my first and very own...

NOT ME MONDAY!!

so here i go, its my first attempt at a not me monday posting...i enjoy reading the ones posted by others but was never sure i could do it myself...but with the day i had today i think a "not me" is the only way to post about it!

i absolutely did not suggest we pack the boys up and take an impromptu trip to the zoo at 9am this morning. doesnt sound like a bad idea, except for the fact that i thought it would be a really great way to avoid making any/cleaning any messes around the house today! and fortunately everyone had a blast. although i did not promise Tuscan that the next time we go Lucia would be going with us, and they could ride the train and the merry go round together and maybe even play in the sand pit...nope, not me, i didnt say that! (mandy you should maybe send her up here a few weeks sooner!)

i did not take the lazy way out of life today, in prepration for the afternoon i was anticipating, and take a nap while the boys were napping. i would never do that, i am super mom! (thank goodness i really did though, cuz boy oh boy, was it an afternoon!)

i also did not make mac-n-cheese and sausage for dinner, only because i knew it was easier than cooking something the boys werent going to eat. no one feels good, so when all else fails, make them the easiest dinner you know they will love no matter how poor its nutritional value is!

i did not ban taenato from coming in the house because he had poop on his paw and i was to frazzled to deal with it, i wouldnt do that - its almost animal cruelty! but maybe i did do that because maybe i thought he deserved it after all the messes he has made in the house the last few days. he isnt feeling well and has been making us very aware of that since we woke up saturday morning, right before the funeral when we had to scrub the carpet, the kitchen floor and the bathroom floor because he had gotten sick apparently 10 times during the night. then he got sick during the night again last night and while we were at the zoo this morning...

i certainly did not and never would put my kids in the bathtub with the intent of using the time to get things done upstairs. kids in a tub dont make messes around the house! but i wouldnt have been doing things like scrubbing the mess on the carpet from while we were at the zoo...or running up and down the stairs twelve times to check on the kids in the tub, to find that not only did tarzan decide the dinning room floor was a great place to poop while i was bathing the babes but i was also finishing up the transaction with the roofers who stopped by at a not so great time. none of these thing are things i ever would have done.

but certainly and without a doubt, for anyone who really knows me, you know there is no possibility that i killed a spider today, not with my bare hands, but with a baby wipe! thankfully and surprisingly i did muster up the courage to do this one and i will claim ownership to it but only with explaination...the spider was in the twins bedroom, right next to cenzo's crib. i had to kill it, i had to overcome my horrible fear for the sake of my child.

so thats "not" me today...hope your day was a little better! im off to address thank you cards now!

thank you nani...

i am sending out a special thanks to Nani today, not only for all the amazing things she has done for our family and anyone else who entered her life while she was alive, but also for the amazing things she has done in the last few days.

it all started on Monday and maybe somehow we should have taken it as a sign then that something was going to happen, but who knew...sometimes the small things don't stand out quite as much until something bigger has happened. but anyway, frank was on the phone out on the deck, talking with a friend from church on Monday afternoon. he has spent much of his life dealing with his struggles in a less than desirable way and more recently decided to head down a fresher, healthier avenue, an avenue that has brought him closer to God. so he was talking with this friend from church, setting a plan to get together the next day for a nice walk in the park to chat. well while he was on the phone a humming bird was buzzing around in our apple trees! for anyone who does not know, humming birds were a really big thing with Nani, she had all sorts of humming bird nic-naks, etc...so at that moment frank just thought it was pretty cool that something so rare decided to check out our apple trees while he was standing right there! we actually have never seen that happen before! then one day later, just hours after having an amazing life talk with his friend from church, we get the news that Nani has moved on to a greater place, a place we can only hope to end up when our time on earth is through.

driving home from her wake today, i looked at frank and said "do you think maybe that humming bird was Big Papa, checking on you to make sure you were OK before he took Nani home with him?" it gave us a chill. it seems so possible because that is just the kind of people they were. there is a reason that Nani survived as a widow for so many years, she had a lot more people she needed to "take care of" before she could settle down and just be a wife for once!

with that being said, she looked gorgeous today...it may seem like a strange thing to say about someone laying in a coffin, but she truly did...she looked youthful and radiant, not what you would expect a 93 year old woman to look like. she looked peaceful and happy and you could just feel the light and refreshing air about the room. it was a beautiful day here today, just the kind of day you would expect to have when celebrating the life of such an amazing woman. as hard as it may have been to let her go (we have all been holding on for a long time now) there is certainly something peaceful about saying a final goodbye to someone here on earth, with the confidence of knowing you will see them again someday. there is no doubt in my heart that Nani is hand in hand with Big Papa in heaven, looking down at all of us with a warm smile, sending her love through sunshine, blooming flowers (or Christmas cactus for that matter), humming birds and even the rain. rain is in the forecast for tomorrow, not something you want surrounding you on the day of a funeral, but in Nani's case, it will be a different kind of rain. a cleansing rain. a refreshing rain. a rain that reminds you, tomorrow is another day, a day worth living, with a clear mind, a peaceful heart and a refreshed soul.

in so many ways, i wish i would have put forth more effort into strengthening the relationship i had with Nani. but i know she loved me, i could see it in her face every time she held my boys, i knew she was proud of what frank and i have accomplished together. and i knew she understood. time is of the essence and make the most of what you have. nothing is more precious than our children and they wont fit on our laps forever!

so tonight, i thank you Nani, for being the tree trunk of our family for all of these years. you have been the base of such a large family tree and through you we have all remained so close over the years, growing even closer more recently. it was times like your surprise birthday parties (for your 90th, 91st and you 92nd and even your 93rd!) that we would all get together and realize how much fun we all had and my promise to you is to use the birthdays of your great great grandsons to continue those family gatherings. you will always be in our hearts, not a day will go by that we will not think of you, our children will know your stories better than the most famous nursery rhymes and they will sing dominic the donkey at every christmas eve dinner! they may not remember you the way that their dad and uncles do, but they will know your legacy and hopefully through their grandma, they will be able to relive the memories that frankie, dave and dom have in the country. God bless you Nani, the way that you have blessed us. we will love you forever and ever and we'll see you again someday, so until then, enjoy your time with Big Papa.

love, shannon, frankie, tuscan, matteo and vincenzo

a loss to us but a blessing in heaven...

i cant say that i have always felt this way, but since becoming a believer and putting my trust in God, i now feel more content with the idea that the ending of a life here on earth is something to celebrate rather than something to be sad or angry about. and i believe this even more so when you lose someone that you know was also on the right side with God. and that is the case i am dealing with tonight....

around 945pm last night, frank and i were watching the end of a movie when we heard our front door open. we expected my brother and lindsey for a game of cards, but instead we were surprised by my dad and beth, in tears...

approximately 8:00pm last night, our dearest and most beloved Nani peacefully took her last breath, while safely tucked in the comfort of her bed at the erie county home at the age of 93. it had been a day like any other, with one small suspision...she was apologizing to all her nurses for being a "crabby old lady" recently. well for any of you who have had the pleasure to know Nani, you can probably laugh at the idea of her claiming to be crabby...it doesnt happen!

i have had the pleasure of being a part of Nani's life for about 8 years now and in these years i have learned so much about what it means to be a good, honest and pure person. i regret that i never put more time into hearing more stories directly from her about her life, the lessons shes learned and the experiences she has had. but i know, from the stories that i have heard that she was a beyond exceptional woman. she was a wonderful devoted wife, to a man that passed before i became a part of the family. but from what i have heard he was just as amazing. they were able to share life together for a few years more after celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary! that alone is such an accomplishment...50+ together years is something i pray for everyday.

Nani was a birth mother to 4, an adoptive mother 3 and a foster mom to over a 100 more over the years. she was a grandmother, a great grandmother and beyond that...a great great grandmother to 4, with two more on the way! now that is something to celebrate!

i cannot even begin to describe how much it means to me and frank that we have had the opportunity over the last 3 years to share our children with such an amazing woman. i know they may be to young to actually have memories of her, but we have pictures and that is more than enough. we will be able to tell them stories about their nani as they are growing up and keep her spirit alive through the pictures we have taken over the years. it makes me sad to know they wont remember her love like we will but its her love that will prove as an inspiration to us to love our kids more everyday, to love each other more everyday. Nani loved everyone, to everyone she was Nani...it was a true rarity for anyone to call her by her name, Carmella...which was actually even her middle name. i didnt know until more recently, her first name was Mary...but Nani just suited her so much better!

i could probably go on typing forever and ever. but i will stop here, ill keep it simple, because i know that is just the way Nani would have wanted it. she wasnt the fussing type, and thats just one more thing that was so admirable about her!

and the birthday continues...

we had originally planned on taking tuscan and the boys to chucke cheese for dinner on sunday, for his birthday dinner...but we sort of figured that a baseball game and chucke cheese, all in one day, on a day that no one took a nap...not a good idea! so it gave us a reason to stretch his birthday out just a little bit more and we took them on tuesday evening. it was a first time for all 3 of them and tuscan had a blast! the twins were much more intimidated by most of it. they didnt like things that moved to much or made to much noise, obviously they just dont get out often enough! tuscan had a blast in the overhead tunnel system though. he played up there more than he played any of the games! so frank and i got to play like kids for a bit and use up the tokens, then tuscan was more than excited to trade the tickets all in for candy!

on our way home tuscan had the opportunity to enjoy his first packet of pop rocks!! he thought they were pretty amazing...loved the noise they made everytime he opened his mouth...and i was so excited to be able to share with him one of my favorite childhood candies!

saturday was the big day though, the much anticipated bedroom delivery day! tuscan woke up saturday morning chanting a song about his new bed and a big truck. he was clearly extremely excited! so when the truck driver called and said they were 10 minutes away we were quick to put our shoes on and meet them in the driveway!

patiently watching the men put his bed together...

helping me put the dust ruffle and sheets on, because he was to impatient to wait till everything was in his room! (wonder where he gets that from? - me)

the bed all put together...the pics of the rest of the furniture will be posted at a later date, i want to get the thank you cards sent out first! so for many of you, watch your mailbox next week!

but he totally loves his new room, i totally love all the space i have to put his clothes away. seeing him sleeping in such a big bed is a constant reminder every night that he is growing up way to quickly. he is so far from being my baby boy now! but i am loving him more and more everyday...he is so amazing, sometimes i find it hard to believe that he is actually mine!

so thank you again to everyone who was able to join us at tuscan birthday party, and to those of you who also contributed to his new bedroom set. we are so grateful for the wonderful people in our lives who have blessed us beyond belief! we love you all!

happy birthday to tuscan!!

it is beyond hard for me to believe that three years ago from right now tuscan was just a little over an hour old, my body was shaking like crazy from using all my might to push out all 8lb 2oz of him and the epidural wearing off...i remember being so willing to let frank and our parents hold him so that i could finally eat the philly cheesesteak i had been craving all day! i will never forget the joy in my heart the first moment that i saw his chubby little cherub face and heard his newborn cry...

its the same joy i feel when i see his little face everyday! in the last three years he has become more amazing than i could have ever pictured a son to be. becoming a mother is something you can never really imagine until you are finally blessed enough to experience it. yes it has its tougher days, but those arent the days you remember. not to say you forget the fact that there were sleepless nights in the beginning, days when you wondered what to do next or even how to start the day...but you dont remember the details of those days...the details you remember are things like the first time they woke up from a nap and called out "momma" or the day the named their favorite blankie "Nie" or the first time you played in the grass, the first shopping trip, the first time they got to meet your best friend...its the look on their face every time they see you walk through the front door or opening their bedroom door to get them up from a nap. its the way they hug you and say "love you momma" and you just feel in your heart that they mean those words more than anyone else who has ever said them to you. there is nothing in this world that compares to the love shared between a mother and her child. and i feel so blessed everyday that i have been given a chance to feel that love, times three! i dont know what i ever did to deserve three adorable and beyond loving sons, but there must have been something good in my past at some point!

a new game!! yeah...

their first baseball game together...and it was just the two of them!



three candles, for three wishes, for a three year old boy!


and the sweet faces of his amazing little brothers!


can you guess who is who?

come on, leave me a comment, lets see if you can tell these boys apart yet!

so happy 3rd birthday to my baby boy...i love you so much tuscan and i am so proud to be the one that you call "mom" i hope the next 100 years of your life leave behind as many happy memories as the ones you have left this past 3 years. you are an amazing little boy, a wonderful big brother and one of the greatest sons a parent could ever ask for! ( i have to be careful how i word that...there are two more behind him that will one day know how to read!)

a little cry goes a long way...

just when you think your life couldnt get any better a surprise gift from God pops up in your mailbox. (if the anonymous sender happens to be reading this, i hope you know how much your generous gift is appreciated!) frank and i truly are so blessed in so many ways and we are starting to see how good things happen to good people! we have our moments, our days, that are less than pretty...but through them we have been learning and growing and i can finally say that we have reached a point where we have felt pretty successful at doing so. our hard work as parents, as husband and wife and at our jobs really seems to be paying off lately and apparently people are noticing and helping us to recognize our accomplishments and that means more than any surprise showing up in our mailbox!!! surprises are just added bonuses that really make the tears start flowing...happy tears of course!

so with this today, i had the most amazing cry this afternoon...one of those spill your guts because you feel so unworthy cries with God. i havent had one of those in such a long time and to be honest, i have been intently praying for a moment like that with God for quite some time now. every week when i sit in church i notice my mind wandering during the sermon, not because i am not interested or that our pastor is boring, but because its the only hour of the week that i actually have "time" to think! and then i catch myself and i ask for Gods forgiveness and i pray that he help me clear my mind enough to fully listen to his word as it is being taught to me, because he knows more than anyone how much i need to learn! well today i think i got the slap in the face i had been asking for and i couldnt be more grateful. since joining our small group a few months ago, frank and i finally feel as though we belong to our church as a family. its been something we have been seeking and praying for since we moved back home. our church family in CO was something we will never forget and something we greatly look forward to getting in touch with this summer! but today was a true reassurance that we do belong to something so wonderful here, The Vine Wesleyan Church, our new church family. a place we can run to in times of trouble, celebrate with in lifes joys and cry with in moments of sorrow. its a feeling greater than words could ever explain and all i can say is if you dont know the feeling i am talking about, i pray for you that you somehow find it because it is irreplaceable.

on another note...tuscan woke up from his 2 hour nap today with a completely dry diaper!! yeah tuscan...i was so proud of him, we did a little dance together in celebration!

it rained here most of the day, finally, my poor landscapping has needed the rain terribly! but that means ill need to spend some serious time out there in the next few days weeding...oh the price we pay! but i will be optomistic and look at it as Gods way of getting my butt outside to enjoy the world surrounding me. i have to take advantage of my outside time while i can because once the pollen starts flying the thought of the great outdoors will probably make me sneeze!! oh hay fever...at least this spring i can take some allergy medicine, i feel like its been a few year (of pregnancy) since i was last able to do that!

and now i am off to make my grocery list...its gonna be a big one, setting a strick budget doesnt leave much room for stocking up, so this is my big every-few-months stock up trip, we need meat, cereal, pancake mix, fluff, juice, pasta, sauce, some quick dinner items...the works! my boys are already starting to eat me out of house and home! i can only imagine the teenage years...

and if im lucky to have enough energy when that is all said and done, then i might scrap a page or two, cuz i dont have to work in the morning...yeah me!!

our Earth Month!

so as you have seen, i havent been blogging much lately and i think i can honestly say that its for two reasons. reason #1 - lack of time, energy and creativity. reason #2 - i guess i feel my life hasnt been exciting enough for anyone to read about. but for those of you who love me for who i am and really want to know the more intimate details of my days, here it goes.

in many ways this has sort of been an Earth Day month in our house....

• tuscan and i started a project this spring...planting seeds! last fall i saved all the seeds out of the centers of my marigolds and this year we decided to plant them. so we started saving plastic containers (reuse!) from yogurt, butter, playdough, we also used some old formula cans that my dad had saved. they are all lined up on our livingroom window sill and surprisingly they are growing quite well. if they are big enough by the end of may i have every intention of putting them out at our yardsale to see if we can make a few dollars! i figure if i put tuscan out there asking people if they want to buy a flower - we should make a killing!! no one seems to be able to say "no" to him, especially when he shows them "the eyes"!

• frank and i started a new garden out in the backyard. last year we had wanted to put up two chunks of white picket fencing but when we found out we would need a permit to do it we opted not to. it would have potentially cost us up to $300 in fees to put up $150 in fencing...no thanks! so instead we decided to create a more natural barrier! we extended our exisiting flower bed to stretch across the length of our backyard. in it we planted iris that kellie had sent me from OK last year before she moved, in addition to purple allium that i ordered at the end of the season last year. we also transplanted a shrub that we had in the corner near the house and some yuka (spelling?) and lillies. so hopefully it will all blossom the way we have envisioned it. there is still a lot of thinning out to do in the exsisting flower bed, but at least we have a head start early on in the season!

our new flower bed...

my much anticipated arbour!!

• for Earth Day, the kids and i watched Wall-E, courtesy of Kellie when she was here. and earlier that week i got a great deal on a pair of Wall-E sneakers for the twins...$5 with a coupon at famous footwear, cant beat it...so they took turns wearing the new kicks around the house for the day! i also made a vow that day not to use any of my major appliance, ie -dishwasher, washing machine, etc...and i was successful! needless to say that caused a minor back up on the laundry situation but it was worth it. its the least i could do after all the diapers my family has created in the landfills the last few years!!

the twins bottles recently made their way into the recycling bin...they were becoming less and less interested in the bedtime bottles, so one day while unloading the dishwasher i decided enough was enough, i needed more room for sippy cups and the bottles had to go...and they did! never to be thought about again! they now march their little bottoms up the stairs (no more carrying by mom), they brush their own teeth and get a sippy of water - which always ends up getting thrown out of the crib and onto the floor, along with their blankets before they fall asleep...crazy kids!

tuscan is completely daytime potty trained and takes care of business all by himself (aside from turning on the sink to wash his hands-his stool doesnt help him reach that far), but no pull ups - not even when out in public or driving in the car! but he does still wear a diaper when napping or to bed at the end of the day. somehow he cant figure out how to not pee while he's sleeping, i keep reminding him...but we're still working on it! any suggestions? (as i am typing right now i am watching him take all his clothes off and change into his jammies all by himself. apparently when you approach the age of 3 you become immensely independent!)

frank and i took the kids to his resturant for dinner last night...family date night- partly to celebrate tuscan's birthday yet again! and i have to say, it was wonderful! im sure there are many families in america that dread (to say the least) taking 3 little kids, babies if you will, out to dinner at a less than family oriented resturant! franks resturant is no applebee's, although it is still quite casual. but they were perfectly well behaved! just one more outing that made us so proud to be parents. tuscan drank his very own shirley temple. all 3 of them were eating calamari! they each ate their dinners without any fuss and shared an enormous piece of multi-layered chocolate cake! the couple that was sitting behind us stopped at our table before they left to tell us that we had a beautiful family, our children are extremely well behaved as they had nearly forgotten there were 3 little kids sitting behind them and that we as parents were doing an amazing job! another family stopped us on our way out, to say just about the same thing, as well as two older woman who were standing outside! i know there are times when i dont see it- because im the mom - but frank and i truly have been blessed with remarkable children and without even trying they do such a good job at making us so proud everyday!

as we laid in bed last night, we couldnt help but chuckle as we were recapping on our day. we love our life, there is nothing more we could ever ask for right now, nor could we have ever imagined being so content at a time when we thought our life couldnt get crazier!

if He brings you to it, He will bring you through it. and with much grace if your lucky!

tuscan's birthday party....

i feel like a bad mom, i have been horrible about blogging lately - ever since i started working from home my internet time has really diminished...and i cant even promise that i will try to get better at it!

but here is a recap - there hasnt been to much exciting going on in our life lately, which could actually be a good thing for once. but we did have tuscan's birthday party this past weekend and kelly came down for a visit with riley! the party was amazing, very laid back which gave me a lot of time to actually visit with my guests. the kids were all so well behaved, the food of course was amazing ("mad good" if mandy was here!) the weather was better than we could have ever prayed for and tuscan was truly blessed. when i sent out invitations for his party, there was a little poem along with it "from him" and this is how it read:

i know it might seem silly, since im only turning 3 but this year for my birthday ashley furniture is the place for me. im getting really big now and im going to be starting preschool so this year for my birthday a new bedroom set would be really cool! i hope you can make it on my birthday party day, if not you'll have to come over on another day to play. i hope you like my letter, its my birthday boy wish a chance to share my birthday with you is something i wouldnt want to miss! so much love, tuscan

and not only did i get quite a few compliments on this years little jingle, but it also made it easier for people to decide what to get him! and it helped us out tremendously!! i have to say though, the best part was seeing the look on tuscan's face yesterday as he walked up to the counter at ashley furniture and handed the guy his envelope of birthday money to pay for his new bed!! i have never seen my little boy so proud!! so yes, the set is ordered, his bed and two dressers...pics will be posted once its delivered - hopefully by next weekend! but for now, here are a few pics from his party.

if you would like to see more pics, ill be sending them through snapfish - if you do not receive them then you must not be on my snapfish mailing list, so just leave me your email address in the comments and ill be more than happy to send the pics your way!! and to everyone who was able to celebrate the wonderful day with us, either by your presence or presents, watch for a thank you card/picture from tuscan coming in the mail soon!

i also received my birthday present a little early, over the weekend - the wooden arbour that i have been eyeing at the craft shows for the last 4 years, that i finally decided to buy this time last year, ended up unsuccessfully going to 3 different craft shows to get it and was finally able to special order for this year!! ill post pics of that sometime this week when i can sneak out in between the rain drops. its gorgeous!!

we will be putting the down payment on our new roof this weekend. so hopefully in a few weeks my house will stop crying everytime it rains!

and i have also joined a MOMs group through our church. we meet every other friday from now till the end of june. i've gone to one meeting so far and i really am enjoying it. it is exactly what i need, especially now that our marriage bible study is taking time off for the summer! god has been amazing in our life lately and i guess maybe i should set myself a goal to blog everyday again, even if its just a small statement about how God worked in my life for the day because He truly has been very present lately and i am loving every minute of it!

our easter...

we have been so blessed in so many ways the last few years, i couldnt even count all the times i have been so amazed at God's love and the way He has worked through me and my family. the number of things that i have been so grateful for is absolutely countless and He doesnt stop, His love continues to grow and He keeps on blessing us although we are in so many ways, so unworthy. this weekend, like many other holidays, in many ways can feel so commercialized, the eggs, the baskets, the candy, the bunny...but it is so important to keep in mind that Easter is a holiday that should be recognized by us for the resurrection of our Lord. the candy is just a bonus!

i so often go through the motions of my daily life, grateful for the Lord and all that He does for me on a daily basis, but all to often i look past His greatest sacrific. we all know that Jesus died on the cross for us, but how often do we really think about what that truly means. my pastor had a good point this weekend...at any given point, while Jesus was being nailed to that cross he could have used his godly powers to set himself free...but that wasnt his purpose in life. the purpose of his life was to live amongst us, as we live and to die for our sins so that we could be forgiven. how amazing is that! and in return all we have to do is believe and ask for forgivenness...seems like a pretty small sacrafic on our part, in comparison, if you ask me!

and for the commericial side of easter...the boys sure did have a lot of fun searching for their eggs and baskets!!

and then we spent a relaxing afternoon at our parents house with nani, my grandparents, my brother and his girlfriend...thats what holidays are all about!

5 generations, 90 years apart...

since when...

since when has it ever been such back and forth weather here?? it almost reminds me of living in CO again!! snow the last two days and sunny and breezy today...its only about 50 outside, but nice enought to dig up and replant a bush, transplant lillies and weed some flower beds!! its been nice to because with the rain one day, sunshine the next routine it really has kept the ground soft enough to dig easily... the kids were all so happy to spend a few minutes out of the house today too. i wish it would have been a tad bit warmer because we may have been able to get a little more done before the twins decided it was time to go back in, but we do always seem to make the mistake of starting outside projects with lunchtime right around the corner. i have to say though, we were pretty happy with what we did get accomplished! i cannot wait to see our yard this summer, with all the stuff we have transplanted and all the bulbs i am in the process of planting - we just might have the prettiest yard in town! ill be sure to post some pics when things arent so small and surrounded by dirt!