9 weeks, in lifes whirlwind...

This has been in interesting week, from many aspects.  I am grateful to say that Tuesday was my first feel good day in nearly a month...the nausea seems to have subsided and i am HUNGRY!! i just want to eat, eat, eat!!  but...that only happened just in time for my number one least favorite pregnancy symptom to kick in - my "laid back" digestive system becomes extra lazy whenever i am with child and that is now my new reason for not feeling well.  so imagine, excessive eating + lazy intestines = a not so great feeling in my belly :(  but if it means my baby is growing and healthy, i will take whatever i have to.  in the whole jist of life - this is only a mere 7 more months of my life! (sense my optimism today?)

but on the happy side, it is nice to have a bit more of my energy back, some days, but more often than not.  my belly sure seems to be getting bigger by the day!  and i love it! i love seeing the outward signs of you growing inside me.  (i just ask one thing, be nice to my belly button, im not so sure how much more it can handle!)  its amazing to see how much i have grown on the outside, when on the inside you are only about an inch...the size of a grape!  your brothers love my comparing you to foods.  eating is a true passion of theirs, so to tell them you are the size of something they can relate to makes them pretty excited!

mashed potatoes has been a favorite food of ours this week...and the sour cream and onion pringles are still being craved - maybe i should satisfy that one, what do you think??  i also think i could eat a subway pizza with chicken, banana peppers, green peppers and hot sauce nearly everyday - but i wont, for both our sakes!

there have been a lot of life choices weighing heavily on my heart this past week or so, regarding my choice to work, financial choices...all sorts of big things that i look forward to watching God work through our life as we prepare for your birth!  the thoughts that have come along with the discovery of you have been so amazing baby. already you have changed my life by changing my heart.  i love you more and more everyday!

a few more weeks until i get to see your tiny figure on that black and white screen again, but until then i continue to follow your growth on the internets estimates....its amazing to me that at just 9 weeks, one inch in length you already have fully formed eyes, 4 chambers in your heart, arms with chubby little fingers, legs with little webbed toes.  nostrils, lips and earlobes...all such tiny miracles...all details of the work of Gods hands.

love you millions baby,
  ~ mommy

waist = 34 inches

weight = 129.8 lbs

8 weeks and the word is out!!

For weeks now, you have been daddy and I's little secret and little by little we were sharing tidbits of you with the people we were closest to - but that is no longer the case in more ways than one!  Not only has it become apparent to us and those that know us well enough that my belly is growing, but we have finally been able to share your presence with the world!! Seeing you heart beating last week gave us the confidence from God that we were seeking, a sign that all is as it should be, that you are with us for the long haul!  So the secret is out baby!!  And we are all so excited!

The size of a kidney bean and already you are BIG news!! as usual, you have been quite busy again this week, not only with keeping me "under the weather", but also with all you own little accomplishments.  Fingers and toes, eyelids, breathing tubes...those are all pretty exciting.  not to mention all the neurological developements going on in your brain!  You are an amazing little being.  Keep up the good work and i promise ill do my best too!

i love you millions baby

  ~mommy

waist = 34 inches

weight = 128.5 lbs



7 weeks and beating...

Today was an amazing day.  We had our first doctors appointment this afternoon and not only did you get a perfect bill of health, with right on time measurements...but we were also able to catch a quick glimpse of your tiny beating heart and your brothers were even there to witness it (although matteo and vincenzo seemed more concerned with their suckers!)

My dear baby, you are only about the size of a grain of rice and already we were able to watch your heart beating, at a crazy 129 beats per minute!  that is just amazing...an amazing sign of God's work.  He is ever so carefully knitting you in my womb.  He knows just how many hairs you will have on your head and what color your beautiful eyes will be.  You are fearfully and wonderfully being  created, a true masterpiece at the work of God's hands!

Your tenative birthdate as of today is June 1st, although I'm sure that will change more than once between now and then!  Your tiny little hands and feet are starting to bulge out of the sides of your little body this week, as well as the development of your eyelids and button nose!  Veins are starting to form, so that little heart i saw beating has somewhere to pump your blood through!  And even more exciting for you, your umbilical cord is forming this week...which means you will start "eating" every meal with me pretty soon!  (Dont worry, i wont have any problem eating enough for us both!  well, assuming that maybe these bouts of nausea go away soon!)

Word is starting to spread a little bit more - once Nonna got the precious news that your heart was beating, she asked permission to tell all of your "aunties" at her office.  i can only imagine how excited they must all be for your future arrival!  they spoil your brothers quite a bit when they go in for a visit!!  Tuscan also had to tell his sunday school class this week "God put a baby in my mommy's belly when she was sleeping and now i am going to have a new baby!" 

Me: "Tusc, you werent supposed to tell anyone!"

Tuscan: "Mom, i know, i was just too excited to keep it a secret!!"

oh how i love that boy!!

He is also pushing the issue that we get your crib set up, ASAP!  he is worse than i am with the whole organization, get everything ready to go attitude! but he wants to be prepared!

We bought you your first two packages of diapers today - just to use up some great coupons!!  baby you have no idea how different the life of your family is going to be compared to the life we were living when your brothers were born.  It just makes me so grateful that we have gotten to the place we are at before any of you were old enough to know that way it used to be!  God has blessed our lives in millions of ways over the last few years and you are the ultimate reward!  We are just so grateful for everything and so excited to be able to share it all with you!!

stay well baby and grow big!

i love you millions,

mommy

week 7

waist = 34 inches

weight = 128.5 lbs

6 weeks and the secret is shared!

Oh how the excitement can build in just a week...although your dad and i are chosing to be cautious with how quickly we spread the word of your presence in our life, there were just a few people that we needed to tell sooner than later.  Three of them being you big brothers.  Several months ago the idea of us bringing another baby into the family came up, by them...votes for a brother vs. a sister, specificatation of just one, not twins and the big question - "how do babies get in your belly, mom?"

my answer was simple - "God puts them there!"

   "When mom?"

   my answer - "While i'm sleeping!"

so today we sat your brothers down after their nap and told them we had a surprise to share with them.

"Boys, mommy and daddy have a surprise we want to share with you."

responses..."is it new toys? a new puppy? a bear?"

well since we certainly dont need anymore toys, we just recently got two puppies and a bear is just a little on the silly side...this was what we had to say:

"Remeber that one time when you guys were asking how babies got in my belly and i told you that God put them there?  Well, God has put a baby in mommy's belly!  But its a secret so you can't tell anyone until God tells us that its ok.  Because sometimes when God gives you a baby you cant always keep it, sometimes he has to try again and give you a different one.  So once mommy goes to the doctor and God tells us we can keep the baby, then you can tell your friends about it.  But for now, it is very important that we pray for the baby everyday."

By this point the only one really listening to us was Tuscan and he was quick to respond, "Oh dont worry mom, i will pray as soon as i get in the car! (we were leaving to meet Nonna and Poppa for dinner!)  This makes me so happy mom!"  and he crawled next to me on the floor, lifted my shirt and sort of bounced my belly around like he was just amazed by the whole idea!

Then we went to dinner.  I already wasnt feeling very well - you have been doing a good job at staking your claim in my body and making my stomach pretty uneasy much of the day this week!  But know that i am grateful, because i take that as a sign that everything is as it should be.  Although, you add nervousness to that and it makes it a little harder to enjoy a meal!  So it wasnt until dessert - after about 15 trips to the bathrooms with your brothers, that i finally had the courage to bring it up!

    "so, you guys are possibly going on your cruise in june, right?  because frank and i were talking about our vacations for next year, and i think we will be taking one towards the end of may and we may need your help with the kids for a day or so..." 

     with bewildered looks on Nonna and Poppa's faces, i continued..."because we are having another baby!"  :)

it definitely took a minute for it to sink in for them, they looked a little surprised to say the least, but i think by the time we left they were both pretty excited!  You see baby, you are the missing link to our family.  May you be a boy or a girl, you are #4.  The final piece, the one that will tie us all together and make us - complete!

As this week went by, not only did we share the secret with some pretty important people, but you were pretty busy yourself!  You now have the beginning of your facial features and little buds that will soon become your arms and legs.  Your heart is starting to beat - although i wont be lucky enough to see it or hear it for a few more weeks, but it is reassuring to know that your blood is flowing!  You are about the size of a lentil but you already have the developments of a brain, muscles, bones and lungs!  it really all is truly amazing!

I am holding up well, although i am still beyond tired by the time it gets dark every night. I'm not the greatest company on the nights that your daddy is home because i fall asleep about 20 minutes in to any movie!  But he's a good sport about it!!  I have indigestion, no matter what i eat, from the time i wake up until the time i go to bed!  But dont think of this as complaining.  I will take on whatever i have to as long as it means you are safe and growing healthy inside me.  I'm your mom, and i am proud to say that thats my job - to take care of you!

next week, we go to the doctor! i can only pray that maybe we can catch a glimpse of you, if for no reason other than checking in the possibility of twins status!! Oh My!!  :)

i love you millions baby!

waist = 33.5 inches

weight = 127.5lbs

5th week of growing, 1st full week of knowing!

Its 5 weeks today that you have been growing inside me and although you are only about the size of a sesame seed, i am definitely feeling the changes you are bringing upon my body!  I wake up with a very sore back and the first thought in my head every morning is "Oh my, i have to go to the bathroom!"

 waist = 32inches

 weight = ?

Scientifically, this week you have developed from a small mass of cells into something moreso resembling a human tadpole! You have been divided into three layers which soon enough will be the beginning formations of all your major organs, neurological systems and circulatory system.

Although we are still weeks away from hearing your tiny heart beat, you should know that the thought of you and your development make daddy and I's hearts beat faster!  we cannot wait to see you on that tiny screen for the first time, to see your little heart beating and the first formations of your beautiful little body.  But until that day comes, we will continue to pray...we will pray that everything about you is as perfect as God can create.  We know that every piece of you is in his hands until the very first moment you are placed in ours, so until then we will trust Him.  we will trust Him to take care of you and to help me take care of myself while you are growing inside of me. 

To everyone other than me and Daddy your presence in our life is still a secret.  But that doesnt mean i havent noticed other changes in myself.  I am hungrier than usual and thankfully for us both, i am craving healthy foods like fresh veggies more than anything else! I am also feeling pretty tired these days, more so than usual anyway, so i've been going to bed about the same time as your 3 older brothers!  I've noticed my sense of smell has increased a bit, making some of the girls at work look at me like in kind of crazy sometimes! and i think it would be fair to claim that your dad thinks im kind of moody!  but thats just a matter of opinion!  I am also noticing myself taking a step back to enjoy your brothers, to watch them play and interact with each other...to take a deep breath soak it all in because i am really starting to notice how quickly it all goes by and i dont want to miss another moment!

i love you baby...and i will make it my daily duty to take care of you to the best of my ability!!

millions,

mommy

ps - yesterday your brother Vincenzo asked me if there was a baby in my belly when he was pushing on my boobies...all i could tell him was that there wasnt one in my boobies!!  :)

could it be?

there could never be enough words to describe the joy, excitement, nervousness and anticipation that goes along with the ideas of bringing a new baby into your life.  sometimes its an experience that you get to plan, other times it may catch you by surprise, but i must say that for me the most peaceful way to experience it was when i made the decision to leave it all in the hands of God.  opening your heart to his plan is sometimes the most challenging thing you can do in your life, but ultimately it is also the most beautiful and rewarding.  it comes with a certain sense of peace, a peace that assures you that everything is where its supposed to be and thats how you have come into our lives!
the suspision started about a week ago, the thoughts that maybe it could be true...the thoughts that maybe there could be YOU!!  by wednesday morning i could no longer stand the not-knowing and i took a test.  Maybe there was a plus, maybe it was just my imagination.  i wasnt sure and i didnt want to say anything to your dad until i felt certain. 
last night i was reading some other moms stories on the internet and i knew what i had to do...this time it was perfectly clear, there was no mistakening the two blue lines that crossed each other in that little square.  it was the first real sign that you were already growing inside me!  a smile spread across my face that i couldnt control and i dropped to my knees and started thanking God for the miracle of you, asking him to protect us both, to keep us healthy and to guide me to being the greatest mother i can be to you and your 3 brothers.

my first real "could it be true" thought happened last week when i indulged in my first "i have to have it" cheeseburger from burger king - a craving i  had experienced early on with my pregnancies with your brothers! i've been getting weird bursts of energy, intensely cleaning the house, taking the puppies for "runs"...(let it be known i have never voluntarily taken a run in my life!) but  i also have been much sleepier than usual, heading up to bed long before your dad gets out of work.  which is why i wasnt able to share the news of our newest blessing with him until i got home from work today! 
he was laying on our bed when i got out of the shower, with toben...i asked him to scooch over so i could sit with them...
"Frank, i think i have decided to let my hair grow long for awhile." - me
"Oh yeah" - dad
"yeah, at least until May" - me
your dad had a small smile forming on his face at this point. 
i handed him the first pregnancy test from wednesday and said i hadnt been sure, then handed him the one from last night and said that i was definitely certain! 
"we're going to have a baby!! but you better not tell anyone until i give you the ok - you hear me??!!" - me

so here you are, a small mass of cells, no bigger than a poppyseed and already we love you more than we could ever imagine possible.  you are a miracle from God, a product of our love and a piece of the puzzle that will only make us feel more complete!  i love you baby and i am looking forward to everyday of our adventure together.  the first sound of your heartbeat, the first glimpse of you in black and white, your first tiny kick...all moments that i am preparing my heart for, knowing full well they will all bring me to tears! and i will wait for that magical moment when i get to hold you in my arms for the first time, to kiss your tiny head and feel you grasp my finger in your tiny fist!  i hope you will always know what a blessing you are and how much we love you, even from the very start!

love you millions,
mommy

our FL trip in a nutshell...

cuz thats what we were, a bunch of nuts in one shell!! 

i can honestly say, i wasnt entirely sure what to expect going into this trip...10 people under one roof, 5 of them under the age of 5...for 5 nights!!  are we crazy??!!  YES!!  mandy and i have always been a little crazy....but i can honestly say that the week didnt fall into that category! what it did turn out to be was TOTALLY AMAZING!! Frank and i have by far declared it one of the best weeks of our life!  and i think our boys would totally agree!!  we went into this trip without any plans or expectations and i think that helped make it as successful as it was. 

we pulled out of our driveway around 10pm saturday night and drove...all night long...to Dave & Enna's house, where we pulled in a little before lunch.  Dom and Dana met us there, we had some awesome subs for lunch and then frank and i laid down - for what turned out to be a 4 hour nap!!  meanwhile, dave and enna bravely took our 3 boys, plus Nico, to an indoor bounce house place!!  what a blessing that was for us!  not only did it allow us to get enough rest to make it through our next night of driving, but it also tired the kids out so that our night of driving was a big success!!  and we were back on the road around 9pm...

first stop, Dad C's house, where we spent the day swimming with Frank's dad and his fiance and her son... it was such a wonderful visit!  my boys all got a good swimming lesson in with Grandpa Frank.  we ate a wonderful lunch and just enjoyed some good quality time together!  back on the road around dinner time, we had another 40 minutes or so until we reached our final destination, the Inglese house!!

when we got there monday night we were showered with surprises and we were just in time to order some pizza and hangout for a bit before we totally crashed for the night!

Tuesday - the day that set the tone for the whole week!!  mandy let her kids stay home from school which gave us the freedom to do whatever, without any time constraints...so our first stop, the pool! we packed some snacks and headed to the pool until lunch time and it was awesome!  we had the whole pool to ourselves and i was finally able to meet mandy's good friend heather! 

that evening we packed everyone up and headed up to Ft. Meyers Pier, with mandy's parents as well. we walked into a few of the shops, where my boys acquired their first package of Silly Bands! then headed toward the beach where we first spotted a school of small sting ray, followed by a living sand dollar,  sea star and a sea urchin.  in all my amazement with the sea life surrounding me, i made it perfectly clear that the two things i wanted to see most while in FL were manatee and dolphins!  the dolphins were quickly promised, but i was told the manatee would be a tough one.

we headed up to the pier and as i was about to buy the kids some suckers, everyone started shouting "shannon, theres manatee, come quick!!"  and much to our surprise, sofia spotted a clan of 4 manatee swimming right under the pier!!  it was breathtaking!

we ended the night with an awesome dinner and a pitcher of margaritas, ice cream and a God sent sunset!!

 

Wednesday - Kolby and Lucia were off to school and we were off to Vanderbilt beach for some fun in the sun!  and a giant sting ray spotting of course!!  about 5 feet wide, brown with white spots, just like Mr. Ray from finding nemo...and he was about 4 feet from the shore!  for a second he looked to be swimming right at me, but he made a quick turn and ended up about a foot and a half away from frank!  what a sight!!  playing in the sand was pretty awesome too, but seeing the bravery of my boys, splashing in the ocean waters...thats something i will never forget!

that evening we headed to downtown naples where the kids (+ mandy and i) had a blast on the playground!  we walked the naples pier and had some quickly melting ice cream after we watched some dolphins put on a pretty good show for us!

that night was officially declared "adult night"!! we got all the kids to bed and Bartender Anthony got the night going for us...the rest is history!  and it was just like old times...its always so reassuring to know that no matter how much time goes by, with true friends, you can always pick up right where you left off!  mandy and i have been friends for 13 years and you would never believe that we have now spent more of them in seperate states than we have together!

forever young (and crazy) at heart!!

to be continued....

my blessed life...

work work work, often i feel like thats all i ever do...i say that as i sit here working for the 3rd time today (2nd time from home)  and i know often i seem to gripe about how "its all i ever do" but deep down i am so grateful!  i am grateful for the opportunity to work from home, at my leisure, with total control over how much or how little money i make!  often i sit here in my jammies, with a cup of tea and a snack...my christian music playing on pandora, my kids giggling themselves to sleep in the baby monitor...i mean seriously what more could i ask for! (other than of course, for the debts to be paid off and the knowing that i really am working JUST for the fun of it!)

but i know that time will come, i just need to be patient and appreciative of all the blessings that surround me day after day.  i know with enough hard work now, when my kids are still at an age when they wont really remember...my time will come to be a stay at home mom and i am grateful to know that it should happen during the years they will really need me around the most!

frank and i have been so blessed...we swore when we got married that daycare/regular babysitters were something we didnt feel comfortable with for our family-and by the grace of God our plan has worked out...we might both work, but everyday frank is here when the boys wake up and i am here to tuck them in at night and somewhere in the middle it all overlaps. 

it often feels like chaos because one of us is always coming and going, but really, what parents life isnt full of chaos??  and i know...the best is yet to come! "wait till one has football and the other soccor all at the same time, etc..." i hear it often!  but with every stage in life comes its own handful of experiences that we can learn and grow from and i have learned through my own life that God will never give me more than He knows i can handle...and i trust that, with great comfort!

so please just know, whenever you may catch me complaining that "all i ever do is work" know that i am saying that with more appreciation than irritation...the frustration is only on the surface because i know i have a choice...but the gratitude is as deep as my soul - my "desk job" was a bigger blessing than i ever would have known to pray for.  it has provided a whole new lifestyle with so many opportunities and given me yet one more reason to feel proud of my family and who we are becoming.

frank and i are such a good team.  he is certainly my soulmate and i couldnt imagine sharing in this wonderful life with anyone else.  God sure does know what He's doing!

and the best is yet to come...   :)

the 2nd dash...

to make a long story short - our pastor got into his reasoning for chosing to follow Christ when he did, verses any other religious leader out there...it was such a breathtaking, Gods hand in the works, kind of story that he opened our Easter Sunday sermon with, but the one line that stuck with me the most today was this...(forgive me that i will never be able to type it with the same power that he spoke it with...)

"when i was on my spiritual journey, searching for what fit for me there was one thing that stood out the most about Christ...the second dash...he has a birthdate, followed by a dash, followed by his death date and then a second dash..."

Jesus is the only one, out of all the other religious leaders to ever exsist that has an empty tomb.  He is the only one that was able to conquer death...even the tomb could not hold him...

As Pastor Chris said this morning..."its that second dash that gives us Hope"

and really, i had never thought about it that way before.  i can honestly say that growing up i believed in God and the story of Jesus, but it wasnt until about 8 years ago that i really accepted Christ into my life and called myself a Believer.  For the last 8 years i can honestly say that i understand what it means to have a relationship with God and its AMAZING!  what a difference it has made in who i am, how i view life, my marriage and the way i parent.

so today i celebrate my Lord and Savior and i want the world to know how eternally grateful i am for the life He has given me to live here on earth and even more so, i look forward to the days that will follow this life once i arrive in heaven.  I dont fear death because i believe in the one and only God that has proven there to be something better when our time here on earth is over

...the best is yet to come :)   (and on such a greater scale than you and i could ever understand!)

day off?!?!

a day off...what is it exactly that a working mother does with a day off?? 

well today for me...

~i was up by 730am to see Frank off to his mens breakfast with the church

~fed our 3 guys and had myself showered by 830am...

~by 900am the 3 of them were dressed and we were backing down the driveway on our way to party city - spiderman birthday party supplies were on the list!

~by 1030am, the van was gased and we were on our way out to meet Frank at our parents house for an easter egg hunt by 11am.

from there it was back to Nonna and Poppa's house for lunch, coloring eggs, digging up rocks in the lawn, cleaning up Cenzo after he fell in the mud...

by 330ish we were back in the van, where 2 out of my 3 took full opportunity for a nap, which in turn detoured me into the drive thru at my work - i needed a coffee...even if it was decaf!

from there i stopped home to grab bowls and forks and headed to Frank's work for a "picnic dinner with daddy" in the van!

back home by 530pm to bake Easter cutouts, give the boys a bath and get them to bed by 8pm after watching a bit of Cars and reading them a story.

a shower for me, a few minutes on the computer and i was back to the kitchen frosting pink tulips, blue eggs and chocolate bunnies!

somewhere in there i also managed to wash/dry 2 loads of laundry and get two other loads folded and put away.

needless to say, by the time frank got home around 11:15pm - i was more than ready for bed but told him my hope is that one day i will be able to not work at all and have the time everyday for the things that mean the most...my kids, my husband and my house - when there is balance there is pure happiness - someday ill find consistancy in them both!!

...the best is yet to come :)