let it snow, let it snow...

today was one of the best snow falls we have had yet this year...although none of it stuck!! but it was those big fluffy, lake effect snowflakes that we all have grown to love. the ones that truly symbolize the beginning of the holiday season, and what better day than the day before thanksgiving! we were feeling festive today and decided to let tuscan put his little christmas tree up before frank left for work. he was so excited about it and it was such a good reminder as to what the season is really for. growing up christmas was a really big deal in our house, my mom always went totally overboard on gifts, we ended up with everything we ever wanted! and as much as i appreciated it, looking back now, i wish there was more family time and traditions to remember because i could barely tell you what any of the gifts ever were. so anyway, seeing the look on tuscan's face today reminded me why it is so important to start holiday traditions early on because those are the things that are going to grow with our children, the things they will remember and look forward to when they are all grown up.

tomorrow we are having my mom, my brother and his girlfriend over for dinner. as many of you can probably imagine, this is a huge deal for me. for many years my mom and i didnt have much of a relationship and its really only been since right before the twins were born that things truly and sincerely started getting better. in this past year my mom and i have grown closer than i ever imagined we could. i had been very close to her growing up but then decisions she was making really got in the way of that. so this thanksgiving i am more than grateful to have my mom back, a woman who most of my life shown me great strength and now continues to do so. she has over come so many challenges in the past few years and has now finally landed on top! and i am so proud of her. so tomorrow we celebrate her and we have invited her to help us put up and decorate our christmas tree, something she has not had an opportunity to do in quite a few years! this could possibly be one of the best thanksgivings of my life and i am really looking forward to it.

my one prayer for this holiday season is sort of personal, on a selfish level...but its the one thing i cant get off my mind. i am desperate for some time alone with my husband, a real moment to be a husband and wife - to go to a movie (something we havent done in over 3 years), to go out for coffee...to hold hands in the mall. i miss frank so much, more than words can even describe and i feel like i am so detached from him lately because there just isnt enough time for us. we devote so much time to the boys and so much of the remaining time trying to keep the house intact. by the end of the day there just isnt anything left, no time, no energy...we have been so on edge with each other and i hate it, but we just cant seem to figure out how to move past it and it keeps getting pushed aside. and what makes me feel even worse is the fact that he truly has been pretty amazing lately. he's been getting a lot done around the house so that during the day i have a little more time to devote to playing with the kids or reading to them...i know that this is just where our life is right now and that someday it will get easier, but every once in a while we just really need someone to knock on our door and say "hey, im here...ill watch the kids, you two need some time together" even just a chance to go to the grocery store together...anything, i just want some time to be with him, to talk without being interrupted by a crying baby or someone needing to go potty...etc...(bridget, i will for sure be calling you...kids haircuts is such a small price for me to pay in exchange for a night out with frank! you're the best!)

anyway, its jammie time...then bottle and bed, ill back the week up after that, there is lots to write about since last saturday!!