooked up to the monitors, but i was really dreading another round of false labor.  i had just been to the doctor 4 days earlier and was still 2cm and our doctor didn't expect you to be joining us anytime soon!  well, little did he know, you had a plan of your own!  our doctor called back a few minutes later and said i should head in, so i called Nonna and poppa and woke up your dad. 

Nonna and Poppa showed up a little after 7am.  Vincenzo was the only one of your brothers awake yet.  he had joined in the morning activity around 5:55am, said he knew that i would be up sitting on the couch!  (brotherly intuition maybe!)   He played 10,000 questions with me, asking anything he could think of about anything he knew, while i dressed, dried my hair and threw the last few things into my bag.

By 7:30, we were heading up to the 4th floor, where i was ironically situated in the very same room that your brother Tuscan had been born in only 5 years earlier!  was it a sign...i would say so, especially considering that both our doctor and our midwife were on call, and the anesthesiologist that did my epidural with Tuscan was the same one working that day!  everything was lining up, indicating that today was the day!

Around 8am, the hospital midwife checked me and gave me the disappointing news that i was still only 2cm and that my contractions, although coming fairly close together, just didnt have a long enough duration for them to consider me in real labor and she suggested i just go home!  well i opted to stay. there was no way i was going home pregnant again!!  everything was just to right about the day and the idea of going home, with the way i was feeling just felt all wrong!  so they let me stay on the monitors for a bit.

No sooner did i mention to Nonna that i wished our doctor would pop in, our midwife showed up instead!!  it was such a pleasant and welcomed surprise!!  she graciously checked me and said in her opinion i was at 3cm and my water felt ready to break!  she and our doctor had to go do a c-section and she would be back to check on me in an hour. if i had progressed to 4cm she would gladly break my water and suggested i get out of bed and go for a walk and even sit on the birthing ball for a bit! 

well that was exactly what we needed...and exactly why i knew i needed kelly to come check on me!  By the time they were done with the section we had progressed to 5cm and it was time to break my water.  that was at 10:30am.  by 11:15 my contractions were coming on close together and much stronger.  it was time for my epidural!  we waited for what felt like an eterinity for the anestesiologist to show up, but once the numbness started to set in, i was a very happy and relaxed woman! i was looking forward to taking a nap now that i was nice and warm!  but, you once again had other plans.  kelly checked me again after getting me situated with my epidural and she said we had since progressed to 8cm!  i was shocked - even more shocked when she said you would be out within the next 20 minutes!

Suddenly the room got brighter as they turned on all the lights and got the room prepped for delivery! and within minutes i was feeling ready to push.  Nonna was there, helping deliver you and daddy was there supporting my left leg and my every push!  it didnt take much and before i knew it you were out...presenting us all with the long awaited surprise of who had been growing inside of me for the last 37 weeks!

at 12:30pm we were presented with the most amazing surprise, the biggest blessing and something we had hardly expected...my baby girl was placed on my belly for me to kiss for the very first time!  everything about you was absolutely perfect!  daddy, nonna and i had tears streaming down our cheeks - we were shocked that you were actually a little girl...an answer to prayers and dreams that have been present in our family for many many years!  the very thought of you had seemed so impossible for so long, with the history of boys in our family and then there you were, in my arms.  my life changed a bit in that moment, in ways i just might never be able to explain!

i love you Sicilya more than words will ever begin to describe.  being chosen to be your mother is an honor that i am so grateful to have bestowed upon me and my promise to you is to always try my hardest to be my best.  as you are growing up, i will not long to be your friend, but to be something more than that.  someone you will forever be able to count on, someone you can trust...someone you can talk to about anything without being judged and without fear.  someone who will love you unconditionally and support you in all the ways i can.  you have been born into an amazing and unique family, a family that thanks God on a daily basis for all the ways we have been blessed.  a family who turns to God when the going gets tough.  A family who trusts in the Lord when life seems to be more than we can handle.  and i pray for you my baby girl, that we will have what it takes to instill all those values and all that trust into your own heart.  Jesus is the light and the way and if there was ever a moment of doubt for me, that has all been eliminated now that i have looked into your eyes!  Everything about you, since the very beginning, has all been God's plan and i have never felt so sure of His presence in our life as i do now.  You are an answer, a missing link, a granddaughter, a sister, a cousin and a niece...and you are our daughter, hand chosen for us directly by God and for that i am eternally grateful!

welcome to our world little lady!

millions,

  ~ mommy

36 weeks...3 more pounds!

we went to the doctor again today.  no news, other than a 3lbs weight gain - and i swear its all in you baby!! they say i am measuring right on track, but i feel like you are sooo big! when i was pregnant with your brothers, my belly just stuck out really far, when looking at me head on or from the back, people were often surprised when i mentioned that i was pregnant!  but with you, im carrying you everywhere!!  i feel like you are sometimes wrapping around my sides! 

you were super active at the doctors office this morning, making it difficult to get a heart rate count, but because of all the activity our doctor didnt seem to concerned!  she also put money on the fact that you wont weigh more than tuscan did at birth, which was 8lb 2oz!  so we'll see...i have a feeling she may be wrong about that one, unless of course you decide to make your grand entrance sooner than your potential due date!

we have one more appointment scheduled for next wednesday.  we are seeing our primary OB, so hopefully by then things will have progressed a bit more and we will get some more information.  i would love the chance to even sneak a peek at you and maybe get an estimated size, just to be sure you wont turn into a 10lb bag of potatoes!!  according to statistics, you should be nearing 6lbs at this point, but your twin brothers were born at 35 weeks and they weighed 5lb 14oz and 6lbs 9oz...so im going to guess that you are a tad bigger than a statistic!

your dad and i went for pedicures this morning, you and i were both truly enjoying that hour of relaxation!  you were moving around like crazy.  but i do think the girl was being gentle on my toes, as to not disturb anything today!  a pedicure didnt work for inducing labor when i was pregnant with tuscan, so im not to concerned its going to do anything for you either!  we also had a dentist appointment...so really, everything is starting to line up.  things are being checked off the list.  we really are getting ourselves ready for you baby!  whenever you are ready, so are we!

but until next week, hang tight baby...and hopefully ill see you soon!

i love you more than words can say

millions,

  ~ mommy

weight = 166lbs (up 33 total)

wasit = 43.5 inches



35 weeks...and progressing!

so baby, we had a doctors appointment today - and in my opinion, it was a good one!  the downside was, we gained 5lbs in the last two weeks (but im set on the idea that it was only because we were at the other office, on a different scale!)  the good news is, we are 1cm dialated!  and that makes your momma a very happy woman!  that means all these braxton hicks contractions we have been experiencing are starting to do something beneficial for us, instead of just increasing my back pain and leaving me with severe headaches!

you are measuring (from the outside) exactly where you should be at 35 weeks, although i must admit that i am super curious about your actual weight - only because your twin brothers were born the morning of their 35th week and they weighed 5lb 14oz and 6lbs 9oz!

we stopped at nonna's office after our appointment today - debbie is still insisting you are a girl and aunt sandy did the needle and thread test on me - first: a boy, second: a boy, third: a boy, fourth: a girl, fifth: nothing - the needle stood as still as could be!!  nonna and i looked at each other, pretty shocked!  apparently its a test that an older member of our family used to do without fail.  she was always dead on, and in aunt sandy's family it has stood true so far!  so i guess within the next few weeks we will see if peoples predictions are right about you!  either way baby, you must know that i will love you millions.  no matter what you are the final piece to our puzzle, you are what will complete us as a family and we are just so excited to meet you!

hang tight little baby - just a few more weeks until your grand arrival!!  im getting so excited - you have no idea!! 

millions,

  ~ mommy

waist = 43.5 inches

weight = 163lbs

34 weeks...nearing the end!

baby, as we head into our last few weeks together in this first adventure of life there are a few things i need you to know.  first, i am so sorry that i did not remain consistent with this journaling throughout the whole pregnancy.  i truly hoped to document every detail of our journey for our first 9 months together and i really have no excuse, so please don't hold it against me for to long!  the important thing is, i was doing what needed to be done in order to take care of us! 

also, i want you to know that as we get nearer to your birth date, we are all becoming more and more anxious to meet you!  keeping your identity a surprise was such a great decision and your dad and i are so glad we stuck through until the end!  you cannot even begin to imagine how excited we are for the big day to arrive, not only will we be meeting you face to face for the first time, but we will be receiving one of the only true surprises left in life, and what a blessing you will be!!

the last eight and a half months have truly been an experience for me.  our pregnancy has been so very different from either of my pregnancies with your brothers.  you name a pregnancy symptom and we have likely experienced it together...the good and the bad!  nothing about this pregnancy has compared to my past two, which only adds to my unending curiosity about who you are, growing inside there!

your dad and i have come up with two names, one for a boy and one for a girl...and recently we have played around with a variation of the girl name, introduced to us by your brothers.  so when the big day comes, i guess we will just have to see which of the names fits you the best!

recently you have been making me quite nervous. braxton hicks contractions are something new to me this pregnancy, and we have been having a LOT of them!  according to my doctor visit 4 weeks ago we weren't dialating yet, but I'm interested to see what the verdict is this coming week!  thankfully, we have worked together as a good team in keeping my weight down while making you a good size baby!  up till now, i have only gained about 25lbs and I'm hoping for sonogram within the next week to get an estimate as to how big you may be (because you sure do feel "healthy"!)

working is becoming quite the challenge, my legs are swelling and you are just getting heavy!  4 hours is about my max these days, anything beyond that and i pretty much cant move for the remainder of the day!

napping is almost an every afternoon experience for us, it would be nice if your sleep schedule could continue once you are on the outside of my belly :)  and i must say, im sorry you dont have more room to move around in there. i've noticed recently that your movements seem much stiffer and less frequent. to some degree im grateful, because your kicks are becoming a bit more painful with our reduced space, but even more so it makes me concerned. i dont like realizing that i cant remember the last time i felt you moving.  it worries me like you wouldnt believe!  imagine that, you are not even here yet and i worry about you so often!

i have recently washed some of your laundry, loaded the diaper basket, made my "to pack" list for the hospital, set the pack-n-play up to air out and gotten pretty stocked up on diapers and some "just incase" formula.  but i still feel like there is so much i could get done, so hopefully you won't be here to much sooner than we are expecting!  although we fully trust in God's plan and know that He will bring you into our life when you both are good and ready!  i've put dibs on Friday, May 13th...with the way our journey has been, you just strike me as a friday the 13th sort of baby!!  and your twin brothers have a field trip to the zoo that day, so it would be just my luck!!  i did warn your dad and told him to plan his work schedule accordingly, better to be safe than sorry!  but i know its (mostly) out of my control...

so until the big day, stay safe in there little baby, keep growing, stay healthy and know that we anxiously await your surprising arrival!  we love you more than words can say and we dont even know who you are yet!

millions,

 ~ mommy

weight (at 33 week dr. appt) = 156lbs

waist = 42 inches

week 24...round and round and round...

is my belly!!  without a doubt you have created a much rounder belly than either of your brothers pregnancy's did.  they had quite the slope going on above my belly button, you on the other hand are perfectly round!  maybe it has something to do with the fact that im certain you are growing side to side within me, instead of up and down.  if i had to guess i would say your back is curved nicely right above my belly button and your arms and legs and shooting down past my belly button.  you continue to keep your movements pretty deep inside, seemingly unwilling to share your presence with anyone else in the family!  everything about you is just so different from everything i have ever experienced, and i have to admit, it is making me more and more curious about who you are in there, little one! 

it has been a crazy week of carbs for us.  i cant seem to keep myself away from the sweets and cereal is something we have been consuming more than once per day!  we need to get this spurt under control before the end of the month when we go for our glucose screening...so maybe fresh veggies could be next on the list!?!?  my biggest complaint this past week is rib pain, which is a bit of a mystery, only because you arent even big enough to be touching my ribs yet!  but nonetheless, they are killing me from mid-day until i go to bed!

there was one night this past week baby, that you gave me quite the scare.  i wasnt feeling well at all and although i was certain it was me that wasnt well, and not you trying to do something crazy, i was still worried about you!  i dont know if my evenings of severe stomach aches and nausea are just you and God working together to get me to relax a bit and just take care of us, but let it be known that more subtle clues from this point on would be grately appreciated!  i have the rest of my life to worry about you, so if possible i would like to keep the worrying to a minimal while you are still 'safe' inside my belly!  i will say, the warm bubble baths that come as a result of our bad nights are very enjoyable, but i would love for them to happen just because and not because im in severe pain! 

as for you, you apparently weight a little over a pound now, measuring about a foot long! (in food perspective, you are about the length of an ear of corn!)  your brain is continuing to develop, along with your taste buds and the branches of your lungs!  you remain pretty active very often throughout the day, unless of course we have just eaten a big meal...then you seem content to take a nap!

my curiousity pertaining to you has become so strong this past week.  im starting to question whether we made the right choice to not find out ahead of time if you are our baby girl or our baby boy!  i dont doubt that it will be super exciting on your birthday to hear of your great surprise, but its hard for me to just sit here and wait for you. i want to be doing more for you, shopping for you if i need to, washing your clothes and getting your room all set up!  but there is so much you will need if you are a girl, because as much as i may have said it wouldnt be a big deal to put you in blue (daddy's boy) pajamas, i know when reality hits, i never could!  just as i would never dress you in purple pj's if you are a boy!  i did buy you a new bathtub this week though! its a whale! and im so excited to see your little body in it for your first bath at home!  its crazy to sit back and think about how soon that will be a reality!  i also got us a new boppy...a must have for those first few hours of life, as i try to nurse you for the very first time!  oh baby...the excitement of it all!  i have a hard time containing it sometimes...i just sit here with my hands on my belly, feeling you kick, imagining what you might look like and how your sweet breath will smell while you are asleep in my arms and the soft smell of your hair after you have been bathed...and i just smile!

i love you so much baby...and i dont even know who you are yet!

  millions,

  ~ mommy

waist = 39.5 inches!

(pics will be posted when my computer is fixed/replaced!)

weeks 22 & 23...no pain, no gain!

the last two weeks have truly brought on a new set of challenges...most of which i would call painful!  there is no doubt in my mind (or in the the area i would have once called my hips!)  that you surely are a growing baby.  the amazing part is that i feel you moving, almost all day long!  and daddy finally felt you kick for the first time this past week.  I'm not going to lie, he was super excited...maybe even a little teary eyed!  if i had to guess i would say you are currently growing within me from side to side (hip to hip) instead of being head down and growing up and down.  and truthfully, I'm not so sure my body is handling your positioning very well!  it doesn't take much movement on my part for my lower back, upper legs and pelvis to hurt more than i ever remember.  good news is, its totally normal...bad news is, its expected to get worse!  but all for the love of you baby...i will do what i have to, take whats expected and try my best to be happy about it, knowing in my heart that it is all for your sake!

its crazy to me how quickly the weeks are flying by.  we had a doctors appointment today.  we are officially 23 weeks today.  we gained 5 pounds in the last 4 weeks, putting us up 9 pounds so far!  not bad, especially for me! i think at this point with your brothers i had easily put on well over 25lbs!  your heart rate today was 136 beats per minute, which is lower than your usual, but our doctor said you must have just been waking up from a nap!  we also received our preadmission paperwork today, that we need to fill out and get in the mail so the hospital is ready and waiting for us when the time comes.  its hard to believe we are at that point already!

as for you and your development, you are weighing in at approximately 1.5lbs and are nearly a foot long (about the size of a large mango!)  you have gained awareness to movement and certainly seem to be responding to sound.  you always seem to be in good spirits when I'm eating, although that movement sometimes makes me feel less than wonderful! 

i am expected to gain close to a pound per week from now until the time we deliver.  other than my soreness, I'm feeling pretty good!  and i am getting so anxious to meet you...I've questioned myself more than once whether or not it has been a good idea to keep your identity a surprise until you are born and although i know its the right decision for us, I'd be lying if i said it wasn't super hard.  its hard to not buy new things for you, not knowing if we will need girly or boyish...its hard to picture you in my mind, not know more about what your future features will look like.  i almost feel like i miss you because i haven't been able to draw a mental image of what you might look like.  but in my heart i know that we made the right choice, i know that in those first few seconds of your life outside the womb i will be more than thrilled to find out your deep secret!  either way, i love you millions and i know that you will be the piece that makes this family complete!

grow well baby, and take it easy on me! I'm trying my best :)

love you millions

  ~ mommy 

weight = 142 lbs

waist = 38 inches

(now bigger than daddy's waistline!)

weeks 20 & 21....they are going to quickly!

i cannot believe that we are beyond the half way point...ALREADY!  it's crazy to me how fast the weeks are flying by suddenly.  but whats even more amazing is how active you are becoming!  you sure do love to dance around little baby.  and i love feeling your movements inside me.  i have to say though, your daddy is becoming quite discouraged because he hasn't actually had the pleasure of feeling you kick yet.  I'm not sure how he hasn't, since i can feel you nearly all day long...but you are so comfy deep inside my belly, many of your kicks don't quite make it to the surface i guess! you should know though, the closer we get to your birth, the more and more we have to be ok with the idea of sharing you!  i cant keep you to myself forever :)

i have discovered this week that your sense of sound seems to be fully functioning.  whenever i turn on the coffee grinder at work you do a little dance until the very second i turn it back off!  I'm not sure if that means you like it or you hate it, but either way, it puts a smile on my face pretty early in the morning!  i also have outgrown nearly every sweatshirt i own and spent a few days this week wearing one of your dads shirts!  the heartburn has been coming and going, we have good days and bad.  the back pain is settling in for the long haul, especially on the nights when i wake up laying on my back!  i think you have found comfort somewhere near a nerve in my lower right side because i often get a numbing sort of pain in my right thigh!  the winter weather and stretching of my skin is making my belly quite itchy, but your brothers put much love and effort into rubbing lotion all over your growing space!  they think they are doing it for you, so someday, be sure to thank them!

i think we may have also settled on your potential names!  well, incase you might be a girl, we have had your name picked out for quite a while!  but in the event that you may join in the brood of boys, with your brothers, we needed to come up with a name that we loved as much as we love theirs! and im not going to lie, it wasnt easy...there were some that sounded ok, but we didnt love them.  then we thought we found the perfect name, until we were told what its true italian translation was - our minds were quickly made up that Vitelli would not be your name. we just couldnt see naming our baby "herd of cows"!!  but i think we have come to a final conclusion and so far we have gotten wonderful reactions to both the boy and girl choices, so the rest is up to you!!  you are the one that will make the ultimate decision!

as for you and your personal developments, you apparently are learning and practicing swallowing.  you have grown to weigh nearly 3/4 of a pound and you are about the length of a full size carrot (10.5 inches)  you also have been busy developing your eyelids and growing some eyebrows!  so many of the tiny details that will make you who you are!  and pretty soon your biggest accomplishments with be putting on weight, growing nearly a pound per week until you are big enough to join us on the outside of your well known comfort zone!

and so we continue, on the downward slope towards the finish line...counting down the days until you are in my arms!!

i love you so much baby

  millions

    ~ mommy

waist = 37 inches!