12 weeks...one giant milestone behind us

i can not believe that i am already leaving the first trimester of this pregnancy behind me!  its such a bittersweet feeling.  in so many ways (all the ways i havent been feeling well) i am so grateful and knowing what the future has in store for me and my growing baby makes me excited to be entering the next step!  i am becoming very anxious to start feeling some real movements, to lay in bed at night and see my belly bouncing around, to have the boys tell you stories so their voices are familiar to you when you finally join us on this side!  but it also saddens me because i know i am saying goodbye to the first step of something i love so dearly.  sick or not, i LOVE being pregnant!  it is such a wonderful feeling - its not everyday you are blessed enough to have a miracle actually growing inside of you, and for that very reason, i try very hard everyday to savor at least one moment alone with you baby.  for i know that our personal, one on one time together is going to pass by all too quickly and that soon enough i will be sharing you with everyone around us!  i know, selfish...but what can i say, right now you really are all mine!

they say that right now you are about the size of a lime...its amazing to me how much you have grown in such a sort time!  you kidneys have started to function, as well as your pancreas and liver.  your brain has obtained its basic structure and will continue to grow and develop.  and your tiny little body is nearly covered in fine baby fuzz (they say it should be transparent, but that hasnt been the case with any of your brothers, so we'll see if it holds true for you or not!)

i have been having equally good and bad days, which i guess is a good thing.  but even on the good days, the exhaustion sets in pretty heavily.  my mood swings still have some out of control moments, moments that leave me disappointed in myself - i try not to be to hard on myself, i know that hormones and lack of sleep have a lot to do with who i am much of the time.  but there are nights after your brothers go to bed that i sit back and reflect on the last 45 mniutes of the day and im not always proud of the way it ended.  i am grateful to be forgiven and to be given the chance to try for a better tomorrow, but it isnt always that easy!  and with the hormones being an issue, sometimes i just want to cry!  one of my biggest wishes is that you and your brothers all grow up and remember me as being the best mom i could be.  i love you all from the depths of my soul and all i want is the best for each of you.  you are my angels, entrusted to me from God, a blessing that not everyone is given in their lifetime and i never want to let a day go by where i may have taken that for granted.  you are my life, my everything and for you i just want to be my best!

baby, i love you and your brothers with all my heart, forever and always....

millions,

  ~ mommy

my baby bump sure is growing!!

waist = 35 inches

11 weeks...a beautiful sound!

well, we had our second doctors appointment today and it was a wonderful visit!!  not only did i find out that i have actually lost 3 pounds since i was last there (4 weeks ago) thanks to my 4 weeks of nausea and indigestion but we were blessed with the opportunity to hear your tiny heart beating!  160 beats per minute and it was such a beautiful sound.  your littlest big brothers were there with us and when i looked over at them once the doctor found your heart beat, it took everything in me not to burst into tears!  even your brothers looked totally amazed at what they were hearing! 

our doctor does feel 100% certain that there is only one of you growing in there, so that was a nice piece of mind! not that we would object to another set of twins, but knowing there is only one baby gives us a certain sense of peace.  it means that although we will be welcoming a new member into our family, other things wont have to change, like the kind of vehicle we drive or sleeping arrangements within our house!

with a party planned for this weekend and a houseful of guests on their way, i was overly excited to get the nursery cleaned up a bit today and get the brand new crib out of its box!  we really lucked out with our baby #4 planning and ended up with a nice handful of brand new baby gear.  when your brothers were nearly ready for their toddler beds, we were notified of a recall on the crib we had originally purchased, we acted on the recall and were given the ability to replace our crib for a very minimal cost!  so now you baby, get a brand new crib!  in addition to a brand new stroller because of defective parts in the one we had for matteo and vincenzo and even a new baby monitor, because the one we had prior to you came close to burning our house down!  what can i say, we are truly blessed and in so many ways God continues to have wonderful plans for us!

You, my little dear, are about an inch and a half long now - comparable in size to a fig! your teeth buds are starting to form and your bones are hardening.  your hands will soon be opening and closing to form tiny fists, which i am sure you will have no problem using to give me little jabs in the ribs as you get bigger!  although i still have at least 4-6 weeks before i can hope to really feel you moving in my belly! 

i am feeling a little bit better everyday and that in itself is a blessing!  the better i feel, the better i can care for the both of us and your brothers and even your dad. you will be entering this life into a wonderful loving family baby and we are all so excited to meet you!  keep growing, stay healthy and know that we all love every inch of you!

millions...

   ~mommy

waist = 35 inches

weight = 130lbs...according to the dr.'s office

10 weeks - almost there...

almost to the end of the first trimester that is!  crazy how quickly time is flying by!  although many of my days still seem to take an eternity because i am often not feeling well.  the nausea has subsided quite a bit, unless im having severe "other" issues, then that in itself makes my whole being not feel well.  so i sit here eating grapes, drinking water, hoping and praying that something, anything will help my body remember that it needs to take just as good care of itself as it does you!

many comments have been made lately in regards to the possibility that there could be more than one of you rapidly growing inside me!  although at 7 weeks, that didnt seem to be the case, i have to say until our next sonogram i am staying open minded to the idea!!  what a crazy blessing that would be, to be the mother of not one, but two sets of twins!  God sure would have my fully undivided attention after that!  i dont think i would be able to survive a second of multiples without him by my side!

and you my little baby, have been quite productive this week!!  you are nearly the size of a kumquat - about an inch or so in length from the top of your head to the end of your little bottom.  you weigh less than a quarter ounce and the most critical portion of your development is nearly complete!  from here on out you will just be growing and growing and growing! and your body will be figuring out how it works, how to use all its important parts, like your kidneys and your liver.  your fingers and toes arent webbed-like anymore.  you are starting to develop tiny little nails and some "peach"-fuzz is beginning to cover your soft sweet skin.  just a warning, if you are anything like your brothers were, that peach-fuzz wont be so peachy...it will be more like baby gorilla hair!  :)  your arms and legs are starting to bend and your head is about half the length of your body!  amazing, already you completely amaze me!

thankfully my uterus is apparently measuring about the size of a grapefruit this week.  knowing that makes me feel a little better about the fact that my clothes are shrinking and the maternity bin will be pulled out of the crawl space sooner than i expected!  i've definitely regained a bit of my energy and my appetite, both of which have their down sides. my moodswings seem to have calmed a bit too, now my crabby nights just seem normal, not hormone induced! 

a few more weeks and we will be blessed with the chance to see your tiny body and beating heart on the monitor and i cant wait!  a few more days and we should have a chance to hear your heart beating - just the thought makes my heart race a little!! 

i love you millions baby,

   ~ mommy

waist = 34 3/4 inches

weight =

9 weeks, in lifes whirlwind...

This has been in interesting week, from many aspects.  I am grateful to say that Tuesday was my first feel good day in nearly a month...the nausea seems to have subsided and i am HUNGRY!! i just want to eat, eat, eat!!  but...that only happened just in time for my number one least favorite pregnancy symptom to kick in - my "laid back" digestive system becomes extra lazy whenever i am with child and that is now my new reason for not feeling well.  so imagine, excessive eating + lazy intestines = a not so great feeling in my belly :(  but if it means my baby is growing and healthy, i will take whatever i have to.  in the whole jist of life - this is only a mere 7 more months of my life! (sense my optimism today?)

but on the happy side, it is nice to have a bit more of my energy back, some days, but more often than not.  my belly sure seems to be getting bigger by the day!  and i love it! i love seeing the outward signs of you growing inside me.  (i just ask one thing, be nice to my belly button, im not so sure how much more it can handle!)  its amazing to see how much i have grown on the outside, when on the inside you are only about an inch...the size of a grape!  your brothers love my comparing you to foods.  eating is a true passion of theirs, so to tell them you are the size of something they can relate to makes them pretty excited!

mashed potatoes has been a favorite food of ours this week...and the sour cream and onion pringles are still being craved - maybe i should satisfy that one, what do you think??  i also think i could eat a subway pizza with chicken, banana peppers, green peppers and hot sauce nearly everyday - but i wont, for both our sakes!

there have been a lot of life choices weighing heavily on my heart this past week or so, regarding my choice to work, financial choices...all sorts of big things that i look forward to watching God work through our life as we prepare for your birth!  the thoughts that have come along with the discovery of you have been so amazing baby. already you have changed my life by changing my heart.  i love you more and more everyday!

a few more weeks until i get to see your tiny figure on that black and white screen again, but until then i continue to follow your growth on the internets estimates....its amazing to me that at just 9 weeks, one inch in length you already have fully formed eyes, 4 chambers in your heart, arms with chubby little fingers, legs with little webbed toes.  nostrils, lips and earlobes...all such tiny miracles...all details of the work of Gods hands.

love you millions baby,
  ~ mommy

waist = 34 inches

weight = 129.8 lbs

8 weeks and the word is out!!

For weeks now, you have been daddy and I's little secret and little by little we were sharing tidbits of you with the people we were closest to - but that is no longer the case in more ways than one!  Not only has it become apparent to us and those that know us well enough that my belly is growing, but we have finally been able to share your presence with the world!! Seeing you heart beating last week gave us the confidence from God that we were seeking, a sign that all is as it should be, that you are with us for the long haul!  So the secret is out baby!!  And we are all so excited!

The size of a kidney bean and already you are BIG news!! as usual, you have been quite busy again this week, not only with keeping me "under the weather", but also with all you own little accomplishments.  Fingers and toes, eyelids, breathing tubes...those are all pretty exciting.  not to mention all the neurological developements going on in your brain!  You are an amazing little being.  Keep up the good work and i promise ill do my best too!

i love you millions baby

  ~mommy

waist = 34 inches

weight = 128.5 lbs



7 weeks and beating...

Today was an amazing day.  We had our first doctors appointment this afternoon and not only did you get a perfect bill of health, with right on time measurements...but we were also able to catch a quick glimpse of your tiny beating heart and your brothers were even there to witness it (although matteo and vincenzo seemed more concerned with their suckers!)

My dear baby, you are only about the size of a grain of rice and already we were able to watch your heart beating, at a crazy 129 beats per minute!  that is just amazing...an amazing sign of God's work.  He is ever so carefully knitting you in my womb.  He knows just how many hairs you will have on your head and what color your beautiful eyes will be.  You are fearfully and wonderfully being  created, a true masterpiece at the work of God's hands!

Your tenative birthdate as of today is June 1st, although I'm sure that will change more than once between now and then!  Your tiny little hands and feet are starting to bulge out of the sides of your little body this week, as well as the development of your eyelids and button nose!  Veins are starting to form, so that little heart i saw beating has somewhere to pump your blood through!  And even more exciting for you, your umbilical cord is forming this week...which means you will start "eating" every meal with me pretty soon!  (Dont worry, i wont have any problem eating enough for us both!  well, assuming that maybe these bouts of nausea go away soon!)

Word is starting to spread a little bit more - once Nonna got the precious news that your heart was beating, she asked permission to tell all of your "aunties" at her office.  i can only imagine how excited they must all be for your future arrival!  they spoil your brothers quite a bit when they go in for a visit!!  Tuscan also had to tell his sunday school class this week "God put a baby in my mommy's belly when she was sleeping and now i am going to have a new baby!" 

Me: "Tusc, you werent supposed to tell anyone!"

Tuscan: "Mom, i know, i was just too excited to keep it a secret!!"

oh how i love that boy!!

He is also pushing the issue that we get your crib set up, ASAP!  he is worse than i am with the whole organization, get everything ready to go attitude! but he wants to be prepared!

We bought you your first two packages of diapers today - just to use up some great coupons!!  baby you have no idea how different the life of your family is going to be compared to the life we were living when your brothers were born.  It just makes me so grateful that we have gotten to the place we are at before any of you were old enough to know that way it used to be!  God has blessed our lives in millions of ways over the last few years and you are the ultimate reward!  We are just so grateful for everything and so excited to be able to share it all with you!!

stay well baby and grow big!

i love you millions,

mommy

week 7

waist = 34 inches

weight = 128.5 lbs

6 weeks and the secret is shared!

Oh how the excitement can build in just a week...although your dad and i are chosing to be cautious with how quickly we spread the word of your presence in our life, there were just a few people that we needed to tell sooner than later.  Three of them being you big brothers.  Several months ago the idea of us bringing another baby into the family came up, by them...votes for a brother vs. a sister, specificatation of just one, not twins and the big question - "how do babies get in your belly, mom?"

my answer was simple - "God puts them there!"

   "When mom?"

   my answer - "While i'm sleeping!"

so today we sat your brothers down after their nap and told them we had a surprise to share with them.

"Boys, mommy and daddy have a surprise we want to share with you."

responses..."is it new toys? a new puppy? a bear?"

well since we certainly dont need anymore toys, we just recently got two puppies and a bear is just a little on the silly side...this was what we had to say:

"Remeber that one time when you guys were asking how babies got in my belly and i told you that God put them there?  Well, God has put a baby in mommy's belly!  But its a secret so you can't tell anyone until God tells us that its ok.  Because sometimes when God gives you a baby you cant always keep it, sometimes he has to try again and give you a different one.  So once mommy goes to the doctor and God tells us we can keep the baby, then you can tell your friends about it.  But for now, it is very important that we pray for the baby everyday."

By this point the only one really listening to us was Tuscan and he was quick to respond, "Oh dont worry mom, i will pray as soon as i get in the car! (we were leaving to meet Nonna and Poppa for dinner!)  This makes me so happy mom!"  and he crawled next to me on the floor, lifted my shirt and sort of bounced my belly around like he was just amazed by the whole idea!

Then we went to dinner.  I already wasnt feeling very well - you have been doing a good job at staking your claim in my body and making my stomach pretty uneasy much of the day this week!  But know that i am grateful, because i take that as a sign that everything is as it should be.  Although, you add nervousness to that and it makes it a little harder to enjoy a meal!  So it wasnt until dessert - after about 15 trips to the bathrooms with your brothers, that i finally had the courage to bring it up!

    "so, you guys are possibly going on your cruise in june, right?  because frank and i were talking about our vacations for next year, and i think we will be taking one towards the end of may and we may need your help with the kids for a day or so..." 

     with bewildered looks on Nonna and Poppa's faces, i continued..."because we are having another baby!"  :)

it definitely took a minute for it to sink in for them, they looked a little surprised to say the least, but i think by the time we left they were both pretty excited!  You see baby, you are the missing link to our family.  May you be a boy or a girl, you are #4.  The final piece, the one that will tie us all together and make us - complete!

As this week went by, not only did we share the secret with some pretty important people, but you were pretty busy yourself!  You now have the beginning of your facial features and little buds that will soon become your arms and legs.  Your heart is starting to beat - although i wont be lucky enough to see it or hear it for a few more weeks, but it is reassuring to know that your blood is flowing!  You are about the size of a lentil but you already have the developments of a brain, muscles, bones and lungs!  it really all is truly amazing!

I am holding up well, although i am still beyond tired by the time it gets dark every night. I'm not the greatest company on the nights that your daddy is home because i fall asleep about 20 minutes in to any movie!  But he's a good sport about it!!  I have indigestion, no matter what i eat, from the time i wake up until the time i go to bed!  But dont think of this as complaining.  I will take on whatever i have to as long as it means you are safe and growing healthy inside me.  I'm your mom, and i am proud to say that thats my job - to take care of you!

next week, we go to the doctor! i can only pray that maybe we can catch a glimpse of you, if for no reason other than checking in the possibility of twins status!! Oh My!!  :)

i love you millions baby!

waist = 33.5 inches

weight = 127.5lbs

5th week of growing, 1st full week of knowing!

Its 5 weeks today that you have been growing inside me and although you are only about the size of a sesame seed, i am definitely feeling the changes you are bringing upon my body!  I wake up with a very sore back and the first thought in my head every morning is "Oh my, i have to go to the bathroom!"

 waist = 32inches

 weight = ?

Scientifically, this week you have developed from a small mass of cells into something moreso resembling a human tadpole! You have been divided into three layers which soon enough will be the beginning formations of all your major organs, neurological systems and circulatory system.

Although we are still weeks away from hearing your tiny heart beat, you should know that the thought of you and your development make daddy and I's hearts beat faster!  we cannot wait to see you on that tiny screen for the first time, to see your little heart beating and the first formations of your beautiful little body.  But until that day comes, we will continue to pray...we will pray that everything about you is as perfect as God can create.  We know that every piece of you is in his hands until the very first moment you are placed in ours, so until then we will trust Him.  we will trust Him to take care of you and to help me take care of myself while you are growing inside of me. 

To everyone other than me and Daddy your presence in our life is still a secret.  But that doesnt mean i havent noticed other changes in myself.  I am hungrier than usual and thankfully for us both, i am craving healthy foods like fresh veggies more than anything else! I am also feeling pretty tired these days, more so than usual anyway, so i've been going to bed about the same time as your 3 older brothers!  I've noticed my sense of smell has increased a bit, making some of the girls at work look at me like in kind of crazy sometimes! and i think it would be fair to claim that your dad thinks im kind of moody!  but thats just a matter of opinion!  I am also noticing myself taking a step back to enjoy your brothers, to watch them play and interact with each other...to take a deep breath soak it all in because i am really starting to notice how quickly it all goes by and i dont want to miss another moment!

i love you baby...and i will make it my daily duty to take care of you to the best of my ability!!

millions,

mommy

ps - yesterday your brother Vincenzo asked me if there was a baby in my belly when he was pushing on my boobies...all i could tell him was that there wasnt one in my boobies!!  :)

could it be?

there could never be enough words to describe the joy, excitement, nervousness and anticipation that goes along with the ideas of bringing a new baby into your life.  sometimes its an experience that you get to plan, other times it may catch you by surprise, but i must say that for me the most peaceful way to experience it was when i made the decision to leave it all in the hands of God.  opening your heart to his plan is sometimes the most challenging thing you can do in your life, but ultimately it is also the most beautiful and rewarding.  it comes with a certain sense of peace, a peace that assures you that everything is where its supposed to be and thats how you have come into our lives!
the suspision started about a week ago, the thoughts that maybe it could be true...the thoughts that maybe there could be YOU!!  by wednesday morning i could no longer stand the not-knowing and i took a test.  Maybe there was a plus, maybe it was just my imagination.  i wasnt sure and i didnt want to say anything to your dad until i felt certain. 
last night i was reading some other moms stories on the internet and i knew what i had to do...this time it was perfectly clear, there was no mistakening the two blue lines that crossed each other in that little square.  it was the first real sign that you were already growing inside me!  a smile spread across my face that i couldnt control and i dropped to my knees and started thanking God for the miracle of you, asking him to protect us both, to keep us healthy and to guide me to being the greatest mother i can be to you and your 3 brothers.

my first real "could it be true" thought happened last week when i indulged in my first "i have to have it" cheeseburger from burger king - a craving i  had experienced early on with my pregnancies with your brothers! i've been getting weird bursts of energy, intensely cleaning the house, taking the puppies for "runs"...(let it be known i have never voluntarily taken a run in my life!) but  i also have been much sleepier than usual, heading up to bed long before your dad gets out of work.  which is why i wasnt able to share the news of our newest blessing with him until i got home from work today! 
he was laying on our bed when i got out of the shower, with toben...i asked him to scooch over so i could sit with them...
"Frank, i think i have decided to let my hair grow long for awhile." - me
"Oh yeah" - dad
"yeah, at least until May" - me
your dad had a small smile forming on his face at this point. 
i handed him the first pregnancy test from wednesday and said i hadnt been sure, then handed him the one from last night and said that i was definitely certain! 
"we're going to have a baby!! but you better not tell anyone until i give you the ok - you hear me??!!" - me

so here you are, a small mass of cells, no bigger than a poppyseed and already we love you more than we could ever imagine possible.  you are a miracle from God, a product of our love and a piece of the puzzle that will only make us feel more complete!  i love you baby and i am looking forward to everyday of our adventure together.  the first sound of your heartbeat, the first glimpse of you in black and white, your first tiny kick...all moments that i am preparing my heart for, knowing full well they will all bring me to tears! and i will wait for that magical moment when i get to hold you in my arms for the first time, to kiss your tiny head and feel you grasp my finger in your tiny fist!  i hope you will always know what a blessing you are and how much we love you, even from the very start!

love you millions,
mommy

our FL trip in a nutshell...

cuz thats what we were, a bunch of nuts in one shell!! 

i can honestly say, i wasnt entirely sure what to expect going into this trip...10 people under one roof, 5 of them under the age of 5...for 5 nights!!  are we crazy??!!  YES!!  mandy and i have always been a little crazy....but i can honestly say that the week didnt fall into that category! what it did turn out to be was TOTALLY AMAZING!! Frank and i have by far declared it one of the best weeks of our life!  and i think our boys would totally agree!!  we went into this trip without any plans or expectations and i think that helped make it as successful as it was. 

we pulled out of our driveway around 10pm saturday night and drove...all night long...to Dave & Enna's house, where we pulled in a little before lunch.  Dom and Dana met us there, we had some awesome subs for lunch and then frank and i laid down - for what turned out to be a 4 hour nap!!  meanwhile, dave and enna bravely took our 3 boys, plus Nico, to an indoor bounce house place!!  what a blessing that was for us!  not only did it allow us to get enough rest to make it through our next night of driving, but it also tired the kids out so that our night of driving was a big success!!  and we were back on the road around 9pm...

first stop, Dad C's house, where we spent the day swimming with Frank's dad and his fiance and her son... it was such a wonderful visit!  my boys all got a good swimming lesson in with Grandpa Frank.  we ate a wonderful lunch and just enjoyed some good quality time together!  back on the road around dinner time, we had another 40 minutes or so until we reached our final destination, the Inglese house!!

when we got there monday night we were showered with surprises and we were just in time to order some pizza and hangout for a bit before we totally crashed for the night!

Tuesday - the day that set the tone for the whole week!!  mandy let her kids stay home from school which gave us the freedom to do whatever, without any time constraints...so our first stop, the pool! we packed some snacks and headed to the pool until lunch time and it was awesome!  we had the whole pool to ourselves and i was finally able to meet mandy's good friend heather! 

that evening we packed everyone up and headed up to Ft. Meyers Pier, with mandy's parents as well. we walked into a few of the shops, where my boys acquired their first package of Silly Bands! then headed toward the beach where we first spotted a school of small sting ray, followed by a living sand dollar,  sea star and a sea urchin.  in all my amazement with the sea life surrounding me, i made it perfectly clear that the two things i wanted to see most while in FL were manatee and dolphins!  the dolphins were quickly promised, but i was told the manatee would be a tough one.

we headed up to the pier and as i was about to buy the kids some suckers, everyone started shouting "shannon, theres manatee, come quick!!"  and much to our surprise, sofia spotted a clan of 4 manatee swimming right under the pier!!  it was breathtaking!

we ended the night with an awesome dinner and a pitcher of margaritas, ice cream and a God sent sunset!!

 

Wednesday - Kolby and Lucia were off to school and we were off to Vanderbilt beach for some fun in the sun!  and a giant sting ray spotting of course!!  about 5 feet wide, brown with white spots, just like Mr. Ray from finding nemo...and he was about 4 feet from the shore!  for a second he looked to be swimming right at me, but he made a quick turn and ended up about a foot and a half away from frank!  what a sight!!  playing in the sand was pretty awesome too, but seeing the bravery of my boys, splashing in the ocean waters...thats something i will never forget!

that evening we headed to downtown naples where the kids (+ mandy and i) had a blast on the playground!  we walked the naples pier and had some quickly melting ice cream after we watched some dolphins put on a pretty good show for us!

that night was officially declared "adult night"!! we got all the kids to bed and Bartender Anthony got the night going for us...the rest is history!  and it was just like old times...its always so reassuring to know that no matter how much time goes by, with true friends, you can always pick up right where you left off!  mandy and i have been friends for 13 years and you would never believe that we have now spent more of them in seperate states than we have together!

forever young (and crazy) at heart!!

to be continued....