my super hero...

like many girls, i have always had one man in my life who has always been a constant, whom i have always looked up to.  the one man i know i can call no matter what the situation may be, no matter what time of day, someone i can always count on.  i know he will never judge, never criticize and always do what he can to help.  he is a man who has always found it easier to express his love with helpful advice and a helping hand, rather than the more emotional things in life.  but for that very reason, i have grown up believing him to be solid as a rock, there is very little that can break him down, and even less that will keep him down.  that man is my dad, my super hero...my invinsible one.

well today my dad sits broken, physically, in a hospital bed.  and that very fact fills me with so much joy because to be broken, means he is still alive.  i still have time to count on him, to hug him, to thank him for all he has done and continues to do in my life. 

my dad was in a motorcycle accident last night.  he crashed into the side of a car, driven by a man who wasnt paying attention.  my dad had no time to react and knew exactly what was happening to him before it even happened. 

he and beth were on their way home from Gowanda Harley Davidson, they were picking the bike up after having it in the shop for a week getting some repairs done on it.  less than 10 minutes from their house, my dad was approaching a right hand turn, where the two vehicles ahead of him were turning, he slowed down behind them..and beth was just a few seconds behind him.  she saw the whole thing happen.  she saw the black car blow through the stop sign, she saw my dads bike crash into the cars left front fender.  she saw my dad fly acrobat style over the top of the car.  the next thing she saw after putting her car in park, was my dad laying on his side in the middle of the road.  he wasnt moving, he wasnt making any noise, she really couldnt even tell if he was breathing. 

all the meanwhile, she had been dialing my phone number, the first thing i hear when i answered the phone was "bri, stay with us!"  she was frantic...my heart sunk.  the rest became much of a blur for both of us i think.  in a matter of moments, she was surrounded by witnesses and police. i had called frank, who left work and headed straight to the scene.  my neighbors came over to keep an eye on the kids until i figured out what i was going to do and where i needed to be. 

after much to do, my dad was taken by ambulance to ECMC, where he sat in the ER until nearly 7am this morning. the guy who pulled out in front of him was sent off with a citation - "failure to yeild to the right of way"...

after multiple CT scans, it was determined (thankfully) that there was no internal bleeding, there was no brain or spinal injuries...what he does have is his life, 3 broken ribs and a broken pelvis.  no fun, for sure...painful, without a doubt...but he is alive, he will recover and someday this will be just a memory.  surgery is not completely ruled out at this point, but the good news is, if they do operate it will only be to help his recovery.  surgery may enable him to get up and out of bed and moving around a bit sooner.  so we wait.  we wait and see what the doctors recommend and what decisions are made from that point on. 

i went to see my dad this morning, when i picked beth up to bring her home.  she needed to pack up some stuff for the two of them and make the necessary phone calls before she headed back.  but i have to admit, i was scared.  i cried most of the way to the hospital, partly because i was scared but mostly because he is alive.  i am so grateful that his injuries are so 'minor'.  God has such a way of being so wonderful in even the scariest of situations. 

i know it will be a slow process, but my super hero will be back soon enough.  taking my boys for rides on the John Deere (a much safer man toy in my opinion!), helping and teaching frank to do work on our cars, offering me words of wisdom and financial advice and finishing up the work on the house of his dreams.  i pray not only for a speedy recovery, but for my dad to have a chance to see life through a different perspective.  i pray that he lives life for today and stops worrying about what he "should have/could have" done.  he is and always has been such a wonderful man, a loving provider, a hard worker.  now i think its time he sit back and enjoy the fruits of his labor.  enjoy the many blessings surrounding his life.  enjoy the opportunities to do the finishing work on his house, to be grateful for the chance to do these things himself and be proud of it.  life is much to short to be anything less than happy! 

thank you to everyone who has been praying for him and our family in the last (nearly) 24 hours.   there are a lot of details that will take a while to unfold regarding so many aspects of this situation, so the continue of prayers is very grateful!  i will keep you all as updated as i can, with as many details as i know.  and if there any ways that "help" can be accepted, i will be sure to let those who have offered the details of those situations as well! 

and for now, my dad will rest and heal and gain an understanding of what it means to do "nothing"!  in time he will again be my rock solid super hero, but this time, i may be encouraging him to reveal his softer core!  i love you dad and thanks for the scare - i know now that i need to "bother" you during the day with the most random of phone calls, just to know i have heard your voice one more time.

summer traditions...

in just the last few years i have become a fan of summertime farmers markets!  nothing beats fresh produce and i am all about supporting the locals.  so today the kids and i packed up and headed out to the market in North Tonowanda, with the neighbors.  it was a first time visit for all of us and i know for sure, frank and i will be heading back before the season is over!!  we got some great stuff for very reasonable prices.  although the next time we go, it will have to be on a saturday morning - it may be crowded, but i hear there are many more vendors on thursdays and saturdays! 

after the market we headed over to mississippi mudds for some hotdogs and ice cream.  that has been a summer tradition of mine since i was a kid, so its always fun to be able to share that with the boys and by next summer Sicilya will be able to enjoy the tradition as well!!  we walked off lunch along the river. the water was so calm and relaxing...and as usual the boys thoroughly enjoyed the company of the girls across the street, as much as i enjoyed some adult conversation with their mom - aka, my BNF - best neighbor friend (according to her fiance!)

if only summer could last more than a mere 4 months around here....

we then eneded the evening with a delicious trip to bubble tea, where we met up with Jess!  the boys were a little rowdy when we first got there, but considering they downed their passion fruit bubble tea in under 10 minutes, i guess i shouldnt have been surprised - thats a lot of sugar!!  amidst several trips to the bathroom, jess and i were able to get caught up a bit on our crazy summer and enjoy each others company...and of course, relish in Sicilya's first trip to bubble tea!!

the best is yet to come...

i woke up at my parents house today (after a semi unexpected sleepover-which is a story in itself!) but i woke up to the fresh smell of a morning summer rain, the sound of the rain pouring off the roof and thunder in the not-so-far distance!  in so many ways this morning reminded me of this same morning 7 years ago...but in other ways it was entirely different.  for starters, my parents live in a different house now - we live in the house they lived in 7 years ago!  but more importantly was the person laying next to me this morning. 

on this day, 7 years ago, i woke up listening to the rain pouring off the roof, laying next to one of my oldest friends, a friend so dear to me that i asked her to be my maid of honor because i just couldnt imagine any other person standing beside me on one of the most memorable days of my life.  little did i know...

on this day, 7 years ago, i got up and headed to the salon.  i spent my morning being pampered with hair and makeup...craving nothing more than a cheeseburger and a dr. pepper!  the joys in life, right? little did i know...

on this day, 7 years ago, i put on a beautiful white dress and some high healed shoes...i crawled into the backseat of a limo with my two best friends and two of my cousins.  we had our pictures taken 1000's of times - oh, the memories! but little did i know.....

on this day, 7 years ago, i married a very handsome, devoted and loving 22 year old guy.  surrounded by our friends and family, before the eyes of God we made a vow to love each other no matter what, to stick it through even in the darkest of days and to sacrafice and compromise as needed, to validate each others feelings and fulfill each others needs.  we made a vow to spend the rest of our lives together and to do whatever it took to make it work!  little did i know...

on this day, 7 years ago, when the party ended we headed back to a hotel. we slept in a king size bed and we packed our bags and headed to the bahamas the next day for 10 days in sunny paradise!  little did i know...

little did i know that, today i would look back on the past 7 years of my life with a smile and a happy heart.  i will be the first to say, it hasnt been easy. there have certainly been times i wasnt sure we would make it through, but one thing always kept us fighting for our marriage, God and the commitment we made on July 31, 2004. 

little did i know that i woould wake up today, in my parents house...with my amazing husband by my side, our baby girl in her crib just a few feet away, the sounds of little feet running down the hallway to see if we are awake and ready for breakfast yet. that i would start my morning with snuggles and cartoons with 3 of the cutest boys i have ever know, homemade pancakes and waffles, because at Nonna's house everyone gets what they want! that i would lounge around in my jammies until its time to leave and then we all head to the grocery store for a promised trip to the candy isle, where i teach our boys the value of money.  and that we would then pile back into our minivan and head home, to the place that frank has lived nearly all his life. 

little did i know that i put my babies down for a nap and enjoy the simplicity of a nice quiet shower.  that i would choose a black dress - its slimming and i did just have a baby less than 3 months ago!  i would do my own hair, my own makeup and slip my feet into some comfy flip flops. 

then i thank the babysitter (debbie, thank you again!) and head out the door with the one man who has continued to make my dreams realities for the past 7 years.  we grab a coffee at starbucks, we make a stop at target, holding hands as we walk through the store looking for the perfect pink dust ruffle for our baby girls crib!  then we head off to dinner, where we not only enjoyed an amazing meal, but we even more so enjoyed each others company.  we laughed, we talked, we smiled into each others eyes...the things we rarely find the time to do in the chaotic beauty of our everyday life!

we finished the night off, not with a dance, but with a hand in hand walk through the park before we head home for a competitive game of Wii family game night!!

had someone told me 7 years ago all the things we have experienced, all the adventures life has taken us on and where we would be on this very day - i would have laughed, i would have barely believed them.  but i can tell you there isnt a moment i would have changed.  the journey we have taken has brought us to where we are today and there is no other place i would rather be.  this is what life is all about...these are the memories we are making!

happy anniversary to the man who has stood by my side and helped make our life as amazing as it is.  i love you frank!

its a wonderful life...

today is my birthday...i am 28 years old and for once, my age is becoming hard to believe.  for so many years of my life, i lived in a way that was older than my age and in many ways, i guess i still am.  but for the first time, I'm finding it hard to believe that I'm actually this old!  i can only imagine what 30 is going to feel like!!

i have to say though, i feel so blessed.  many people like to measure their life's successes by very materialistic things, money in the bank, cars in the driveway, careers and travels and various other possessions.  for me though, my successes wake me up every morning, they tell me thousands of times a day how much they love me, they hug me and rub my back, they brush my hair, they make me laugh...my successes make me angry in ways i never knew, they make me cry just by looking in their cute little faces, they scare me in ways that spiders never could, they have given me life's greatest promotion...from Shannon, to Mommy!

i may have had the same job for 9 years, taken a step forward and then stepped back again...i may drive a car that is 7 years old, but its paid off...i have surrendered to a mini van, something i swore i would NEVER do, but it gets my precious cargo where it needs to be safely...i may live in a house thats been in our family for nearly 30 years, but its full of love and memories. 

so much of my life may have turned out differently than i would have planned, but i have someone very important to thank for that...God!  He has created more wealth in my life than any human ever could have.  I am eternally grateful for the ways He has taken over my life, changed my course of direction and taught me to slow down.  life is such a precious gift and my past 28 years have shown me so much.  i have loved and i have lost, i have been angry and i have forgiven, but even more importantly i have been forgiven!  i wasnt always the person i am today, i havent always turned to God in the good and the bad, but when i look back i know in my heart that He was always working in me.  I am who i am today because of who i was back then and although i know there are things i wish i could have changed, i live with no regrets.  I hold my chin high, proud of the woman, the mother, the wife, the daughter, the sister and friend that i am today.  love me or leave me, take me as i am and know that i will give back to you in the ways that you have given to me!  i am grateful, i am blessed.

so today i celebrate my 28th year, watching my husband - my best friend -  splash around in the kiddie pool with our beautiful little boys, with my baby girl on my lap.  i soak in the sun and plant their smiles and laughter in my memory forever.  i enjoy a wonderful meal at Mangia with my husband, our daughter and our wonderful neighbors. i will pick our boys up from VBS and listen to their hearts explode with love for Jesus on our way home. and to make the day even better, when i get home i will enjoy cake and cookies with my beautiful family of 6 and our God-sent neighbors and their beautiful twins daughters. 

i may never be a billionaire, but i know in my heart i am one of the richest women in the world and i couldnt ask for more!

Amazed...

life in general is pretty amazing, from the big events down to the small details, i am so grateful for all that i have!  today had its reasons to stand out though.  for one, Sicilya is already two months old - crazy as that may seem!!  and although i find it totally hard to believe, i also still have that comfort with her that makes me feel she has been in our life forever. bringing her home has been such an easy transition, almost too easy, and it just adds so much to how blessed we already feel!

the real tear jerker though, was this afternoon...for a few months now we have been trying to explain to tuscan what it means to be baptised.  we had chosen not to baptise our kids as babies because its something we really want them to understand and chose for themselves when they feel ready to have that sort of relationship with God.  so, as babies, we had them dedicated in front of our church and our family.  our hope since tuscan was a baby was that we would have raised him with enough belief and understanding that he would maybe make the choice before kindergarden.  but we are also open to the idea that it may take a little longer for him to fully understand.  so today, i pick him up from VBS and he is telling me about his day, the things he learned, the friends he made, etc.  out of nowhere he says "ya know mom, i really want to be dunked in that water soon so that i can have Jesus in my heart forever."  my eyes filled with tears, my heart filled with joy, it was a moment that i will never forget!  tuscan is such a passionate little boy and his love for Jesus is something he is so proud of.  having heard him speak those words, without any encouragement from anyone else just gave me that reassuring feeling that we really are doing something right as parents! 

before dinner tonight, we headed over with the neighbors to their grandma's house a few blocks away and jumped in her pool!  even Sicilya had on her bathsuit and swam around with me for a bit!  of course, i forgot my camera, so there arent any pictures this time!  but she LOVED it and she looked adorable (of course!!)  then we finished the night off in our backyard with a box of bakery fresh cupcakes!  one of the many advantages to making friends with the neighbors - their family owns the local bakery!!

so big, too fast!

not only can i say that 3 month clothes are starting to look exceptionally cute on Sicilya, because they actually fit but tonight we have reached a milestone!  during a brief moment of tummy time, after the boys were tucked into their beds and the dog was outside, while the livingroom floor was momentarily safe...Sicilya decided that tonight would be a great night to roll over!!

i was shocked!  for safety reasons, i cant say she gets much tummy time in this house!   so by no means was i excepting much more than some bobbing of the head when i laid her on her blankie tonight.  but i should have known... everything about this baby has come as a wonderful surprise!  after less than a minute, my little bundle of pure sweetness rolled from her belly onto her back with less effort than it usually takes me!  and just to be sure she knew what she was doing and it wasnt some sort of fluke, i laid her back on her belly and watched her do it again!!  then i called frank.  moments like that need to be shared right away, otherwise - im likely to forget.

and now she lays here, on the comfort of the boppy on my lap as i type.  a position i know she will all to quickly grow out of, an opportunity i need to take advantage of every moment that i can.  it was only (already) 5 years ago that my Tuscan was doing the exact same thing, and now hes nearly to big to even sit on my lap!  im trying so hard to hold on to as many moments as i can while Sicilya is little, i know all to well how quickly they go by and i dont want to just go through the motions, i want to make my minutes count, as many of them as i can anyway.  life is precious, my children are my world and i just want to be my best for them and their daddy. i am so blessed!

pretty and pierced!

the day started off with an early phone call from Nonna, asking if the kids and i would like to hang out for the afternoon - shopping, lunch, etc...well of course that was an offer that i would never turn down! 

as i was getting ready for the day, a thought came to mind - Nonna had been talking about how she hadn't bought much for Sicilya yet because she really didnt need anything, so i thought it might be sort of special if Nonna was the one to be with us when Sicilya got her ears pierced!!  Frank and i have been talking about it for a few weeks now, so i knew he would be ok with it and to me, it just seemed like a special mother/daughter/nonna type of thing to do!  of course, with the love and support of her 3 big brothers!!

so after a shopping trip to kohl's and lunch at Red Robin, we headed over to the mall.  Nonna was a wreck and ill admit, i was a bit nervous myself.  we let the boys decide on which earings she should get, tiny gold hearts with little pink stones in the centers!  sadly, there was only one girl working, so we had to do each ear, one at a time.  there was some crying - but just from Sicilya...Nonna and i managed to restrain ourselves from breaking down in front of the crowd that had formed!  but Sicilya did amazingly well!!  it was no different than her reaction to getting shots last week, she was sound asleep in my arms just moments later as we were walking back to the car!

im so glad we did it while she is so little...ive been able to clean them without any reaction from her and she just looks soooo beautiful!  or should i say, extra beautiful, because she certainly hadnt been lacking in the beauty department! 

i never called frank to tell him we did it, so when he got home from work it was super cute to see his reaction when he noticed!!  he was so excited, there may have actually been a slight tear in his eye!  and for me, it was like a right of passage - ive wanted a baby girl for as long as i can remember and what makes her more girly than pink and purple clothes?  getting her ears pierced of course!!  i know many others may not agree with our decision, but my ears were pierced when i was a baby, im just carrying out a tradition!

ps - Sicilya also experienced her first drive-in movie tonight...we took the boys to see Cars 2, with the girls from across the street and their mom...of course, she was a wonderful baby the whole night, all snuggled up with us!

4th of july...

there are so many reasons to love summer and in our family the month of july is a pretty fun one!!  we kick it off with a celebration of our independence and that is followed by 3 very important birthdays, for 3 consecutive weeks, my dad, myself and momma beth!!

this years celebrations may have been the beginning of a new tradition with the introduction of our newest family member!!  we went to two evening parades, followed by fireworks, two days in a row and it was awesome.  it really gave us that small town america feel, with some wonderful family time, laughs, smiles and memories!! 

the boys were mesmerized by the fireworks, although matteo was so tired he slept through them on the 4th!  Sicilya watched the whole show on the 3rd, never flinching with the loud noises but she also slept through them on the 4th (that night was the weaker of the two shows!)

my lil girl, snuggled up in the new sling!!

shall we call her lady liberty!!

and just one more reason to celebrate!!

bottle...check!

we have been putting it off and putting it off, but with my return to work creeping up on us quicker than i would like to admit, we knew it was time to get serious about introducing Sicilya to the baby bottle!  we learned a lot the hard way when Tuscan was a baby and we knew we never wanted to go through the same experience again! 

today was the big day!  with Sicilya having been so lethargic all day yesterday i was able to pump a few ounces into a bottle for her.  so this morning, i headed off to the grocery store by myself!! it was only the second time in 7 weeks that i have ever left the house without her and of course, she slept the whole time i was gone!  but we didnt let that stop us.  frank warmed up the bottle and fed her as i put the groceries away and she didnt even fight it, not even a little bit!  she didnt drink all that was in it (which was disappointing to have to dump the rest down the drain) but i am still so proud of her!  she drank enough to feel content and gave me so much peace about having to go back to work.  granted i still have 6 more weeks home with her, but we all know how quickly these summer days go by, my first day back will be here before we know it! 

I have every intention of taking it one day at a time, enjoying as many minutes with my 4 beautiful babes as i can sneak into a day and worrying about the rest when the time comes!  life is to short to live it any other way!

7 week check-up!

Today was a day for celebration and a day of sadness...Sicilya had a doctors appointment today, her 2 month well visit, even though she is only 7 weeks! 

 the great news is, she weighs 10lb 8oz (up 3lbs since birth and in the 65%), and she is 22.5 inches 'tall' (up 2 inches since birth and in the 75%).  she appears to be growing and developing wonderfully!! 

the sad part was, she needed 3 shots and an oral vaccination today.  she did so well with all 3 shots, crying just a few seconds with each poke, although the cry got a bit more intense as the poking continued!  we made it home, quiet the whole ride in the car and for the first hour or so we were home.  then my poor girl turned into a baby i baby i barely recognized.  she appeared to be in so much pain, although she wasnt feverish (yet).  she curled her quivering lip and cried in a way i have never heard her cry.  my heart was breaking for her!  needless to say, i spent 4 hours just holding her in my arms. she slept soundly on my chest, unless i moved the slightest bit, breathed on her the wrong way or got anywhere near touching her little thighs.  then the saddest cry i've ever heard would start all over again!

by dinner time i had to call out for help. i had no idea how i was going to cook anything, since she barely made it through my putting her down just so i could run to the bathroom.  i knew she wouldnt be ok with me strapping her in the carseat to run to the store for tylenol...so i called frank, who sent jerry over on his way home with infant tylenol and a little ceasars pizza!!  i was beyond grateful...he saved our night in so many ways!!

thankfully the tylenol kicked in quickly, Sicilya was finally comfortable enough to nurse - for the first time since we had gotten home and the boys and i all had food in our bellies!  i feared it was going to be a long night with her, but another dose of tylenol before bed and we all slept like babies - only after staying out in the backyard till 11:00pm with the neighbors, a bonfire and smores! but hey - thats what summer is for, right?

i am truly grateful for this life i have been given and i would not trade it for anything!!